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Original poster

Discussion with female friend re Ched

187 replies

HenriettaTurkey · 26/10/2014 10:53

So I posted an article on fb, with a link to an article on Ched Evans and the myth of male sexuality.

With it I wrote 'it's very simple. If she's drunk and you have sex with her, it's rape. That's the law'.

Several friends responded positively, saying such things as 'if in doubt assume the answer's no', 'it would be easier to move on if he at least acknowledged his act' etc

Then a female friend came on and, through various posts said I was being ridiculous as this meant that no-one could ever have a drink and have sex again.

After banging my head against the wall I realised you lovely folk would be able to help me construct a coherent response that doesn't rely on my usual, possibly unhelpful, sarcasm.

Help!

OP posts:
Original poster
HenriettaTurkey · 27/10/2014 10:20

Puppies? Nah...survival of the fittest, I reckon!

Kittens, however... Grin

OP posts:
BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 27/10/2014 10:20

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Original poster
HenriettaTurkey · 27/10/2014 10:19

Smash - the myth reference was simply the headline of the article I posted (huffington post: Ched Evans and the myth about male sexuality). Not my term.

Beyond - I don't think buffy was referring to you: don't panic!

OP posts:
heartisaspade · 27/10/2014 10:19

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smashboxmashbox · 27/10/2014 10:18

Because, Beyond, we are commenting about the Ched Evans case, and one of the men involved was found not guilty in a court of law.

heartisaspade · 27/10/2014 10:18

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BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 27/10/2014 10:17

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heartisaspade · 27/10/2014 10:17

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Original poster
HenriettaTurkey · 27/10/2014 10:15

Yup that's right, beyond! And as you'll see...I'm not one to comment on Gaza on fb; I just happen to have a different perspective to hers. In general, I don't comment on controversial topics on FB at all. Hence why I came on here for advice re: Ched - it's all a bit new to me!

Also, in the interests of full disclosure, my DH is from Jewish ancestry, albeit down the male line, so fairly sure I'm not antisemitic. HTH.

Any more red herrings need clarifying just let me know!

OP posts:
BeyondPreparedForHell · 27/10/2014 10:14

Smash, its the name of a huffpo article m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/6030676

Why would you get mn in trouble sharing your personal opinion on whether rape due to feeling threatened would have been a different case to rape after alcohol? Hmm

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 27/10/2014 10:13

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BeyondPreparedForHell · 27/10/2014 10:13

Oh god, i was not agreeing hen is antisemetic! Just that her friend may have extreme opposing views because she is in a different (to use the analogy used elsewhere) "gang"

I'll just get my coat!!

smashboxmashbox · 27/10/2014 10:12

I'd also still like to know what you meant, OP, by "the myth of male sexuality"?

BeyondPreparedForHell · 27/10/2014 10:10

Heart, perhaps the other person has shared their views on their wall. OP disagrees with them, but did not say this?

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 27/10/2014 10:09

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BeyondPreparedForHell · 27/10/2014 10:09

Assuming op is who i think she is, and there arent two mners having this exact debate on their fbs (!), her friend does appear to be in Israel? That right hen? (Feel like a bit of a weird fb stalker now!)

Still disagree about her statement being wrong though, if you use drunk in its dictionary meaning. Its people interpreting drunk as a glass of wine who are wrong. Technically Wink

heartisaspade · 27/10/2014 10:08

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Original poster
HenriettaTurkey · 27/10/2014 10:07

Heart, no that's wrong: I've never posted about Israel/Gaza on fb, or anywhere else.

Usually I post about tennis, or my toddler. It's a thrilling read. Smile

OP posts:
smashboxmashbox · 27/10/2014 10:07

All I initially came on to say was that the op's "it's simple if you have sex with her when she's drunk it's rape" was legally incorrect.

If you're going to go down the "i felt threatened" argument then you're going down a whole different route and I'm not going to speculate on an open forum about that, purely and simply because I have no desire to land Mumsnet in legal hot water.

scallopsrgreat · 27/10/2014 10:07

And yy to Seven and Buffy - that is exactly what I was getting at.

scallopsrgreat · 27/10/2014 10:06

That is just completely made up heartisaspade. The OP has confirmed that despite more nuanced and articulate posts by other friends this friend is still getting embroiled in "what is technically drunk" as if men can't understand that.

If "i really want to have sex with you" sounds ike "ireellawannavsxwiyou" thats a big clue to wait til the morning Well exactly!

Ched Evans knew he didn't have consent. He just didn't care.

heartisaspade · 27/10/2014 09:55

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BeyondPreparedForHell · 27/10/2014 09:55

If "i really want to have sex with you" sounds like "ireellawannavsxwiyou" thats a big clue to wait til the morning :)

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 27/10/2014 09:49

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BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 27/10/2014 09:42

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