Feminist Pub 16: where the Bluestockings develop armoured stockings to deal with the thousand paper cuts

It all sounds very familiar kickass. And it's the conscientiousness of good teachers that is relied on really to do the extra work because they (management, government) know that teachers will not let the children's education suffer. It's the same with nursing, social work, all those caring professions that are traditionally associated with women. And SAHPdom too as you say - like Cailin's thread at the moment, it's that thing of knowing that "if I don't do it no one else will and it's the children who will suffer"

In fact, there is a very real argument, that teaching is seen as a predominantly female (or at least typical female role) profession - you know, taking care of kids - so it's OK to pile on endless shit work. I used to tell trainees that it was like housework/raising kids - it is never done. There's always one more thing you could be doing. That's a big psychological stumbling block to get round if you ever want any family time.

Yes, I remember it being like that in the UK. Add in being in a school which was appallingly badly run (when I left my job was just given to a less qualified, experienced and able boy man rather than offered to any of the many excellent female staff because, you know, penis). I also had DD (age 5, spectrum kid), and, believe it or not, DH working longer hours/travelling a lot. And a high percentage of the kids were really antagonistic, goaded on by anti-education, anti-teachers parents.

After I left, just before we moved to the US, I went back to visit my old form group. I had a serious sweating palms, heart thumping moment just driving into the place. I hadn't realized how very stressed I was until I left.

Sometimes teaching is a bit like banging your head against a brick wall - great when it stops! (and it's supposed to be a 'soft' option for women to do- pah)

no no - it's harder for the actual teachers, you're right - but that's why I'm selfishly blrting it all out here rather than in RL!

I'm sorry Petula, I replied to you without really reflecting on how you are affected by the situation. It sounds really tough for you too.

dragonlette it does seem just relentless at the moment - I'll just keep holding out for after summer exams and then duke of Edinburgh starts

Petula, that sounds about right for good teachers at this time of year. Since Christmas we've had year 11 mocks, year 11 reports to write, year 9 reports now, sixth form mocks, parents' evening this week and anothe one next week. I'm also going on a school trip this year, but it's been put back to Easter because those of us who went last year during Feb half term were too knackered when we came back having had no break (the kids too). I'm exhausted and feeling disillusioned, even though I love the actual teaching bit in the classroom, and I don't even have any additional responsibilities, and no desire to take on any sort of management role.

Michaelangelo unfortunately yes, someone on SMT reads all the reports and we get emails telling us what we've done wrong. So I can't write what I really want to about some pupils, I need to be diplomatic.

Quite chuffed about the woman bishop today.

Also I am doing some work for a company who I shouldn't mention, and I'm working at a high level so have no idea what life is like on the shop floor but OMG they are taking inclusion seriously and putting great policies in place to drive real action. I'm v impressed.

(Can't name because of fear of outing, confidentiality agreement and also complete certainty that if I name them, someone will come on and say 'No Lonny, they're shit in rl.')

Petula, that does sound incredibly tough. You're completely justified in having a kvetch about it. I have no advice, but will shake my fist ineffectually at the way that teachers are pushed to the limits, if they are any good.

Yes that was a Good Thing

Inauguration of first female bishop in UK today

Goddess bless all in this house

DoctorTwo, your daughter sounds ace.

Petula, that sounds really hard.

Dragonlette, does anyone read the reports before they go out? Or can you just go with the flow? :)

Thanks Demis - it's not really as tough as it could be because I actually do (with my new job) have the time to support him and as I said we don't have children

But we want children, and I have ambitions too, and I'm watching him do what seem to be basic requirements for anyone who wants to succeed in the teaching profession (and yes, he wants to become part of SLT, and he almost certainly will through both his hard work and the fact that he very much fits the mould of what a senior teacher should be). And perhaps this is pessimistic but I can already see how my career could easily slide into being required to fit in with the requirements of his job, especially if we have children (and neither of us is likely to be a very high earner) regardless of the fact that neither of us think it should have to be like that. He's not selfish and he feels guilty about how much he has to work, but the whole system seems to rely on good teachers' sense of responsibility to their pupils which means that it subsumes everything else

Boo hoo I know, and who knows what will come to pass, but it's been one of those evenings where I listened and sympathised for half and hour with DP complaining about yet another responsibility that has been dumped on him, and then spent the rest of the evening on my own

That sounds really tough Petula. I am a school governor and the workload of the staff at our school is incredible. Especially as they have to be so enthusiastic and patient in the classroom, which must be so hard when you are dead tired.

Sorry this isn't really a feminist thing, and we have it easy really because we don't have children, but I just hate how all-consuming it is sometimes - like dragonlette he is bogged down in reports, has lots of parents' evening atm and is involved in tons of extra-curricular stuff so that involves more evening meetings and paperwork. Plus all the usual marking and planning especially as one of his colleagues isn't performing so he is doing practically the job of two people. The tipping point this week is that he is trying to apply for two vacant jobs in other schools (great ppportunities) but he barely has the fucking time to actually complete tr applications. I recently changed jobs as I was working 2hrs away and we barely saw each other. But now I'm home and we can't spend time together either! Weekends I'm occupying myself while he is at a desk all day, and I can do that perfectly well and see friends etc but it is a bit lonely

Since christmas he has basically worked every day including weekends until about 10pm and I miss him. Things won't get better at half term because he will be on a school trip, so he won't get a break and I have to live with him exhausted and ill in the weeks before Easter (happens every year)

Sorry for mega-whinge and I jnow it's not really that bad, it's just that I want to fix it for him and I can't

Going back to swearing and kids: as you know, my dd2 is quite the adept at this swearing lark. :o The other weekend she introduced me to her lovely new cat (who is beryootiful btw) then launched into a rant against austerity which contained zero swears. Her grandparents were in the room at the time... :o After I'd congratulated her for her self control I told her to get involved in local politics if she felt so strongly about it.

In return I got another swear free rant about corruption. So much for the young being disinterested in politics and news.

*her own choosing

Buffy your Dd will go far I am sure and hopefully in precisely te direction of her how choosinf

I'm putting this here because I can't say it out loud. But tonight I really really hate that dp is a teacher

Ah, but this is virtual wine. Report-writing safe.

yonic - ok, thanks. Very busy, but in a good way.

I can't drink with report writing!! I'd end up writing frank and uncensored reports that are definitely not suitable for parents to see

I'll live!

How are you?

Eek. Hope it works out well.