Gym thinks only men can be Drs

I agree with alex. That would be the proper way to handle it.

This sort of thing happens to women all the time. It is also clearly a nasty issue for transmen. I know someone who had a patronizing wanker ask him 'and is it Miss, Mrs, princess or queen?'

I mean, that would make most of us puke. But the idea that it's cutesy to ask women about forms of address like that stems from the idea we don't just get a default title. It's additionally shit if that sort of cutesy question is also misgendering you, but the point is, women are taught to expect this bullshit. Not just as errors on forms, but as a constant barrage of comments - like yours, kim - that tell women, oh, what you want? Doesn't matter. Just be Miss for a while til I bother to fix the system.

Ok guys folks, I try not to use it myself but I don't think use of it means the user thinks that the "guys" are all men, especially if they have spent any time in the US

(Thinking of the phrase "aww, you guys..." for one)

Go around calling men gals and see how they react when you tel them it means them too.

We're only allowed to "misgender" women.

Guys is the equivalent of me being told years ago that man in my textbooks, meant women too. It doesn't.
Go around calling men gals and see how they react when you tel them it means them too.

Indeed, Countess.

It's not as though this sort of thing is a new issue, like the transgender titles.

Women have been addressing this for decades.

You'd have thought our cis privilege would have kicked in by now, wouldn't you?

I think "guys" is sometimes used colloquially for a group of people - otherwise "folks"

'Being told you must use Mr because the system says so is the kind of shit trans people get everyday. And the system won't change wheres i have no doubt the gym will update their system to reflect their mistake'

Why are you talking as if everything gets fixed really quickly for women when it never does for trans people, Kim? Women have been plugging away at these issues for decades and decades. Trans issues have only been brought to most people's attention in the last few years but we're already seeing changes like the Facebook gender identity options.

Being called Mrs DH'sName which is not MY name or title in any shape or form is the kind of shit I get every day and it's not going to stop any time soon.

I bet this gym is one of those places that doesn't have a Ms option too so that women's only option is to be defined by whether they are the chattel of their father or of their husband. I normally choose Mr in those circumstances but then I wouldn't be able to get into the changing room!

What was wrong with my solution, Kim?

No one is told they can't use a title, the problem is dealt with by techie people and access is provided without insulting the customer.

I think your example is completely different km147 as changing sex is a specific and unusual circumstance. Women being doctors is not and it is pretty shocking in 2015 that programmers use such lazy gender assumptions.

That "ideal" conversation is the type of patronising crap most women would expect. It very much "let's get you back in your box missy and maybe one day we'll get around to treating you like a fully fledged adult".

Same old, same old.

Tell you what, why don't we change your title to Miss / Mrs and that would work.

How is that an ideal conversation when you choose to use your Dr title? And why not Ms, if you absolutely must temporarily change it? I think I would be looking for a new gym provider, and contacting their head office to know why - the initial problem and then the patronising way it was dealt with.

I hope you don't have to work with customers in your line of work, kim.

Kim I have to disagree with your ideal conversation. This is because the gym is a business, and if any business told me that I would be extremely unimpressed and may be looking around for a different gym.

I maintain that the best way to deal with it would have been a swift apology, a promise to look into and rectify the matter and the immediate issue of a key code that would access the right changing rooms. There was no need to risk insulting a customer with the explanation of exactly why it wasn't working.

I have and use the title of Dr since getting my PhD. I use it partly because I am entitled to, but also because I prefer to use a title that signifies something I worked hard to achieve something, rather that a title that specifies my marital status. I've kept my surname since getting married and I like that my title and name have stayed the same.

The database issue is quite common...

Once I was buying a car and the finance was refused. We worked out that it was because the system was changing me to a male as a result of my title, and then finance was refused because of "inconsistencies" in my application. The poor guy selling me the car was mortified and got straight on the phone to their IT services to express his horror and rage.

Another example is a well known travel company that will allow you to book using the title of Dr, but your boarding pass always becomes Mr. Luckily it hasn't caused me any issues when travelling yet!!!

I don't mind being Alex Translator-Linguist if I can be Dr Alex.

To the gym: buy some normal locks and keys. Not everything needs to be hi-tech. Ludicrous lack of forward thinking.

If I had worked for the gym I would never have admitted what had caused the problem. I'd have said "I'm sorry, there's a computer problem. Here, take this other code key for the time being and we'll sort it out"

I use my title because I can't get my head around the Miss/Ms/Mrs thing but when I opened my first bank account (with RBS) in the UK I was told I couldn't have my title on the debit card because I'm not a medical doctor.