The Mary Beard Appreciation Society

you always get people who feel that the very act of analysis of this is a criticism of their own choices

I don't really understand your problem with the language still - dresses are feminine, jeans aren't (well, some are, some aren't) - if you wear the stuff that is traditionally feminine, then you are conforming to a feminine style of dress.

Like conforming to black-tie, or uniform standard - there's no judgement, it's just a word saying that you're following some particular set of rules.

I like performing though, because I feel that's what it is when I sit down, pick an outfit, do my warpaint, and put on a presentation as 'professional woman' or 'presentable partner' rather than wearing the first thing out of the wardrobe and saying the first thing that comes into my mind.

And you always complain that people are sneering and being rude to you but give no thought to your own style.

Whether or not you want to become a personality, you are one. And one I'm not going to engage with going forwards, as it's too soul destroying.

"Conforming", on the other hand, is a subset of performing. When you perform you choose to conform or not conform. When you conform you conform.

I find "performing" rather liberating. It's about what I do in different context, as a multi-faceted endlessly fascinating personality. We all perform on different stages at different times. Says she who has just been to the Globe theatre.

So "conforming to femininity" isn't the least bit loaded? Yeah right.

without being talked down to by patronising "feminists" who assume I'm doing it to please a man"

That's exactly what people have been trying to explain they're not saying. At times, even on the internet, there's a case for not demanding an argument that nobody wants to have based on a misinterpretation of something someone said that wasn't even directed at you.

Anyway, could you all get back to the interesting academic discussion I was reading as a lurker please?

As usual, Still, you've jumped to something that no one said. No one, except you, said wearing dresses was to please a man. Dresses are socially perceived as more feminine articles of clothing than jeans and boots. Therefore wearing dresses is more in line with cultural ideas of femininity than jeans and boots.

Are you also going to disagree rudely with that?

StillLost I and anyone else on this thread do not give one flying fuck how you dress. It is entirely up to you and all of us to wear beautiful dresses or jeans or whatever. It does not make us more or less a feminist. It does not necessarily mean we want to attract a man. It's just what we want for ourselves.

Anyway, for the love of god could someone drag this back to the wonderful Mary Beard

how about 'conforming to femininity' rather than 'performing'?

How about the deciding to dress the way I like ,which is pretty dresses and skirts rather than dull boring jeans and work shirts which look equally dull and boring no matter who wears them, of my own free will , without being talked down to by patronising "feminists" who assume I'm doing it to please a man"

Exactly Petula. It is not us The True Feminists on FWR who are trying in any way to dictate what anyone wears. We're just aware of the historic reasons why some particular styles of dressing are seen as 'feminine' and some are not, and how most of us (NA!!) conform to that style.

you're misreading this completely. i don't think anyone here would disagree that we are all "performing" in some way

X-posts sigh

Well StillLost perhaps suggest an alternative for the academics to use so that you're not offended?

How about 'conforming to femininity' rather than 'performing'?

I always read these sorts of phrases as a commentary on our society, rather than a judgement on any individual within it. And as many of us have said up-thread, a lot of us conform/perform to some degree or another in daily life because of socialisation.

here's something posted online in 2011

feministcurrent.com/3011/my-performance-of-femininity-and-why-it-isnt-all-about-me/

I think there needs to be a distinction drawn between bad feminine clothes and good ones

Really ? And you are the one to make it?
How bloody arrogant.

Unless someone can suggest an alternative term for 'performing' that won't make the wearers of dresses feel offended

Wearing a dress is "performing"? No more or less "performing" than you "performing" as a right on, feminist (of the approved and acceptable kind ) in your uniform of jeans and boots.

it's not a MN term. it's used in feminist discussions all over the place

i wear high heels for work reasonably often, and if i go out (depending on the event). it means i fit in with the environment i'm in at the time, so i feel appropriately dressed and i like how it looks as part of my outfit. i entirely accept however that it is purely socialisation in terms of (a) what has become conventional workwear within my office and (b) my feeling that my outfit looks good and appropriate.

Is "performing femininity" controversial? > I've first come across the term here and feel that it expresses my experience.

I've only come across it on here . I find it a bit ridiculous and a bit patronising. What gives any of the right to say I'm "performing feminity" ? There's a nasty undertone to it.

I can see why some women who are not particularly invested in discussing academic theories of a sociocultural nature might find the specific word "performing", in relation to how they choose to present themselves, insulting and patronising. It implies fakery and acting and trying to please and an audience who you dress/behave for rather than for yourself. So some women might feel that they are being judged and looked down on. It's a simple misunderstanding of the academic language.