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Original poster

Feminist Pub 14: The Bluestocking, a place for feminist chat and feminists to chat

987 replies

YonicScrewdriver · 14/11/2014 22:56

Welcome!

This is the 14th incarnation of the Pub and is meant as a place to drop by with random thoughts and meandering chats, on feminist or other related themes. Anything you want to mull over but not necessarily start a thread about. Alternatively, flop onto the chaise lounges with some Wine

We have a pub goat, a feminist cannon for firing at crazy sexists and a variety of drinks and snacks. And stools/bar counters at female friendly heights. And a crèche in the back somewhere

Will link the last pub in the next post!

OP posts:
MyEmpireOfDirt · 15/11/2014 22:54

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PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 15/11/2014 22:39

Yes, I know his father was very violent, so presumably that's where the link comes from. I read a bit of his autobiography a few years ago from one of those 'on holiday piles in the hotel'.

AWholeLottaNosy · 15/11/2014 22:34

Hi all just watching the Johnathon Ross Show and Gary Ramsey was on saying that he was doing an Iron Man run and that one of the charities they were supporting was Women's Aid. I nearly fell off my chair! He's always seemed like a rather aggressive guy so I was surprised he'd be supporting a charity like this. However I did a bit of googling and apparently he's been supporting WA for years. Seemingly he was a victim of DV as a child so obviously it's affected him his whole life ( which it does). Anyway, kudos to him!

DemisRoussos · 15/11/2014 22:22

Evening all, have just spent the day at the Imperial War Museum, first visit - how amazing! Lots of difficult conversations with DD1 tho (who previously didn't know about 9/11, for example). Such scary stuff to have to comprehend, so hard to explain in an age appropriate way Hmm

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 15/11/2014 22:15

Me too Dude. Me too.Smile

TheoreticalDudeOfFeminism · 15/11/2014 22:13

Hello - I thought the old pub was a bit quiet. slightly paranoid everyone is deliberately trying to lose me

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 15/11/2014 22:02

Just marking place. Hi everyone. Wine

FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle · 15/11/2014 21:13

Kickass - can any of us help? Do you have access to journals through the library at your college?

kickassangel · 15/11/2014 21:06

Well I'm meeting with my adviser and she has passed my concerns on to the head of dept. before I go I'll put it all down in logical order. In the mean time I have a 15 page paper to write by Thu without any books to refer to, and my last piece was given a wrong grade imho.

Right, movie is starting. Baymax to the rescue.

Flowers and kittens to everyone.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 15/11/2014 20:43

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Dragonlette · 15/11/2014 20:31

I'm just marking my place so you don't all run away from me again.

I'll be back once dd2 finally goes to sleep (overtired and tantrummy Sad )

Zazzles007 · 15/11/2014 20:19

Welcome to the pub Novida.

Kickass I think it is time to take your complaints higher than you have done so far. I haven't been at uni/college for a long time, but there must be people at the dean level and higher who will listen. If you have already been to the dean, then go higher yet again, its time to escalate the problem up the hierarchy tree. What you have described so far about this 'college' is appalling.

Guesswho you have mentioned a friend who is in need, but you are stretched too thin as it is. It is perfectly fine to stand by your boundary and say "I can't take this on". It is up to each of us as individuals to decide what we will and won't take on, and then to defend those boundaries to the hilt with people who try to walk all over them (not actually saying that she is like this). I know it sounds harsh, but the friend has to deal with her relationship problems herself - you cannot do this for her, especially from a 2 hour drive away, just like no one can deal with whatever problems I have from half-way-round the world.

HTH

ballsballsballs · 15/11/2014 18:46

Hello everyone!

kickass No advice but Flowers.

Novida welcome to the pub!

Frau Wine

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 15/11/2014 18:35

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cailindana · 15/11/2014 18:20

Frau why do you think you're so emotionally involved in your friend's relationship problems?

Original poster
YonicScrewdriver · 15/11/2014 18:05

Hi Petula

OP posts:
cailindana · 15/11/2014 18:03

Hi Petula

PetulaGordino · 15/11/2014 17:50

hello folks

UptoapointLordCopper · 15/11/2014 17:46

Hello Novida!

Kickass Seems your college is a bit on the side of irony overload. Hmm Hope you get through the course. Post all you like. If we can't help we can at least listen.

Buffy Hahaha.

guesswhowhowho · 15/11/2014 17:42

TBH if I was any sort of a friend I would go to her. Today. Now. But she lives 2hrs drive away and I'm so tired

I know - queen of overthinking, me. Ho hum.

Original poster
YonicScrewdriver · 15/11/2014 17:41

Ok.

I think it's ok to step away from your friend. Can you suggest counselling, GP or even Samaritans (you don't have to be suicidal) for her to speak to - share the burden a bit?

With the flirting - try not to overthink (ha! Feminists often accused of overthinking!) and go with it whilst it feels good?

OP posts:
guesswhowhowho · 15/11/2014 17:37

n/c

friend is in a bad relationship. I'm trying to help her but I can't I am worn out and very tired. I've had to step away from some stuff because I just can't bang my head against a brick wall anymore. I have myself and my wee family and my mum and dad to think of too and I just can't split myself twenty ways. I'm tired. So so tired. But when I go to bed I can't sleep.

Plus (shallow alert!) I'm flirting with someone who isn't into the same sort of stuff as I am (I don't think! Radar isn't pinging) and I'd like to see if I can step that up.

FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle · 15/11/2014 17:34

hang on ...

Original poster
YonicScrewdriver · 15/11/2014 17:32

Frau, what has promoted you to want to change?

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