Reported workmen harassing women - it was taken seriously...

"Patriarchy really does a number on us doesn't it?"

I don't think it is fair to say that given you have reported it to a man who then complained to another man and it is all being dealt with, with a man coming to apologise in person. Deep down you don't believe it is okay. Next time someone does this you should be able to stand up immediately as the world does not end when someone is pulled up on their bad behaviour.

'I work in construction and these things are taken very seriously now'

That's really good to hear purple

I work in construction and these things are taken very seriously now, and is normally a sackable offence (at least for the larger contractors). I've only known of one compalint that didn't lead to being sacked as the builder was 16 as was the girl and eveyone agreed (her included) that he had walked up to her and asked her out, as opposed to shouting etc. Once they knew the full story, her parents asked for him not to be sacked for it, so he got a warning instead.

Everyone should complain if it happens.

'Also I'm sure they would have listened to you as well, let's not inset possible sexism into things when there's enough already'

You can't possibly be sure of that fluffling. I hope it would be the case but you can't be sure of it.

The writer Bidisha had first hand experience of this kind of minimising some time ago. She was walking down the street when a man yelled 'slag!' at her. She was shaken up and furious about this so she shared the story with a few people she knew - all of them thought she should get over it basically

However, she made the point that if the man had shouted 'Paki!' at her instead, not a single person would have told her to get over it and all would have been horrified on her behalf. Why should sexual harassment be taken any less seriously than racial harassment? Women like you, OP, are helping to change this with your small but incredibly important acts.

Many people, men and women, avoid confrontation

YY to this. Although I completely agree that this form of intimidation is usually male to female, I have witnessed some hideous overtly-sexualised and aggressive behaviour from women to men. I think most people find this type of intimidation (esp. when it's sexual) hard to deal with, as it's claimed to be 'just a laugh'.

Well done for reporting it.

I think it's hard to speak up about things like this, not just because we've been socialised not to, but also because we like to believe the men around us (our brothers, DHs, dads, friends) are "not like that." In fact, believing that misogyny is "out there" rather than right next to us, living with us, is the only way to keep positive about the world we live in. And yet, it's often when we mention these sorts of things to the men around us that we realise they are misogynistic on some level, they don't "get it," they will dismiss our experiences. And that, in many ways, is more disappointing and more disheartening than the original experience.

So, when you're gearing up to speak up to a man about something like this, you are facing into the very real possibility that he'll shrug and tell you you're overreacting, and that you will be forced to face the face the fact that he doesn't value your feelings - that he considers the right of a scaffolder to shout at people in the street more important than your sense of safety and dignity.

Luckily your lovely DP did get it, as did the roofer. It was an excellent result for you and I hope you draw courage from it.

I have never forgotten how a team of builders made me feel at 18 years old with nothing more than a 'Hello gorgeous, have you got a boyfriend? You've got great legs.' I felt awful, I was afraid, I felt intimidated. It doesn't have to be rude or aggressive to intimidate. If you're sure this is what they were doing OP then I am glad you reported them. It's not acceptable and women shouldn't be subjected to it.

OP, well done. Don't be hard on yourself. Many people, men and women, avoid confrontation. You pushed on through and acted positively. A lot of men would walk away from this situation too, and I don't think we'd necessarily blame that on conditioning.

Also, there can be a certain disposition towards negativity here, at times. Be happy that you achieved something. Be happy that some men see fit to take your discomfort seriously. Small victories and all that

I'm just pointing out she didn't actually hear anything. If she heard them being offensive of course she should report them,but in these circumstances I wouldn't have because I wouldn't be able to pin point my upset.

Hopefully if they were in the wrong the women who were shouted at reported them too to give a clearer picture of what went on.

Male dp not make dp!

Hate autocorrect!

Good work OP, be proud of yourself. I'm so glad that the company are taking it seriously. Go easy on yourself - as women, we're conditioned to doubt ourselves especially when it comes to emotional responses. And its not so very long ago that everyone probably would have told you to get over yourself for having a problem with this.

But think about your DP's response, the response from the company and most of the responses you have had on this thread. You were right to trust your gut and well done for acting on it.

So they listened when your make dp rang and complained.

I must admit I was surprised it was taken seriously, immediately, by so many groups of people!

Maybe I am being overly negative or cynical with that though.

well done for saying something, and well done DH for contacting the company. I think I would have been shaking too.

I hate to tar an entire industry with the same brush, but I've found scaffolders to be the absolute worst at this kind of thing, they appear to be completely unreconstructed neanderthals. I hate hate hate walking past them. I really hope this lot get the absolute bollocking they deserve. It's probably too much to expect the roofing company to stop using them, but hopefully they can accept that they need to make it crystal clear to anyone they subcontract work to that this kind of think will not be tolerated.

PMSL that they might have been asking for directions or the time. Yeah, right.

Good for you for reporting it - it's utterly childish but very intimidating behaviour. I'm glad it's been taken seriously.

You have done a good thing.

And I know exactly what you mean. We are strongly conditioned to ignore, overlook or minimise this type of behaviour (and worse) and it is incredibly hard to overcome that.

I expect because you don't want to relive how you felt as you walked into your house shaking and feeling vunerable.

Our responses often help us minimise something horrible that has happened to us - I'm sure the other women they embarrassed today will also do their best to shake it off and not let it get to them, but why the hell should they or you have to.

You've done a good thing.

Well done. You made a difference.