Oh fuck off... Superheroes for CIN

Superheroes only at our school, although the children were free to interpret that to people they saw as being heroes, and there were a few of those I saw amongst the older ones.

In Reception, where DD is, it was mainly the well known superheroes and there were plenty of girls dressed in Spiderman etc outfits. DD was going to go in hers but she hasn't worn it in a while and has taken against the padding, so refused. In the end, we adapted a Halloween costume into Batgirl with a bit of googling the logo, and she was very happy (at least until the logo fell off her cape at some point - my supergluing wasn't quite up to the job it appears). She was even happier when loads of her class and some of the teachers came as Batgirl too.

I think I did spot one or two princesses in the crowd, but I guess if a 4 or 5 year old decides he/she wants to be a princess and not a superhero, who is going to fight that battle at 8am?

The children chose to go as superheroes at my son's school. Some of the girls went as cat woman. I didn't really notice what others did even though the school is tiny but tbf most had coats on as was raining. Some children wore uniform and Pudsey deliboppers . All the teachers were dressed as super heroes too.

School asked for a donation. I sent in a donation x 3 as I have three children and the older two are at secondary school and didn't do anything.

I would be complaining big time about letting the precious delicate girls go as princesses .

Loving the "accessorised with a frying pan" .

My DD went to a nursery dress up day last year as Supergirl (she was the only non princess/fairy girl there - her twin sister went as a hairdresser ) and her key worker had the balls to say to me "lovely costume. But why didn't she want to come as a fairy or princess?". FFS. I loved that my DD was able to resist the peer pressure to like pink, want to be a princess etc, but when even the key worker is questioning her choice, what chance to girls have?

Have to say we've just had the CIN dress up day for their reception class and there were loads of girl superheroes and I thought nothing of it one way or the other. Also loads of other costumes - at the end of the day the kids just think of it as dress up day, it's the parents who get all involved in what they're actually wearing.

I didn't fully understand that post tbh , you cant really 'be furious' for someone getting it wrong, you need to take it down a few notches you're being a bit overly hostile.

Alice I absolutely understood what gerbil was saying and was baffled by your interpretation of it, tbh.

*misrepresented.

Doubt it was misconstrued.

Sorry op for hijacking thread

If someone said 'all the youthful optimism had been beaten out of them' would you recognize the phase or accuse someone of bringing violence in to a conversation? I'm fucking furious that you deliberately misconstrued everything in my post. A man can not dress like a princess in this world without be hassled for it. Because of people (like you) gender stereotyping people from childhood. It is basically living a transgender lifestyle. Whichis a big decision

Well, then I'm at a complete loss as to your vitriol, to be honest. You accuse me of not knowing whether or not there was a lot of pink sparkly girly stuff available when my dd was young, which baffles me. Stick to your own experience and stop trying to tell me mine.

I didn't call you homophobic. I asked if your comment was meant to be homophobic. That means I didn't really know what the blazes you were getting at when you said unless he makes a real lifestyle decision. If you want to make vague throwaway comments like that, feel free, but expect people to not really understand what you're going for and have to use some interpretation. Otherwise try being clear.

I did not state that paternal violence was a trump card. I simply resented you saying And your son might happy being a princess now, but I'm assuming that unless he makes a real lifestyle decision that will be beaten out of him before long which quite frankly is offensive and a poor choice of words on your part. If you meant something else, say something else. You brought violence into the conversation, not me.

I can't be arsed to even bother to discuss this with you any longer. I simply cannot understand the vitriol you aimed at me because I've stated that I don't get why people are so upset over it. You obviously are far more invested in this than is healthy, so I'm out and hiding thread.

Born and raised in America actually.

Dressing like a woman has nothing to do with sexuality. so I'm not sure why You would call me homophobic.

Also a victim of paternal violence since you seem to see that as some sort of trump card. Try and use logic though in the future.

Because if you have looked in to it you'd know that the reasons billions of pounds are spent on advertising is because children are incredibly susceptible to outside influences.

I have looked into it. They are also affected by their parents' biases. You know.. like yours...

There was NOT as much pink shite when your daughter was young. There just wasn't.

Wow. You are making an awful lot of assumptions. You know pretty much fuck all about how much pink shite there was when my daughter was young. Unless of course you grew up in the states as she did. There was, there "just was" thank you very much.

And your son might happy being a princess now, but I'm assuming that unless he makes a real lifestyle decision that will be beaten out of him before long. I guess you will say that's just chance and he chose to stop liking pink sparkly stuff though

Well, there are those assumptions again. Not sure what the blazes you are implying when you say "will be beaten out of him before long". If it makes you feel better, from your lofty perch, it was his FATHER that was physically abusive to him, which is why I kicked him out. No beating here, thank you very much. So kindly watch your choice of words.

His 8yo brother likes pink sparkly stuff and sometimes chooses that as well. Why would I care, as long as he's happy. Oh, and the real lifestyle decision?? What's that supposed to be? What kind of lifestyle decision has anything to do with what colour clothing someone wears?? Unless of course you are being homophobic, in which case, that's pretty offensive.

Also why is it always though who don't think it matter or who "prefer to pick their battles" spend the most time arguing that it doesn't matter?

Why argue about something that doesn't matter?

www.lettoysbetoys.org.uk/why-it-matters/

Interesting that people assume because I don't agree with their viewpoint that I haven't "looked into it a bit." hmm Arrogant, much? I have, and I prefer to choose my battles.

It's not interesting. I gave you the benefit of the doubt.

Because if you have looked in to it you'd know that the reasons billions of pounds are spent on advertising is because children are incredibly susceptible to outside influences.

There was NOT as much pink shite when your daughter was young. There just wasn't. And your son might happy being a princess now, but I'm assuming that unless he makes a real lifestyle decision that will be beaten out of him before long. I guess you will say that's just chance and he chose to stop liking pink sparkly stuff though

My DDs just went in regular clothes with capes. DD1 dressed in a green outfit and with a green towel as a cape - she is calling herself Earth Defender. DD2 is wearing a Moshi Monster dress and leggings with her Moshi Monster pillowcase as a cape. She is Super Moshi. Both capes attached with hair bobbles. Job done.

I would be pissed off with girls being told they can "be princesses instead", but the reality is that sadly, as far as dressing-up clothes available in shops, the boys' outfits are generally pirates and superheroes while the girls get fairies and princesses. So a lot of girls simply won't have a superhero outfit available. Not all kids are happy to wear an old pillowcase like mine and most parents can't afford to buy a new outfit just for one day at school. So the school giving the option of girls being princesses is just a symptom of the reality that gender-sterotypical children's toys and dress-up clothing, in addition to most superheroes being male, means that girls generally won't have anything to wear for "superhero day".

Hmm. I hate the whole princess as an alternative concept too. I remember doing a pirate party for my sons and someone suggesting I add princess as an option for girls - but I couldn't see why they wouldn't enjoy dressing as pirates so I ignored that particular suggestion (I was right btw!)

However, schools etc often get criticised for expecting parents to magic up costumes for these days and I expect the motivation of the comment was to provide you with an easy alternative that you might likely have at home anyway. Rather than you feeling obliged to buy/make something specially for the occasion that might not get used again.

Having had to make spotty things specially for my boys last year, I'd have been quite grateful if they'd say said come in stripes instead if you want.

Our school handled it better I think - they said dress as "a hero" - there were all sorts of interpretations of that in school this morning from Florence Nightingale to footballers.

FOG Actually there were loads of "pink princess shite" items available when dd was young. She chose stuff according to what she thought was interesting, not just because it was girly. She likes dresses, hates makeup and heels. She played with cars, trucks, science and sports stuff, as well as dolls when she was little. She was just as happy playing with matchbox and lego and tool toys as she was with kitchen playsets. If she'd wanted pink stuff, I wouldn't have had a problem with it. It's just a colour - it's not a lifestyle.

Ds2 (5yo) has blue as his favourite colour, but pink runs a close second. He loves princess stuff, cars, spiderman, Violet is his favourite Incredible (he loves to pretend to be her), ironman. He has a pair of fancy gloves with fur trim that DD gave him last year that he puts on and pretends to be Elsa from Frozen. He has barbies and transformers. He got a kitchen set for christmas 2 years ago as that's what he wanted.

I think that you just expose them to all the different stuff and let them choose. If they choose the princess stuff, fine. If they don't, fine.

Interesting that people assume because I don't agree with their viewpoint that I haven't "looked into it a bit." Arrogant, much? I have, and I prefer to choose my battles. Toy shops can offer what they like. I will buy what the dcs like. But the toy shops generally stock what people are buying, so I'd say if there's a section of pink "girly" stuff then it's probably being purchased by someone. And that's fine too.

I get your issue Tallulah My girls have gone as strong female historical figures and I'm happy about that. The older one came up with her idea on her own and the younger was helped by her older brother. I am lucky in that they have never been in to pink. I find it astonishing how shops have pink/blue sections these days and that it is worse then when I was small (42).

Alice, the reason some of us get "frothy" is because some of us are actually aware that all of the research shows that it does make a fucking difference. Happy for you that you think it doesn't.

You daughter is 29, she is nearly my age. It has been show time and time again that things have become worse for girls regarding pinkification. If you wanted to buy your daughter a pram..it would have been available in.. PRAM colours. Not pink. If you bought garden toys they would have been red yellow green. Not pink.

Girls learn pink princess shite is for them and when they research for science or interesting toys they see they are not available in their colours. So then what?

Rather than get forthy yourself about something you don't even think matters..why not look in to a it a bit?

I've got girl boy girl who are 11, 9 and 7. DD1 is CatGirl in her black dancing gear with a cape I made by chopping the front out of an old t shirt of mine, ds is called Archie (outs self) but his mates call him Farchie so he's Super Farchie with a suitably lettered t-shirt, dd's leggings, some bright yellow boxers and a cape and dd2 is Pow Girl - pink leotard and cape, black skirt and leggings. It cost me nothing thankfully. I'll try and post a pic in a bit, they'll look a proper motley crew, but who cares?

Or even in vacuums.

I'll stop being irate about things such as this, when stops being the world our children inhabit.

They don't live in vaccums. They are bombarded by media messages telling them girls need to be decorative and boys need to be protagonists, and to support and reinforce that message leaves them with no alternative.

At this moment, there are more male MPs than there have been women MPs, ever. The fact some people don't understand why it's not ideal, in that world, to teach girls to be princesses awaiting their prince, while boys try to save the world... well, I think that's a big part of the problem.

You can't be what you can't see. Representation matters.

She doesn't conform because no ones told her she should.

And that's great. And the cape is lovely, by the way, I imagine she'll love it.

Still struggling to see why you're so irate over it all though.