housework

Rufus, have you considered a strut? More purposeful than a lollop. Gets you to the cake quicker.

Sorry, I'm rather busy at work right now, but I can pencil you in for a quick "looking down my nose" session around 1600, if that will make you happy?

It won't make me happy, because, as a rule, I don't look down my nose at SAHM, however, if that's what you demand of feminists, I could make myself do it?

But. We work the same hours. The fact that I'm paid more than him is irrelevant, we both contribute to the household. We both live in the house and we both create the mess (though I'm prepared to admit 13 year old DD is the major contributor to this) be both and even, occasionally, the child need to eat.

Are you, perhaps, misunderstanding the gender pay gap? Women don't earn 15% less than men because they work less hours. They earn 15% less than men because of structural patriarchy.

Would you like me to explain the maths to you? I used to teach GCSE maths, it's about the same level.

Or lollop

I could lollop into someone's house, it's not as graceful but it's a good word

iheart

Going to leave csi for this afternoon, I've just realised I haven't finished watching supernatural

You've got to plan things carefully I find...

Oh and I've no interest in marching into anyone's house unless it's for coffee and cake and even then I would probably saunter

scallops My children have to clean their bedrooms and their playroom, DH does bathroom and toilet, I do the rest...see planning again

There are feminists marching into your house?

I think you have bigger issues than housework tbh...do these feminists speak to you? Can anyone else see or hear them?

Ahh yes children doing housework. They don't earn any money. We should get them doing it all. If they are old enough to push a Hoover, they are old enough to do the hoovering, I say.

So how does your version of straw feminism manage to cope with my DH who spent many years as a SAHD doing half the housework?

Now that he's back at work but I'm earning 65% of the household income, what proportion should:
He do?
I do?
DD do?

"I say this again. Men used to put pressure on women to stay at home have babies and do all the housework. Now feminists put pressure on women to have a career, give their children to nurserys - oh, other women btw! - and refuse to do wifework."

Men still put pressure on women to do all the housework. Feminists generally put pressure on men to stop being assholes towards women. And support women in the process.

Again, if you have equal leisure time, equal money to spend and you are happy with the split of work i.e. One person doesn't have all the shit jobs and the other all the hero jobs then you have an equal relationship and everyone is very happy for you.

Agree with chunky and tab

Repeating something does not make it true.

I consider myself a feminist and am free to choose what I do, I make those choices based on what is best for me and my family, not based on which set of sex organs I happen to have.

I think there's a difference between speak for and evangelise for - and I think feminism evangelises for women rather than speaks for them.

The vast majority of feminists believe not that you have to work, but that you should have the choice to if you want to. They may also think that it is wise to keep your hand in and not give up your career to give you a safety net for the future, but still, they fundamentally believe that it's up to you what you do with your life and you shouldn't be forced down a particular route just because you have a vagina.

*supports, sorry.

Feminism doesn't put pressure on women, it support's the right of all people to do what they want, to have equality in all things. There is no pressure if you're free. Current society exerts the pressure.

The reason that it isn't obvious why men don't do 50% of housework is because your opinion isn't actually taking account of anything but your own experience.

Your situation works for you...but, you are not all women.

It does not work for you because you gave birth, it works for you because it works for you as an individual and a family unit.

When I gave birth, I got a baby, there was no message with the baby from the supreme power of the universe that it also imbued me with sole responsibility for housework.

So if you're happy with your set up, why do you care if other people want a different one?

tails! Tales obviously..

And how many tails have we heard of poor elderly men who live on beans on toast because they never learned to cook for themselves? Or women who always let their husband do the driving and now find themselves stranded with no way to get anywhere

I've spoken to more than one older chap who's admitted that it was a steep learning curve when their wife passed away.

It's best all round that we all pitch in with everything in my opinion. If it works for you in some other way, then go for it, you too are allowed an opinion, but the only looking down the nose I see is coming from your direction, not mine.

Yes, puffin is completely right some sahms are left high and dry, of course they are. I'm not sure of the stats but there are so many marriages that end in divorce just by sheer averages it is going to affect sahms.

That isn't looking down on you, but stating a fact. It can happen to a working parent too, of course it can.

iheart

But you are right ...I don't agree with your point, or I might not have understood it

My DH brings in 100% of the money! by your logic I should get up off the sofa where I am watching back to back CSI and do 100% of the housework...that won't be happening

iheartu

I have never experienced anyone looking down on me

No idea what your experiences are...but if people are looking down on you it's probably not because you are a stay at home mum...that's what I meant by my comment

And if you weren't trying to get a rise then my "stupid people" comment doesn't apply to you then does it

OP, if you were a bit nicer you may find that some people could agree with one of your points.
I have experienced women (only a minority though) who think that women who are sahm are letting the side down and should be working in the name of feminism and equality.
They really are a minority and not worth bothering with, and on here i have come across no more than 3. In rl I have met one who pushed it that much she ended up with a black eye, but she provoked over a period of about 6 weeks and had bloody serious problems.

It hasn't always been a thing actually, especially not amongst working class women. But don't let facts get in the way of a good rant.