A well meaning friend sent this to dd- I have to share it or murder someone! And why should I suffer alone?

Maggot alert

"Feminism isn't about hating men."

Yep it is, and boys too. That's why most women/girls refuse to call themself a feminist or have anything to do with the label.

You need to go down to Hakluyt's message on Wed 08-Apr-15 at 12:33:50 to see the original attachment, it's been lost from the opening post.

Feminism isn't about hating men. Feel free to start a thread in Feminism Chat (this topic) if you'd like to discuss people's personal definitions of it.

'fuel one's feminism'

This implies to me she hated men before but now she hates men even more?

What did her uncle tell her anyway?

LOL no that isn't what 'fuel one's feminism' means. I believe the OP meant her dd had seen through this apple tree message to the load of sexist bullshit beneath and is appropriately outraged (as most of us on this thread are). it has not caused us to hate all men or even the man who sent it, who undoubtedly meant it to be consoling rather than infuriating.

"An honorary uncle sent her this as a consoling message. Fortunately it fuelled her feminism,"

Let me get this right, because of one man your dd now hates all men?

Errol yy I did like those aspects of Jo's choice but I couldn't help but be disappointed that she the author rather than the character opted for a pseudo-father figure. It felt like a value judgement on both Jo as a woman and as a slightly more challenging figure than her sisters. Although I enjoyed that she subverted the Jo/Laurie expectation.

Sorry Hakluyt I have strayed from the chastity of apples and their ability to save us from unsuitable relationships and salve us if we do succumb to a rotten picker.

Oh, I wasn't complaining.

I think I rather approved of Jo's choice on balance for not being ageist or based on beauty.

No idea what it is about apples. horribly tempted to say boys prefer a nice pear but that really wouldn't be helpful

"Seriously who woild be tempted by an apple? Unless it came in nice buttery pastry with a large helping of double cream or ice-cream."

You should clear your cookies Jeanne

My favourite pop psych reading is that Jo is secretly traumatized by her family's constant snippy remarks about her, and has been busily repressing her lesbianism, and the Prof is a bear type who needs a beard.

It's not my pop psych reading, sadly, but I like it. Though it does buy into the 'tomboy girls are gay' cliche.

In my work life, I have just discovered that, if you google for medieval images of apple trees, they send you to penis trees instead.

even though one could debate forever the feminist subtext of Jo's relationship choices!
^^ yy to this even on first reading, and as a massive fan of Jo, I couldn't equate the character I thought I knew with the person who had a relationship with Prof Bhaer. There always seemed a disconnect.

Still I got my man by falling from the tree then fermenting for a while till I was good and boozy.

Seriously who woild be tempted by an apple? Unless it came in nice buttery pastry with a large helping of double cream or ice-cream.

What is it with men and apples anyway? First it was Eve being all tempty with them, now we are apples. Feels like a step backwards, if anything.

Was never big on the Jo thing either, I must admit...

Oh, I got sent that apple tree thing when I was in my 30s. By the same woman who asked me "when are you going to settle down?" - apparently having a bloody good job, a PhD and a house all didn't count because I hadn't been "picked" by one of those wonderful patient man.
Strangely I was not thrilled and/or comforted.

Here we are - Meg is extolling the virtues of marriage (despite being married to something of a tyrant in my opinion)

"It's just what you need to bring out the tender womanly half of your nature, Jo. You are like a chestnut burr, prickly outside, but silky-soft within, and a sweet kernel, if one can only get at it. Love will make you show your heart one day, and then the rough burr will fall off"

"Frost opens chestnut burrs, ma'am, and it takes a good shake to bring them down. Boys go nutting and I don't care to be bagged by them," returned Jo

...

Grief is the best opener of some hearts, and Jo's was nearly ready for the bag. A little more sunshine to ripen the nut, then, not a boy's impatient shake, but a man's hand reached up to pick it gently from the burr, and find the kernel sound and sweet.

Yes, it was Prof Bhaer, and it had to do with frost causing some plants to bloom and a man having the patience to wait for the bloom (which a boy didn't - even though one could debate forever the feminist subtext of Jo's relationship choices!). Will see if I can find it now.

Wah! PP claiming this kind of thing aids recovery from emotional abuse!

Nooooo! A thousand times no.

1. Emotionally abusive nice guy types love this stuff
2. Woman builds her self esteem on it. Either silently or sharing on FB and alienating ground apples, crab apples, granny smiths...
3. Nice guy weirdo spins the princess/apple narrative and gets the girl. Lo and behold the whole thing starts again.

NO narrative thar says you're a princess because other women are grubby is healthy or truly raises self esteem. IF it really, really "worked" and the girl or woman felt good off it, essentially she'd end up like some "mean girls" teenage superiority bully sneering at the floor apple girls.
IF. More likely she'd just worry about maintaining her safe status ... making her emotionally vulnerable.

And yes: been in an EA relationship with a nice guy weirdo. So know what helps recovery.
Personally I give wine but with a bit of feisty Beyonce or Gloria Gaynor.

No, I can't ... I was trying to think too.

It sounds like the Prof.