Metaphor for consent- cup of tea

PeaceOfWildThings

The tea was not drugged or tainted (if it was, I would have certainly mentioned so).

The woman regretted drinking it only because she was worried about what her peers might think seeing as she lets different men make cups of tea for her so often. Perhaps she could save her reputation by claiming she didn't really want to drink the last cup? That would ruin the life of the innocent man who made her the cup of tea and was happy she enjoyed it, but her reputation is more important. Right?

Nono, MrsKCastle, I think wuzzio is agreeing that tea is an excellent metaphor for sex

Yes, wuzzio, we get what you're saying.

We just disagree.

I've had a few friends (male and female) who have had drunken sex that in hindsight, perhaps they wish they hadn't. None of them have called it rape. The most common reaction IME is 'Oh God, what was I thinking? Best to forget that happened.'

Just imagine a man taking his wife to court to complain she wasn't having enough sex with him. He would either be laughed out of court or even face charges himself for harrassing his wife for sex or for wasting police time.

wuzzio

#2 Tea was drugged?

The law can be an ass; we are agreed on that.

Another question.

From a feminist perspective and still using tea as a metaphor for sex, if a wife nags her husband to make tea for her and he doesn't want to make tea for her and doesn't make enough tea for her over the years, is it right for her to successfully sue him?

This actually happened in France in recent years:
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/8741895/Frenchman-ordered-to-pay-wife-damages-for-lack-of-sex.html

I guess in France married men don't have a legal right to say no.

Marmalade?

Yes.
And your point is?

"2. Why on earth would anybody worry about having too many cups of tea made by too many men? Just doesn't happen."

As I said I'm using OP's metaphor for drinking a cup of tea made by a man = sex with that man

I liked the tea analogy itself, for the same reasons as Pacific. I'm not keen on the length of it, and the way it is all worded, but perhaps that is also part of what makes it work.

I'm not sure about the bit that says 'if they say yes they want tea, but they don't drink it'...what is that about? Maybe misread signals or something like that. Or just that people can change their minds. Or warm up their own tea in the microwave if they want, when they want to. Without telling the person who made the tea. Oh yeah, there's a lot more we can get out of this!

Even more succinct:

Fuck off, you annoying bloody troll.

Nicely put, Still.

wuzzio in #2 then she'd be an evil lying bitch trying to ruin the life of a bona fide tea-maker. There - is that what you are looking for?

Here's another scenario - what proportion of enthusiastic tea-drinkers lie about their enthusiastic tea consumption?

Yup, the metaphor still works nicely. And you know how common it is for people to enjoy a nice cup of tea, regret it the next day and then tell everyone they know they were forced to drink it? Yeah, people do that all the time, don't they?

As for scenario 1- as you describe it, nothing to see here, woman changed her mind, they shared a lovely cup of tea, no problem.

However, there may be a much longer story between the 'No' and the 'Go on then', involving sulking, tantrums, guilt tripping and a history of nagging until the woman drinks the tea. Which would rather change the situation.

I can only imagine the 'Go on then' being reported as rape, let alone getting anywhere near a court if there was a much bigger back story.

Ok, I'll bite:

1. Yes. She is entitled to change her mind.

1. Why on earth would anybody worry about having too many cups of tea made by too many men? Just doesn't happen.

HTH

"Isn't the clue in the scenarios in that 'she happily drinks it'?"

But in #2 she then regrets it the next day and wonders what her peers will think about her drinking tea by so many men.

Well, yes or no?

You are feminists, I am not. We might come up with different answers.

"Serious question."

Yeah, I kinda doubt that, TBH.

Hello wuzzio, and welcome to MN. There's more to it than FWR, if you care to explore.

*the examples above should read "man asks woman" not "man asks women"

Using the OPs metaphor, would these scenarios be rape?

1. Man asks women if she wants a cup of tea, she says no, he asks again and she says "oh go on then". He makes her tea and she happily drinks it.

1. Man asks women if she wants tea (or she might ask him to make her a cup). She gets the tea, drinks it happily all the way to the end and the man and women leave each other on good terms. The next day she regrets drinking that cup of tea and wished she had never drank it and worries what her peers might think about her drinking so many cups of tea made by so many different men.

Would either of these be rape? Serious question.

Oh, really? Cool.