Female body hair / husband- help?

i read it more as just something the OP is trying it out, seeing how she feels, thinking about how we are socialised regarding ideas of femininity. i don't see it as the OP deliberately making herself uncomfortable because otherwise she wouldn't be a proper feminist

it would be nice if her DH could be supportive of her exploring this

Here it is!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1172872-Resisting-femininity-experiment-whos-in

Of course it's a feminist issue. Maybe not the most significant one if the world, but feminist nonetheless.

I guess the thing that's making me uncomfortable is that the OP feels she has a duty to do this for the feminist cause - to take one for the team - when neither she nor her partner is totally happy with it.

OP, there's a thread on FWR from earlier this year where a number of regulars went without shaving. Try a search?

"Doesn't a woman have the right to remove her body hair without being snarled at for wanting to be hair free?! I just don't get it"

Who is snarling?

"You don't like being hairy but feel you need to be to prove your a feminist?"

OP didn't say this.

The OP is behind her own choices, FFS. Many times we can decide to do what we have objectively decided is the right thing even whilst we feel emotionally uncomfortable with it.

You don't like being hairy but feel you need to be to prove your a feminist?

Your husband isn't ignorant he's just voicing his opinion.

I hate having hairy pits and shins so choose to shave, it doesn't make me ignorant or stop me being a feminist.

You need to get behind your own choices, before you expect anyone else (your husband) to do so.

You're right fakebook.

You just don't get it.

Being hairy doesn't make you feel comfortable, yet you're forcing yourself to do it? How utterly and completely daft.

Body hair isn't a feminist issue. Feminists have made it into a feminist issue. Women have removed hair for centuries. Some cultures and religions promote hair removal for both men and women.

If you feel comfortable hairy, then be hairy. But if you're uncomfortable why would you force yourself?! Most men would have grown up seeing unhairy women, yet many are still in loving relationships and don't mind hairy legs/body.

I thought feminism was about having your own choices and doing things you want to do as a woman? Doesn't a woman have the right to remove her body hair without being snarled at for wanting to be hair free?! I just don't get it.

Look, we are all conditioned by what we see around us - you and he aren't excluded. If he could see a picture of you now as you'll look when you are 80, he probably wouldn't ".fancy" you in that picture either, but as he and you grow old together, I hope he does fancy you then!

If it's important to you then I think you both need to give it some time. How long has it been?

I totally understand where you are coming from, OP, but at the same time I wonder whether the issue is important enough to make you and your DH uncomfortable over. It's a bit catch 22 I guess, because if everyone did it it wouldn't be an issue, but by sticking your head over the parapet, as it were, you're making both of you unhappy. I guess the question is what's more important to you: a feminist principle or your comfort with your own body, sex life and relationship. I'm sounding very down on the idea, and I'm not really - if you genuinely wanted this for yourself I would take a different view.

Blueberry:

Do more women than men shave their armpits?
Do more women than men shave their legs?
Do more women than men remove (remove, not trim) some or all of their pubic hair?

The answer to all the above is yes. So removal of body hair is a feminist issue.

Facial hair: well, beards and moustaches are socially acceptable, if uncommon, on men. Facial hair on women: not so much.

Eh if he'll listen to a sensible man but not to you then you have more problems than body hair!

Just read your last post. Sorry so you don't even like being hairy, yet you're forcing yourself to like it to prove a point.. Isn't that just as bad as shaving to fit in?!

I ask dh to shave his facial hair because I don't particularly like kissing him with facial hair. I also suggested he "tidied up" a little of his pubic hair as I didn't want a mouth full of pubes when giving him oral sex. Surely it is no different for him to ask the same of me?

I agree if you really don't want to shave your bodily hair then that is entirely your prerogative. I just personally don't see how it's aimed solely at women - loads of men feel pressures to groom too.

Sorry I don't know any articles specifically about that but this is regarding bikini line and fanjo hair. Not sure if it is relevant to you or not.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/physician-calls-for-an-end-to-bikini-waxing-8008628.html?origin=internalSearch

Ok, is it simply unfamiliar? As in, if you dyed your (head) hair or swapped glasses for contacts, he'd get a jolt every time he looked at you for a while but over time would readjust his mental picture?

why are people talking about whether it is feminist or not to remove hair? it doesn't matter - the OP has decided not to remove hair right now, and that's fine

When dh fancies a beard he just grows one. NO one cares or looks at him or comments.

OP some people will refuse to think anything is a feminist issue and pretend men sometimes shaving their beards (but not being shamed in to doing so) is the exact same thing as women basically being expected to alopecia form the eye balls down.

You have a right to shave or not shave. Your partner does have a right to not like it. He is socialized the same as everyone else so women with body hair might be a turn off.

However he does not have a right to comment or make you feel bad about yourself.

You haven't taken on anti social habit like smoking or done something totally unhealthy which he might have legitimate concerns about. He's saying he is embarrassed of you. Are you there to make him feel good about himself? Arm candy?

Have you asked him how he thinks he making you feel? What does he think he is teaching your daughters or sons about women's bodies? That they are there for show and for men's consumption.

If you want to be hairy or as bald as a baby's bottom it is your choice and he is being a twat to make it about him.

I want my DH to shave his face. I hate the look and feel of it when he let's it grow.
He prefers to be clean shaven too.

I shave my legs because I prefer it that way, it feels better. He prefers it too.

I understand that there is a society pressure for women to shave, but there is on men too (just their face though), but there's also good reasons why people choose to shave, and if they do, that doesn't make them anti feminist.

I think my first question to him would be why doesn't he shave/ wax/ epliate etc, and why that might be. Why it's acceptable withing our society for me to have body hair, but not women. Why do women have to a) spend time and effort removing body hair, when men don't and b) remove so much body hair that they start looking pre-pubescent. Start from the POV that you're doing this in a spirit of honest enquiry, because you are, if you make him think, then he might be able to jolt himself out of the socialisation he's experienced.

No one notices other people's body hair when they're swimming. No one cares. So he doesn't need to worry about that, whether he finds you attractive or not is up to him. It's how you feel about yourself anf your body that matters here.

Women removing all or some of their body hair is a societal expectation, it is basically sexist. Remove or don't remove your body hair, but at least you have acknowledged that it's not a free choice.