The feminist marriage - do you wear a ring?

I wear a simple gold band on my finger- but OH are not married and no intention to get married.

Reluctant Well 16 years later MiL and I don't speak. I was a failure as a daughter in law. I know this because when ds1 was 3 months old I was sat down for a "family meeting" and told all my failures! I persevered but after failing to produce female offspring with FiL's colouring I decided no more. Dh could do his own keeping in touch with his family work. The writing was probably on the wall with that wedding!

I wear a ring but so does DH, so I'm fine with it.

Anyway, I actually couldn't get it off even if I wanted to sausage fingers

I'm a rabid feminist , and I wear a plain gold band most of the time. Dh never takes his off. We had a simple wedding service with close friends and family, no 'giving away' or fancy gown etc
We enjoyed it as a party and wanted the legal protection.

I would identify as a feminist.

DP and I have an idealistically equal relationship, although in practice I out-earn him and he can be a little stubborn ahem so I won't pretend it's all nice chummy compromises (although most of the time it is, or we are on the same page - certainly where it matters).

FWIW I wear a moderately sized diamond (some would say blingy, others too small, but who honestly cares, I like it). I quietly made sacrifices for a number of years while we were less well off (channelling inheritance into the house, paying more due to DP student debts), so I was absolutely delighted when DP decided to sacrifice a chunk of his own spending money over the better years to save up to get me a beautiful ring. I like beautiful jewellery and watches but mostly either can't afford it or know well enough that I ought to prioritise the money elsewhere

In terms of wedding rings, the key thing for me is that we have both agreed to wear them. DP is not a ring-wearer, so this could be interesting and I do wonder if his will end up in a box, but we are aiming to get one that fits in with his work, as it does involve lab work (high tech, not mainly about choosing something he's happy won't be destroyed).

I also don't think finger matters a bit, so wear your wedding ring where you like. It's symbolic to the two of you and presumably you're not hiding your relationship otherwise so no big deal.

Personal choice.

I took mine off a couple of years ago after reading more about feminism. I tried it back on for a bit, but it felt even worse then. A proper mark of ownership. So I don't plan on ever wearing it again.

I married quickly for immigration purposes in an orange dress and green doc martens in front of a judge with two witnesses and then let MiL organise every part of the wedding a few months later with all the usual stuff, she enjoyed that kind of thing and I didn't and dh is an only child.

the system will be changed shortly to record mother's details as well as father's - meantime there is no point ranting at the registrar.

just turn up, bring two witnesses, say the words, sign, job done. 15 minutes tops.

being 'given away' and dressing up are not part of the register office ceremony, unless you want them to be. Name changing has never been a requirement in the UK, nor has wearing a wedding ring.

I wear a wedding ring when circumstances are suitable, not if I'm doing something where I might lose it. He doesn't wear one. Neither of us 'own' each other. No name change, why bother?

Im also pondering this, getting married in September but struggling with some of it in that its all so against how i feel (in a feminist way!)
So, no-one is giving me away, Im not wearing a veil, we wrote our own vows, Im not changing my name and i will wear my right because i love it but not on my 'wedding finger'

I wear a wedding ring and consider myself a feminist. It's a romantic reminder of the promises DH and I have made to each other, and a reminder of him when we are apart. It's not a symbol that he owns me. I suppose I don't particularly like the fact that I advertise my marital status whereever I go (it shouldn't be relevant), but I don't think that my wearing my ring has any impact on the equality /lack of equality of our marriage.

Actually, I've never taken the wedding ring off since DH put it on on our wedding day, 11 years ago .

DP does, I don't because I work in a very sexist industry and don't want to penalise my chances of progressing my career.

If certain senior members knew I had a DP, let alone a kid, they would quickly reassign the more difficult (and higher revenue) jobs to my male colleagues, under a cover of being accommodating to my 'needs'. Done directly it would be discrimination, it would be illegal, but done subtly and under a 'let's get more women in our industry by showing we can make things easier for them when they have kids' type initiative and it would happen.

In some ways it would be more feminist of me to wear the ring and confront them head on instead of playing along but then I'd be labelled a 'problem employee' and never get to a level where I can do something about the culture. Once I'm running the joint I'll put it back on.

So if you can, and you want to, I'd wear it. Congratulations OP :)

DH and my daughters designed my ring. It wasn't meant to be a wedding ring - it was a 50th birthday/engagement present (not engagement ring!).

It is just so beautiful and meaningful that I couldn't spoil it by adding another. We used it for the wedding ceremony. No name change, didn't change it first time and my children have my name. I tried to encourage him to change to our name but he wasn't having it!

I have a cheapo silver ring and didn't change my name. Our wedding was also purely for legal reasons, done in secret with two witnesses.

However, my ring is currently under the sofa and has been for months. Neither of us are arsed enough to shift our heavy sofa to retrieve it shrug

Thinking about it, I should have put some effort into choosing a really nice (non-wedding style) ring that I would enjoy looking at every day for the rest of my life!

He does, I don't. I do have one somewhere but I don't like wearing it. H likes wearing his.
As long as no-one is trying to make anyone wear one at all, its doesn't really matter.

I would wear what you like

DH wears a ring, I don't...not because of any feminist principles, My fingers are just too fat for my engagement and wedding ring

Actually fat fingers are nothing to laugh about

I wear my wedding ring AND engagement every day, but see it as a handy way to not have to 'explain' my marital status and as pretty jewellery.
Like SecretSquirrels said, these rings have no more 'power' than that: I take them off at night (late MiL used to appalled at that!) and I left them at home for a hospital stay and when we did a rather rough'n'ready holiday.

I understand the rather anti-feminist implications of the wedding ring traditionally, but I like the symbolism of a circle going on forever, so that's what I wear it for.

Not that I would not LTB if he was not as nice as he is

Wedding band, yes. Same one for both of us. Engagement ring no (he did not have one, either). Our wedding was registry and small like yours, too. No name change, double barrelled kids with dhname-reni1name.

No. Neither of us likes wedding rings on men, so I don't wear one either. I also don't like the idea of having to be "marked out" as "taken". I'm quite capable of turning down advances (not that that has been a problem for a while.........)

I dislike engagement rings largely because of the unedifying competition which they seem to set up amongst women

And I haven't worn it sometimes for stretches at a time (when pregnant/and after with fat fingers)

Yes I do (but no engagement ring, didn't do engagement) and only because DH does as well. I bought it myself, just a small gold band.

Didn't change my name.

In my case - sometimes.
I did the quick registry office wedding just as a formality as you plan to do. It so happened I had been given my late grandmother's gold wedding ring so I had it altered to fit.
To my mother's horror I don't wear it all the time, it has no huge superstitious meaning, it's just a nice ring that I wear some days and not others.

I'm a feminist and wear a ring as a personal anchor. When I look at it I see a reminder that I've found a fantastic equal partner, rather than a symbol of ownership. My DH wears a ring and he'd probably say he does it for the same reason as your DP, but I'm happy for him to wear it/not wear it for whatever reasons are meaningful for him

I wear a ring. Bought it myself, too. Same with my engagement ring. They were my choice, my funding. I just like them as jewellery.