Girls beating up boys

Well, Pah!

What's the Dorothy Parker quote?

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses"

I always feel like using the words of Inigo Montoya in that situation.

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

:o

Yup!

8in that the putdown makes no sense (iyswim)

I've had "well fuck off, four eyes" as a response (I wear glasses)

It's like how women are "sluts" when they don't have sex with MRAS.

Perceived flaw in attractiveness!

Ooh, interesting. Yes, when I've turned a guy down in a bar, I've had "well fuck off, four eyes" as a response (I wear glasses) - apparently the glasses didn't stop him approaching me but were a common enough flaw in attractiveness for him to pick on once i had said no.

Does everyone picture the banhammer as Mallett's Mallet?

"and I'd kind of like to stay"

Good to hear!

Another one pleased you're staying Frau and Jassy do stick around :)

BTW I reported creepy OP to MNHQ and he has been served with a big banhammer. I'm not sure if that is quite what he was after.

Also pleased you are staying Frau, and Jassy, please don't disappear back to lurkland.

Frau Well it was because your comment pissed me off, I thought you were trying to misinterpret my previous comment on purpose.
I'm not proud of my comments but basically I just meant to say "I'm aware" using a short acronym. So still not calling you a pro-domme.

I'm pleased you are going to stay, Frau.

But, thank you for saying you regret posting it. And I really don't want to keep something going. Because I am learning a lot on here, and feel that I might have something to contribute, and I'd kind of like to stay, in here, if that would be ok

Briar - it wasn't the pro domme comment just after I'd said that I was a dommethat pissed me off, to be honest, it was the "IKR" you posted after I defended Dommes and said I didn't get paid to domme men.

I don't get paid, I never have. And for you to say "I Know Right" just after I posted that, it came across as rude and dismissive and I took it as an implication, after I'd said I don't get paid, that you were saying I was lying and I did.

I have had a number of occasions, most of which were on this board, where the fact of my sexuality, the fact that I am a dominant woman who likes BDSSM was used to belittle me and put me down, and to outright say that I must be a pro domme who got paid for sex.

Frau Have the feminists here really suggested that if you're a dom, you must be a prostitute?

I wonder if you misunderstood one of the comments I made.
I'm very tired of pro-BDSM arguments in feminists discussion of violence against women. So when I saw that the Ghomeshi thread was turning that way, I "preemptively" wrote down some typical pro-BDSM comments as a way of getting over with so to speak. I was frustrated and I regret posting it. I was mansplained quite recently that BDSM was nonproblematic because sometimes women are paid to beat up men. Ridiculous, but actually a common comment. That is why I wrote "what about the pro-dommes." It had nothing to do with you.

AAM, I think we were talking entirely at cross purposes. I don't know where you got the idea that I was in any way interested in making the perv comfortable or not with phraseology. My interest in the phrase was about how women themselves internalise the idea that their bodies have a price, and how fucked up that is, and how maybe it's something we can talk about here. Not sure why it warranted an attack, to be honest, so I'll assume we misunderstood each other.

As I've made pretty clear, but it's worth saying again, if I were going to intervene in an on-the-street harassment situation I wouldn't be focusing on that phrase, I'd be focusing on making sure the woman was safe and the man knew he was scum.

But I was kind of hoping FWR was the sort of place we could talk about those sorts of phrases without being told to get a sense of humour or what have you. Might be time for my brief delirking to end.

Have just found this thread and having read through the 10 pages, it is a relief to see some sort of consensus emerging.

It's a no brainer to me. I could never image saying "you couldn't afford me" in any circumstances. It wouldn't enter my mind. I really hope it would not enter my daughter's mind.

I can see if someone has, as a child, accepted that language into their repertoire, and has never re-examined it as an adult, it can be perpetuated.

However here we are all being given the chance to examine a phrase which further embeds sexism and objectification of woman, and it is difficult to understand how its use can continue to be defended.

Several people have repeatedly given much better alternatives worth repeating : raise an eyebrow and say "yeah, like you're so sexy", "crawl back under your rock", "go home dad - you're drunk", putdowns in French (!), various looks and gestures, in particular biting the top off a banana. Obviously different situations will call for different responses.

< makes note to keep banana in bag at all times>

Sorry to return to the well used parallel, but would we think it was sensible for disabled people to repel shouts of "spastic!" from trolls on the street with "not spastic enough to talk to you"?

So, I'm guessing that you, as a grown woman on an Internet forum, will think twice before using it again.

It was 1am I have 3 children 3 and under. I have one who is a milk monster. It wasn't my best or my most feminist admit it was a little bit funny though. I won't use it again. I will from now on only use "Go home Dad you're drunk" due to Fuck off being a banning risk.

frau It was literally nothing to do with judging BDSM it was just because that's where the OP was going with it. Like Yonic said about blowjob behind bike sheds, I'd have made the same response. We have one long time regular who is quite open about her sexuality and it can be described as un"vanilla" (hate that term) as possible. I don't think anyone has given her any grief (not that she'd let them...) on FWR

Aye!

I say Aye.

AsAMan, I should have responded directly to you sooner. I was, and still am, struggling to put my thoughts into words in a way that won't come across as a personal attack. Which I don't want to do.

I understand that you didn't mean to offend me, and I get that your comment was "off the cuff" as it were, but at the same time, I have had a number of occasions, most of which were on this board, where the fact of my sexuality, the fact that I am a dominant woman who likes BDSSM was used to belittle me and put me down, and to outright say that I must be a pro domme who got paid for sex. And I reacted to your comment as a result of that.

I appreciate that you didn't mean it like that, and I appreciate that you have said you understand why the insult is problematic.

I am not sure whether I fit in FWR and am not sure that I will engage on this board any more. Much to think about for me.

Lots of typing on MN is pretty off the cuff. If you think someone has posted somewhere you enjoy going in order to get some stories for his wanking pleasure, but you aren't allowed by talk board rules to tell him to fuck off (which of course you can in real life, if you feel safe to do so) then I doubt many people would draft and consider their response at length!

Shall we adopt "go home dad, you're drunk" as the wank troll put down for the future? All those in favour, say Aye.