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teenage girls under massive pressure to do anal :(

257 replies

GinAndSonic · 23/04/2015 12:05

Article may upset some people. Saw this www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/11554595/Pornography-has-changed-the-landscape-of-adolescence-beyond-all-recognition.html in chat and thought it was something important to discuss, in particular this about teenages and anal Sex - "Moreover, both genders expected males to find pleasure in the act whereas females were mostly expected to “endure the negative aspects such as pain or a damaged reputation”."

Im not surprised by this sadly, as i was anally raped by my boyfriend as a teen over 10 years ago and pornification is only getting worse. What can we do, other thab talk to our kids? Can we do anything on a bigger scale to fix the problem, not just try to help our kids survive the shit storm?

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Original poster
GinAndSonic · 23/04/2015 12:34

thanks cailin, t sadly wasnt the only rape i survived, but im now finally having rape counselling and it no longer fills me with such shame and pain. Im doing ok.
As for why its a thing... bragging rights? "I even persuaded her to do anal"? Objectification, just another hole to stick a penis in? The idea that women who do anal are slutty and will let anyone do it to them probably goes with that?
Actively seeking to humiliate and hurt women?
Of course theres a whole load of boys growing up seeing porn, seeing women "enjoying" it, and probably thinking its a) as common as PIV and b) thinking women DO like it. I know ive been shamed for not liking it, as it its weird not to love it.
There are sick fucks who like seeing women in pain and pretty helpless to fight back, theres a whole subbreddit on reddit for "painal" ie, porn showing anal where the woman is in obvious pain. There are guys getting off on that.

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OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 23/04/2015 12:29

Sunny- I'd disagree with saying that anal sex is "not normal". You probably didn't mean it as such but that statement could come accross as pretty homophobic to some people eyes. Anal sex can be a "normal" part of sexual relations between consenting adults, straight or gay. The problem isn't anal sex itself; it's the attitude towards it, social pressures/expectations, and education as to practical sexual health aspects.

Effective sex and relationships education is the answer, I think.

INickedAName · 23/04/2015 12:28

I'm so sorry you were raped gin.

Callindana is right, education, from a young age is needed. The comment on the other thread about a posters 12 year old dd being dumped for not letting him stroke her leg and kissing, and the criticism she got from her friends for not putting out, and how another 12 year old in the same class has sent nude pics shows that it needs teaching when they are young.
I think it needs teaching both in the home, and also in schools too.

cailindana · 23/04/2015 12:23

See maybe this is just my pre-internet porn prudery showing, but I honestly am surprised that anal has gained such traction as a thing. I mean, you poo out of that hole - what on earth is the attraction? I know there's the "naughty" element and whatnot but it just seems a load of faff for not much reward. Am I being old-fashioned??

SunnyBaudelaire · 23/04/2015 12:21

yeh I had the anal sex convo with my DS16 - they honestly seem to think it is normal. I told him it definitely was NOT and was potentially v painful and that life was not an exploitative porn movie.
He did look a bit pale by the time I had finished, lets hope it sunk in.

cailindana · 23/04/2015 12:16

So sorry you were raped Gin.

We need to push for proper sex education for all children, right from a young age. We need to counteract as much as possible the idea that is still hanging around that sex is for men's pleasure and women need to give it to them in order to gain approval. We need to celebrate sex and portray it for what it is - not some furtive activity you tolerate in order to fit in but a great, enjoyable fun thing that you do when you're ready and that you're supposed to bloody enjoy!

Original poster
GinAndSonic · 23/04/2015 12:06

Sorry, link fail Blush

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