'Sussex Police is taking an innovative approach' to their new Rape awareness campaign

Moving slightly off from stranger rape, but still applicable, if you want to get really wild and innovative, you can teach people, starting as young as possible, about consent. What it is, what it isnt. That its not embarressing or weird to ask "is it ok if..." or "do you want me to stop?" Etc. That consent should be enthusiastic, not reluctant. That unconcious people cannot consent. That you cant assume consent, ever, even if you have had sex with a person a billion times before. That consent to one thing is not consent to all things. And that consent can be withdrawn at any time, regardless of how naked you are, or wether you are already having sex. Because actually, these are not lessons that people are having. Some people genuinely dont get it. And the more you teach it, the less we will see these so called "grey area" rapes, where men claim they didnt know she didnt want it. If you are expected to make sure the person you are with actually wants to have sex then that will be no defence at all.

My ex bf had some body issues and disliked being touched, and found sex really challenging. It absolutely did not "kill the mood", or whatever, to ask him "can i touch you?", "is that ok?", "do you want to have sex?". Knowing his own issues, and mine, with regards to being a survivor of rape, he did the same. If either of us sensed reluctance, we stopped. We both knew that every time we had sex that we both really, really wanted to do it. How is knowing that NOT considered sexy?

YY Dueling, and that "taking advantage" view of rape is the mindset that this campaign promotes.

It's utter bullshit.

TheCrow that's it exactly.

You can't lock up your vagina, but you can lock up rapists.

? This.

And actually, no Dragon, leaving your vag at home wont work either, since you are most likely to be raped by someone you know, like a husband or partner who would have access to your home and your unprotected vag, which would obviously break the good-girl-be-vigilant-or-get-raped rules. And because you can be orally raped. And anally raped.

You know what prevents rape? Making women feel like they can report rape. Ensuring police officers investigate properly. Smashing rape myths so juries arent confused by them. Judges handing out harsher sentences. You know how that prevents rape? By removing rapists from society. You cant lock up your vagina, but you can lock up rapists.

and how many are arseholes taking advantage and could have been avoided

so here's the crux isn't it? Because those arseholes, thanks to a campaign by Sussex Police, might think it ISN'T their fault, they were tempted into by those naughty girls who are out on their own after dark instead of walking around in the safety of the herd, avoiding the rapists.

Whereas if the campaign said "Rapists! Don't rape people!" the message might actually get through.

The issue here is with the campaign being run. And coming from the authorities, it is the wrong message. Coming from your mum - maybe good advice.

You can't explain it because it doesn't make sense Dragon. You can't control another person's actions. A rapist actively chooses to rape. To believe you can somehow prevent someone else's voluntary actions is just plain mad.

But if hes a rapist, and he doesnt rape someone that day, he will another day. Because expecting no woman to ever go anywhere alone is unrealistic. The rape would still happen. Because the man is s rapist.

I don't mean to be rude but, I'm struggling to see which but you are finding so difficult to understand Dragon.

ok - but in another scenario, that rapist goes home alone because he doesnt stumble upon a vulnerable young girl who has been separated from her friends either

what i am trying to say is that SOME cases of rape are avoidable, if less than 10% are by strangers, which is still too much, how many of those are opportunist "walking past and saw someone" we dont know, we dont know how many are planned... and how many are arseholes taking advantage and could have been avoided

from this thread, i guess you cannot avoid a rape by doing anything except leaving your vag at home?

i give up, my world is not as black and white, and i have said my piece. its my fault i cannot explain it as well as i think it.

But for the authorities to run a campaign saying "girls here's how to stop getting raped" instead of "men here's how to stop raping" implies that a % of the blame does lie with the victim.

Right, ok Dragon. Im in a bar. Im with my friends. There is a rapist in the bar, watching the women. I have 3 drinks, i stay with my friends, we share a taxi home. I dont get raped.

Thats not a rape being prevented. Mainly because "potential rape victim" isnt my default setting, nor should it be anyone elses, and thats what you do when you give out this advice based on rape myths. You tell women to assume that they will be raped unless they take action to avoid it.
But also, if the rapist hasnt raped me because im a good girl and ive stuck to the dont-be-a-victim rules, has he gone home without raping? Or has he stayed in the bar, and raped someone else? Someone who tried to follow the rules, but accidentally got separated from their friends? Someone who he spoke to and who agreed to go home with him? A barmaid as she headed home after closing time? Which victims have to accept responsibility for not taking enough anti-rape precautions?

This shit doesnt prevent rape, it displaces rape AND give people a reason to not sympathise with the victim because good girls follow the rules, good girls dont get raped.

I know Gin we women are so stupid. Tsk!

so every single rape in the world ever would not be able to be prevented by taking a different action??

this does not remove any % of blame from the attacker

But Dragon don't you see that by saying "you should stay safe, don't behave in XX way and put yourself at risk" the implication is that the person who gets raped didn't stay safe, didn't avoid it and therefore is to blame in some way? When in reality the blame lies solely 100% with the rapist.

Rape isn't a preventable disease, or even equatable to an opportunistic theft. It's a violent crime against another person. Nobody invites it in any way.

because this is not an ideal world, and people are not nice - i personally find it really annoying to hear people say that EVERY SINGLE rape could not be avoided by a change of behaviour/action of victim - which is not victim blaming or being a rape apologist

Normal people are outraged with murder and knifings and raping.

Oh yeah Koala, silly me, i forgot that i can leave my orifices at home when i go out drinking!

Yes, Gin because our vaginas and mouths are optional accessories.

If someone sticks a knife in someone else there is, rightly, outrage.
If someone sticks their dick in someone else? Well, what was she wearing? How much had she drunk? Where were her friends?

Such bullshit. But the rape apologists wont use murder as their go to comparison crime, because comparing women to laptops and watches is much easier than comparing them to, y'know, humans.

i think the male one is fantastic and should be used, as we know, rapists do look like everyone else

Oh FFS. That poster is awful. I like the one with the men out drinking that has been mocked up, it's much better (however, as a female is statistically more likely to be raped by someone she knows they should make a poster with the family sitting around the dinner table.)

I mentioned "Rolex man" because in reality the courts take a dim view of opportunistic crimes perpetrated on drunk people (with the obvious notable exception)

I've read case reports where the sentencing judge has made comments such as " rather than assisting the victim you saw it as an opportunity. .." and has made clear such behaviour is contemptible.