Girls beating up boys

I don't think AsAMan was suggesting that all women into BDSM get paid for it

Sounded to me more like a comment on this guy probably coming here to find something to wank to, I read it as a judgement on him trying to get his kicks for free of a group of women who aren't here looking for ways to titillate men. Not a judgement on those women who do enjoy BDSM.

It was a way of putting him down for not going to someone who'd actually be a willing participant, while also suggesting that only someone who gets paid for it would be willing to do it for him.

Obviously I could be reading too much into this, but that's how I've always meant tit when I've used the "I doubt you have that kind of money" response.

I didn't say it was aimed at me specifically. I have clarified that already.

I never said I haven't heard "you can't afford it" as a put down to creepy men. I said I don't like it as a put down.

Of course you can post what you think but you said her post was aimed at you and it wasn't as you weren't on the thread when she wrote it! And even if you were, she wouldn't have known what your sexual preference was.

I understand that you are upset and I'm sorry for that.

I'm also surprised that you haven't heard " you can't afford it " as a put down to creepy men before.

And she it's a problematic comment but it's one of the main standard come backs, if not the main standard come back, to creepy men. And we don't have a whole lot of come backs at all so to take that one away...

So if you were in the street and you saw a man approach a couple of 13yo and one of them said "you couldn't afford it mate" and walk off laughing, you would consider them to be the offensive ones?

And surely anyone who repeat posts on a women's website wanting stories of girls hitting boys and never give any reason is pretty damn likely to be in the creepy man category, hence the reaction to him.

Anyway to answer the OP's question, I once punched a man in the eye because he was the most vocal member of a 50 odd crowd of men who were sexually harrassing me at the time. They were part of a stag do and I can only hope the creepy guy had a nice shiner at the wedding.

DS has been hit by a girl at school but the vast majority of times he is hit by boys. HTH OP.

Okay, no one has come on this thread and said they are disabled, Black, or homosexual.

So, it's okay for me to say disablist, racist and homophobic things then? Because "they weren't even there"!

Right, so because I wasn't on the thread at the beginning, I am not allowed to post what I think?

That's really going to work on MN it'll last a long time.

And the standard response is fucking shite and rude and if it has to diss BDSSM then it's wrong to me - I don't get paid, I never have.

You wouldn't diss (I hope) lesbian or gay sexual preferences, and anyone who did would (I hope) get shot down in flames on here - so why is BDSSM different?

But you weren't even in the thread!

And she was saying you can't afford it mate which is a standard response to men who accost women.

I don't understand this at all.

OK laugh it off - say "you can't afford me mate" if that's what you want to say and you think that's funny (I personally don't) but why why why tag on the bit about BDSSM if you don't mean to get a dig in at those who do practice safe and not paid for BDSSM? You wouldn't do that if it was gay or lesbian sex, why do it for BDSSM?

Sanity said it so much better than me.

My sexual preferences were misrepresented that I must get paid for them. That's not true. Why can't I say that? Why is that so wrong for me to say in here that I get sarcy comments and shot down in flames?

She didn't mean it at all like you've taken it.

Yeah, she was only joking, luv.

Sheesh, can't you women ever take a joke?

With all due respect Frau, you've gotten the wrong end of the stick. Asaman was not only joking but it was a pithy response to the OP who was being goady. Her joking about taking money didn't in any way shape or form imply that you or anyone else did. In fact it would have been chronologically impossible for her to do that because you weren't on the thread at the time and she in all likelihood didn't know of your existence.

Of course your thoughts are welcome here. And yes there is a lot of navel gazing going on in FWR at the mo. Perhaps this is a perfect example of people taking offence where absolutely none is intended. Because I'm pretty sure that if you were to start a thread in FWR about your sexual proclivities noone would bat an eyelid because it sounds like it's all based on enthusiastic mutual consent which is like big warm happy blanket to us feminists.

Ok so I get that "you can't afford it mate" is generally a bit problematical but are period really saying that women and girls aren't allowed to say that to creepy men any more?

People always say we should laugh this stuff off and that's the only comment I can think of that is "standard" and leaves the women and girls laughing at the man.

Must we really watch our language when talking to creepy men so as not to offend people who aren't even there?

Xposts Frau

She wasn't saying that at all

She was saying you couldn't afford it mate which is a standard response to creepy men, with the heels balls bit because he clearly has some kind of thing about girls hitting boys that might well involve his right hand .

She didn't mean it at all like you've taken it.

When I was 12 I thumped a boy because he hurt me. He gave me a black eye. That learnt me.

Yonic and Seven, if someone had come on the thread and said something homophobic, say, that was unrelated to the OP, would it not be okay to challenge it? AsAMan said something that upset Frau. She drew attention to the fact that it was offensive to her that her sexual preferences were being misrepresented. Don't you think she has a right to point that out?

Well, every time BDSSM has been mentioned on threads on this site in the last week, it's been with an assumption that all those women who are involved are paid for it. I certainly am not. I drove 2 hours to an event last night. Paid for my own drinks all night. And drove home.

Had a lot of fun, but definitely didn't get paid for it.

Why is there an assumption that all those women (of any sexual bent) who are involved in BDSSM are getting paid for it?

I don't think it's offensive to say not all women in BDSSM are paid for it, but yes, the "you can't afford it" is offensive, in general.

I was no more impolite than Yonic was to me. I read asaman's post as a general comment on those who are involved in BDSSM and I defended my sexual orientation.

Asaman was making the standard joke that women make when men are creepy at them in a safe environment, you couldn't afford it mate.

Which is a comment that might bear some feminist discussion now I think about it :D but you are saying that you think it is offensive to a woman to imply she might be paid for sex, even if she's talking about herself? That's kind of offensive to women who are paid for sex though isn't it?

I'm a bit confused!

Never beaten up anyone.

I didn't mean it was asked at me specifically, I was making the general point that not all dominant women get paid for domming men.

Which is what I took from :

"Is this like a fetish thing OP?
Do you want me to put on some heels and step on your balls? Because I doubt you have that kind of money that's not what we do here."

IE - all those who "do" fetish "things" get paid for it.

Frau, it's okay. Stephen Fry is not God, and doesn't have all the answers!

FWIW, my take on "offence" is that I think that if say I am offended, it is not because I believe what you say should be illegal. It's that I would like you to consider what you have said, because it was impolite and it has upset me, and has made me think less of you.

Sorry for the derail.

OP, what are you trying to say? That women are bad, because you were beaten up by a girl at school? (So that one little girl was entirely representative of her sex?) Or are you trying to get together anecdata to "prove" that the nasty girls who beat boys up at school grow up to be feminists?

Aimed not asked.

Frau i don't understand your post. No one said anything to you about payment for anything. You weren't on the thread when asaman said that, she was talking to the op, who has posted this before and not explained why, hence some snippy answers to him.

Why do you think what she said was asked at you? It makes sense to me in the context of the thread as it stands.

And there's two current navel gazing threads wonder why people don't post in FWR. Am I only allowed to challenge the OP? If someone else on a thread posts something that I find offensive and is derogatory to my sexuality, I'm not supposed to challenge that, if they aren't the OP? Serious question, because I appear not to "get" the "rules" of this part of the site, and I have no desire to piss people off.

Yonic - I read the thread, came on and posted my thoughts, as well as answering what Asaman said. genuinely am I not allowed to answer with my thoughts on a thread?