housework

Haahahaha LOLZ OP. I have 4 children, work the same number of hours as DH and we share the housework most equally. Seems fair to me. Even when I was working from home. When he's stretched I do more and when I'm stretched he does more. It's only common sense and teamwork. Requires communication though.

I found a great way to make sure nobody does more than their fair share of the dusting in my household. Nobody does any. It's scrupulously fair.

This also works for vacuuming, ironing, window cleaning and car washing (isn't that why God makes it rain?). Admittedly this otherwise splendid system kind of falls down when it comes to preparing food, because we do get peckish every now and then. Thank heavens for the microwave.

Now, did someone mention cake?

We could go back to my plan of just hollowing the cake out...then there's more cake as well.

We can still have cake

It's just that I'm not going to be in it

So win, win!!

Does this mean we're not having cake now?

Bollocks!

buffy

I think it's fairly obvious that no planning whatsoever has gone into this plan.

tabulahrasa you stay away from me!!!

Iheartu (who may now have left) seems to be saying that being a SAHM is not a proper use of anyone's time, presumably because looking after children is not a proper use of anyone's time, so while being a SAHM they should also do most of the housework.

I don't think it is feminists who are criticising SAHMs here.

Phew! Sorry I'm late, did Iheartu take me up on my kind offer of a bit of a sneer?

Hope not, don't think I've got the energy now.

I think I'm going to need a bigger oven...

if

I wouldn't mind, but my brogues have pony hair on them....I'd never get the butter cream off!!!!

I think I need to rethink....and buy some dungarees

Just don't wear your brogues Rufus, you'd get buttercream in all the little holes.

though i am now enjoying the trojan horse feminist imagery

it doesn't really matter whether women have children or not, stay at home with children or work full time, part time, or not. either way, they will be judged and they will be statistically likely to be doing more than their fair share of the housework - the men in their lives are likely to be spending more time pleasing themselves. it really matters very little what a woman does and whether it's her own choice or foisted on her by circumstances or someone else. she will be judged for it

tab

3 kids, no pelvic floor......that's all I'm saying

I'm now a little bit worried about what the fact that eating previously jumped out of cake wouldn't occur to me as a problem says about me, lol.

tab

Still wouldn't be keen

Every time I ever see the cake scene in Under Siege I have two thoughts

A) why doesn't she pluck her eyebrows!!! It's a bloody monobrow

B) I wouldn't touch that cake!!

I'm a bit worried about what that says about me

Trouble is you want it all ways. Im not going back to work and why should I put up with people asking me when im going back then looking down there nose at me cos im going to look after my son properly.

It sounds like you are the one judging and looking down noses. You're implying that not staying at home isn't looking after dc properly. There's more than one way to do things,

You have a set up that works for you, that's great, but that set up doesn't work for everyone else and they should be able to choose what is right for them.

I've been both the main earner and also the sahp, a full months wage for me is quarter what dh can earn in a week so I've been mostly the sahp, I do the bigger bulk of housework, not because I have to, or because it's what dh expects, but because I want to, some days I'll do a lot, some days I'll do fuck all. Weekends the very bare minimum is done and everyone pitches in (mostly dh and dd as I'm in bed til 10am) so that we can all doss about together or whatever.

I've never felt judged or looked down upon btw, I've seen lots of slagging off of wohp though, I used to work in a day nursery and the amount of bitching about parents (mostly mums) registering babies for full time places was quite vile.

I kind of assumed you'd be in a hollowed out bit rather than actually covered in cake?

The feminist hive mind should really cover this sort of stuff if we're supposed to be doing it.

I'm not sure I would want to eat it after I'd been sat in it to be honest

Ooh you could sing it...the da da da da bit of the proclaimers I would walk five hundred miles kind of lends itself to, you're an asshole...

Though that's more cake than I was really planning on...

Just had a brilliant idea

I could jump out of a cake, dressed in dungarees while yelling "asshole"

if

Oooh I like that!! I can totally see me doing that, in a Saturday night fever way (but without the flares...they do nothing for me)

tab

Depends....is there cake?

You can all march round to mine and call my partner an asshole if you want...he's mostly not, but it'd be entertaining and I wouldn't want people getting out of practise.

But there are a patterns that repeat themselves throughout households. The personal is political. That is what feminists tackle, not uninvited individual cases. We look at the structures in place that create the imbalances we see. Or some of us do. Because feminists aren't a hive mind, but generally we all recognise and understand privilege and how that manifests itself in power/status differences.

I'm enjoying the image of marching into your house uninvited and telling your partner he's an asshole, though .

My partner doesn't do less work than me (in or out of the home). He earns less though. Dilemma, dilemma. What can I do? He's asleep at the moment btw. Maybe I should wake him up and tell him to do the dusting not that either of us know where the dusters are?