why do women marry older men and is this a feminist issue?

The age of first marriage is in general going up as well, giving more time to iron out differences.

It is absolute rubbish that teenage boys aren't mature enough. Some might not be, but a lot of my friends met their dhs at that age.

I am surprised by those stats. The majority of couples I know have partners of the same age. It probably does make a difference.

Dh has a pin money job, and I am the breadwinner. He did most of the baby care from birth with 2 of ours. Dh knew from our teens he would be taking a supportive role and I would be concentrating on my career.

There's still an average age gap on both marriage and on having a first child, and I'm sure it does make a difference - in my case MrNC is 7 years older, which means he had a career by the time I started mine (and could support me through both PhD and illness). We worked out that if I lost or quit my job whiile the child-now-children were in nursery, it would make little difference financially. If he did, we would be on the edge of coping.

So I think a move like in the Netherlands where all public jobs are max 4 days a week would make a big difference - many women after kids don't feel physically up to full time either.

My mum is older than my dad and people thought that very weird - same age gap now would invite way less comment. I think couples mainly marrying / having kids later will help a lot - quite simply, when social norms were for girls age 17 to consider a life partner, no wonder the malewas older - teenage boys just aren't as mature as girls until at least age 18 or more, and women get used to looking at men a bit older - probably wears off by mid-20s.

Ideally we'd both work a 3-day week, but he's had enough grief going down to 4 days and at least his work is very flexible. We've both rather scuppered career prospects though - financially we'd be better off one of us having a full time promotion and the other having less work.

Obviously that was thirty years ago, but even now dp is younger than me but because he has been working for two years longer (for various reasons) he earns more than me. It's obviously not a problem that people who have spent more time working to be earning more than those who haven't, but if the former is most likely the man of a heterosexual couple and the latter the woman, then it will have an effect on the choices made when it comes to childcare

In my case, the reason why is simple - love!

We have a 22 year age gap, he was the higher earner for all of the time we were together (20+ years), but is now retired.

So, he now does childcare & home stuff, I work FT. DD is in primary school.

The switch hasn't always been easy for either of us, but we are getting there!

Those couple of years can make a big difference. There are two years between my parents and they were both doctors. Because of the way you progress through the profession my father was inevitably earning more than my mother by the time children came and she wouldn't ever have been able to catch up at that stage

The average age gap on first
Marriage is dropping all the time and is now down to about 2 years older for men.

If things are finely balanced financially then I think it does contribute to the difference post kidsq

I think you're over- thinking it. Off the top of my head I can't think of any couples amongst friends and family where there is more than 5 years difference. Most are less and the woman isn't necessarily the younger.