Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Need a bit of help in talking to DP who says '.... Because I'm a man'

31 replies

PenelopePitstops · 20/04/2015 08:34

Newish to this section so please go gentle!

Talking to DP last night about why he doesn't cry at happy stuff. He said he was an edwardian man and treats emotions like something kept hidden. This apparently harks back to the days when 'men were real men' and it's not manly to cry.

I almost saw red at this and said that women and men both feel emotions and it doesn't make you a man because you hide them. He also said that he wasn't into all this metro sexual new nan being in touch with his feminine side. Shock i said WTF does Feminine side even mean?! Are you saying that emotions are only a female thing? He couldn't answer this.

Am I right? I think dp is ready to be educated, please give me some more things to say!

OP posts:
WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 20/04/2015 09:08

Well, I don't cry at happy things either, I thought that was fairly normal and I'm not out of touch with my emotions generally. It sounds as though he was brought up to think that men shouldn't cry, as a lot of men were. That doesn't make it right, but it does make it understandable. Sounds as though he was just being a bit defensive.

There was an article on the BBC website last week saying it was thought that being unable to express feelings was one reason why a high proportion of people who commit suicide are middle aged men, so there is a need for education. Not saying your DH id in danger of that, but it is a problem that boys are taught to not cry, not express emotion etc.

DadWasHere · 20/04/2015 08:57

Show him this:

Yops · 20/04/2015 08:57

By my reckoning, an Edwardian man would be between 106 and 116 years old. In which case, I'd go easy on him. Why should he cry at anything? Everybody's emotional reactions are different. Emotion does not equal crying.

In fact, I'm now wondering if this is a wind-up. Have you posted because feminists are supposed to 'educate' men in how to react to any given situation?

Trapper · 20/04/2015 08:49

Sounds like he needs your sympathy rather than education.

AnyFucker · 20/04/2015 08:43

From what you have said, your dp doesn't sound remotely "ready to be educated"

TheoriginalLEM · 20/04/2015 08:41

Im not sure what the problem is. Everyone is different. I don't cry very much at all and i suffer with depression.

My dad would blub at the slightest thing. Ive only seen my dp cry three times in 22 years. one of those was when our dd was born. I didn't cry though.

I do think that women cry more than men. I don't however see crying as a weakness.