Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

My mother just told me off for being "too feminist"...

88 replies

bagelfiend · 18/01/2015 20:37

.... Because I said that I don't think I should have to change my name when I get married.

She proceeded to tell me that "it's been that way for years- why get fussy and change it now?"

I struggle to believe that she made me Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
bagelfiend · 18/01/2015 20:58

She is absurd beyond belief!

DB and I just sat there flabbergasted at some of the things she was saying. Sad thing is that her partner is a chauvinistic, alcoholic twat who cheats whenever he fancies. Her reaction to the constant cheating? "Boys will be boys".

It makes me SO sad to see her. I love her so very much but she frustrates me to a point that makes seeing her very difficult.

OP posts:
Parietal · 18/01/2015 20:56

i didn't change my name. hasn't caused any trouble at all - my parents, the schools etc have all got the idea that I have one name and DH has another.

the DDs have my surname as a 2nd middle name, so they are name1 name2 my-surname his-surname. It is not double barrelled but it does mean my name is on their passports and is available to them if they want to use it.

Amethyst24 · 18/01/2015 20:56

Pant-ironing makes me think of the huffing sound steam irons make when other people use them.

theRotcod · 18/01/2015 20:52

Don't think my pant ironing comment made complete sense but hopefully you get the gist.

theRotcod · 18/01/2015 20:51

Our dc has a double-barrelled surname. Were we to ever marry (unlikely), then we'd double-barrell too... Or just keep our own names.

Your mum sounds quite funny. I wouldn't let it wind you up, just laugh about it. My mum has started to act flabbergasted that dp does housework. I didn't realise she'd brought me up with the intention that I'd grow up ironing a man's pants but there you go.

EduCated · 18/01/2015 20:48

Thundercunt is a truly excellent idea.

My DM told me off the other night for not cooking my DP a meal before I went out for the evening, and because he does most of the cooking. I tried pointing out he's currently working PT and I am FT (no children) but this is apparently irrelevant.

Original poster
bagelfiend · 18/01/2015 20:44

We both have very average surnames that work on both of us.

I'm thinking we should change it too "thundercunt" or similar.

OP posts:
UptoapointLordCopper · 18/01/2015 20:42
Sad

I didn't change my name. It's a lot less fuss than changing it, I believe. And you get to tell people you don't want to talk to that "there is no Mrs BagelDHsurename here".

Original poster
bagelfiend · 18/01/2015 20:42

What do people do regarding surnames?

I don't want to change my name and neither does DP. However, I do want to have the same name as my children.
Do we both change our names to something completely different?

OP posts:
mrscumberbatch · 18/01/2015 20:41

If I ever capitulate and finally marry Dp I'm taking his surname because its a doozy.

I don't think any more/less of anyone who chooses to do either to be honest

Original poster
bagelfiend · 18/01/2015 20:40

Last time I saw her she told me that I should eat steak because steak is for men.

OP posts:
ThursdayLast · 18/01/2015 20:39

When I told my mum I wouldn't be changing my name she said 'Oooh your Dad will be pleased'

I guess my name is not my own Sad

Fingers crossed we're making it easier for the next generation.

mrscumberbatch · 18/01/2015 20:39

Just file it away in the 'silly old sod' folder.

It could be a lot worse Wink