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Original poster

Do women simply need to learn how to fight more?

79 replies

QueenoftheRant · 01/12/2014 09:49

www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-30272204

No one's picked this up yet so far as I can see. Hurray for the people concerned, its so good to see women who are willing to defend themselves at need. It also highlights a question I've long been interested in. Personally I had my fair share of fights when young and I would love to see physical self defence training taught to all girls in schools rather than netball. I wonder whether that is the necessary last answer to male aggression. I think of male aggression essentially as gender based bullying and the usual way of stopping bullying is to hit back.

But of course there're two points: firstly a male friend once told me that if women could defend themselves more effectively they would be targeted more as men's restraints towards them would drop.

And secondly do we really want a world where fighting is a way of life?

Any takers?

OP posts:
LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 01/12/2014 10:24

Well it's the difference between societal and personal to me. Am I pleased these women fought back and stopped their harassers? Of course.

Do I want everyone to fight back? Well that's not really the right question, is it? I want a world without violence, full stop. A world where all our children can walk the streets safely, boys and girls. Young men in particular are at risk of violence from other young men, presumably a large % of them fight back and defend themselves, but it doesn't solve the problem or stop violence, so I don't think fighting back works on a general, societal level, no.

basgetti · 01/12/2014 10:23

It's great that the two women in the OP were able to fight them off. Sadly also last week in India a 15 year old girl tried to fight off her abusers so they set fire to her and killed her. Not sure what that says other than women are damned regardless because the issue is male brutality rather than women's responses to it.

ChunkyPickle · 01/12/2014 10:18

I have to admit, I prefer to teach my son to fight less.

At his primary, there is one exuberant young lad who has some form for whacking other kids when he gets over-excited. DS is told to back off, loudly ask him to stop, and to tell the teacher. He does this, it works well, DS is still friends with everyone.

One of his friends (a little girl in this case) has been taught to hit back. In contrast, this escalates the fighting and upset, has caused letters home, and general bad feeling between the teachers and this parent (who is otherwise perfectly nice, as is her daughter).

I would prefer that everyone is much less tolerant of violence, rather than we all bundle in however I wouldn't necessarily count self-defence in this, and I think that the difference is that as adults I would hope we could be better judges of when we need to defend ourselves, and when discretion would be the better part of valour!

The tricky part probably comes in when you decide to make the switch for a kid from 'tell the teacher' to 'use your judgement and deal with this appropriately yourself'

BuffytheFestiveFeminist · 01/12/2014 10:17

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.