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Original poster

Feeling uncomfortable with traditional fairy stories

44 replies

Poofus · 29/10/2014 11:54

My DS has just turned 3. He has finally given up breastfeeding so we've instituted an extra story before bed instead, and I've bought two "special" big books of traditional fairy stories which we use for this. I was really looking forward to him learning all the traditional tales, but my god they are overwhelmingly and depressingly sexist! Especially in their abbreviated versions for small children, which lose quite a bit of the nuance anyway.

I'd previously made a real effort to ensure his books were gender neutral, and had renamed a few characters as "she" when obvious instances of sexism arose (Dear Zoo, anyone? Brave Firemen?). But it's a lot harder to do that with traditional tales, without mangling the story beyond recognition. Does anyone have any suggestions for fairy stories which aren't full of princesses waited to be married, or men doing fighty things and rescuing damsels? Or do I just give up on these and go back to modern stuff?

OP posts:
halfdrunkcoffee · 29/10/2014 12:40

I have a book called Politically Correct Bedtime Stories - aimed at adults but could be adapted for children.

You could just ad lib and adapt the endings now and again, I suppose.

tywysogesgymraeg · 29/10/2014 12:39

The Hare and the Tortoise and other non-people stories would be a better idea OP. The Emperor's New Clothes is another one that springs to mind, as does Pinochio. I could probably think of loads more if put my mind to it.

Takver · 29/10/2014 12:37

Actually, the more I think about it, plenty of the traditional tales are really not that sexist - I think you've just got a dodgy book and need a different selection . . .

Takver · 29/10/2014 12:35

The Enormous Turnip is another good one!

Takver · 29/10/2014 12:29

Could you stick with a mix of harmless traditional tales (Magic Porridge Pot, Stone Soup, Three Little Pigs and the like) and new books for bedtime right now, and keep the more dodgy ones for a bit older when you can discuss them a bit more?

Original poster
Poofus · 29/10/2014 12:23

Little Red Hen has a good moral, but it's so dull!

OP posts:
Original poster
Poofus · 29/10/2014 12:22

Revolting Rhymes is a great idea! It kind of relies in knowing the originals first though.

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LeBearPolar · 29/10/2014 12:22

Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes is a good place to start. But I think you can enjoy telling him the stories as part of a wider experience of reading with him - after all, they won't be the only things you read to him. Mix them in with lots of other stories from other cultures and other eras so that he absorbs the rich world of stories there is out there. And look for a whole variety of traditional tales: not just the really familiar ones. The Little Red Hen may do all the work, but she gets all the reward for that.

Original poster
Poofus · 29/10/2014 12:21

Sorry, sleeping beauty about personal space, not Snow White. Still don't get it though - does she not get woken up in your version?!

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Original poster
Poofus · 29/10/2014 12:20

I like the sound of some of your re-writes! How on earth do you get Snow White to be about personal space, though? Grin

And any suggestions for Rapunzel, the Mouse Bridegroom or Beauty and the Beast (current favourites)?

OP posts:
Mitchy1nge · 29/10/2014 12:18

'revolting rhymes'

Mitchy1nge · 29/10/2014 12:17

Roald Dahl's take on some of these was very popular with my children

worldgonecrazy · 29/10/2014 12:16

I just rewrote them for DD - Red Riding Hood has to kill the wolf herself as the woodsman got scared and ran off, so she ends up with a new fur coat. You may prefer a softer rewrite. For Cinderella I made it into a story about two people who believe in hard work finding each other. The Three Bears is about treating other people's things with respect, Sleeping Beauty about personal space and why we shouldn't kiss another person if they don't want us to. Princess and the Pea is about being a polite guest, etc.

Have fun with it.

Original poster
Poofus · 29/10/2014 12:16

Yes, I think my problem is that I love the traditional stories, as a fascinating historical sort of source, and I love the idea that children have been hearing these same stories for centuries. I feel the same about all sorts of folk songs - it's the sense of historical continuity that I like. All of which would be fine if DS was old enough to discuss them with me, but of course he's not, so he just absorbs the whole princess=useless and man=hero bit. Which seems nuts after going to great lengths to avoid that kind of influence over the past there years...

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Oakmaiden · 29/10/2014 12:12

The problem with fairy tales is that the are a window onto an oral tradition of a society with values very different from ours. They were to a great extent used as teaching tales to show members of that society how they were supposed to behave, and the consequences of stepping out of line (the original versions of Red Riding Hood and Sleeping Beauty are hair raising). So if you are looking for stories which reflect and encourage today's values, the I really would step away from fairy tales, at least until your child is old enough to discuss them.

Cherrypi · 29/10/2014 12:09

I has this the other day when reading snow white. What a dodgy story.

Zazzles007 · 29/10/2014 12:06

How about using your imagination to change the story so that it is a bit more feministy? Eg princess rescues the prince, valiantly fighting an army to get to him, the royal parents are overjoyed, and they all live happily ever after? At his age he can't read, and won't know... Grin

Or how about the princess kissing the frog... who turns into a goat, who then turns into a bat, and who then turns into her beloved dog who ran away when the nasty neighbour had fireworks. And they lived happily ever after... Grin

HTH

Original poster
Poofus · 29/10/2014 12:05

I suspect so, sadly!

OP posts:
Mitchy1nge · 29/10/2014 11:58

is he still a bit young for Angela Carter then? Grin

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