Help! Mean mummies!

Why would she want to be friends with people who don't want to be friends with her? ALL parents can't be in this group either. There must be a good few who aren't even if it's a small school.

From what you've posted though they don't sound particularly bad. One persons clique is another's tight friendship group.

Personally because I am an antisocial sod I have actively avoided people at the school gate. When DD started school, I realised the very last thing I needed was to launch into possibly I'll advised friendships with people I'd potentially have to see every day for 7 years. I make small talk occasionally but sunglasses on and iPod in discourages most people most of the time.

I basically don't give a stuff what any of them think about me though.

I don't think it's a feminist issue. Unless you think so because women are 'supposed' to be nice to each other at all times and those that don't are automatically 'bitchy'.

I don't get from the OP why this is a feminist issue either.

And, referring to a group of women as 'mean mummies' doesn't seem like a particularly feminist act...

Is it really a feminist issue? Other than possibly in the sense that women feel a pressure to be liked by everyone and are less able to handle it when they aren't. (Which sounds unsympathetic towards your friend, I don't mean it to). That said, I have seen many men managing teams poorly because they want to be everyone's mate and don't want to make hard decisions. So I suspect this is more of a human condition than anything else.

Cliquey behaviour is horrible but she truly doesn't want friends like that anyway. They can't be the only people in the playground. Can she make her timings very exact so she arrives just as the bell is ringing?

If you wanted to help, can you go with her a few times so she has someone to talk to once in a while?

Effer my DS doesnt have his dad involved in school runs like at all and I don't join in the socialising and yet he still manages to have a social life. It's not obligatory.

Why doesn't she just walk past them without trying to say hi I don't chat to many school run mums or dads for that matter, only the ones that DS is connected to. It bothers me precisely zero because I don't take it personally. There is a clique of mums who all do facebook and everything but as I don't think we would have anything in common I don't care. She needs a thicker skin!

I think it kind of is a feminist issue though. Blokes don't have this pressure to integrate themselves in the community. I know that DS has some lovely friends but I worry as they are always popping in and out of each other's houses and he isn't thus making it harder for him to be part of the gang. I feel like it's one more thing that's on me to solve along with making sure he has all the right things on the right day and remembering school concerts etc. DH does have to trouble his head about any of this. It's the definition of wife work.

I know the cliques can be a pain but how many parents are there dropping their children each day? 100? 200? They can't all be in the same friendship group and your friend the only one on the outside. Your friend needs to ignore the clique, not give them headspace they aren't worth it. Look at the other mums standing on their own and go and say hello.

Best drop off smile blandly but don't engage. I speak as someone who really wanted to make a few friends at the school gate being new to the area. It really upset me for a while but you once you realise it's not going to happen and that you can't make it it's very liberating.

No experience of this but wasn't looking for friends amongst the other mothers. Collection at end of school day was done by his nanny not me and dropping off in the morning was usually running far too late for work anyway to engage in chat. They all seemed pleasant enough at the end of year dinners and Christmas dinners/birthday parties which was really the only contact I had.

Agree save her energy for real friends.

I don't speak to anyone on the school run. Your friend would be better off saving her energy for her real friends
It doesn't seem like a feminist issue to me though, more of a relationships one really.

From my point of view it's a lucky escape. Why on earth would she want to be friends with people who can behave so childishly and stupidly?

I would advise her to cut her losses and simply ignore them. Don't initiate any contact that isn't necessary, and simply be cool and calm with them. It's not a snub to her, it's them demonstrating how idiotic they are.