Amal Alamuddin has changed her name professionally

my feeling is that the US political plans may be very relevant

I had not thought about this in the context of this thread, but there may be something to this. There have been musings for years that Clooney might run for office. When Hillary Clinton married Bill, she did not change her name. It was several years later that she did because of concerns that her feminist persona was hurting Bill politically. Of course, this was many years ago and it was Arkansas and George would be likely to run in the much more liberal California. But I think that it could still be a factor; he would not gain many votes by Amal taking an obviously feminist stance, but he could well lose some of the more conservative votes he might otherwise get.

As an aside, I remember in the 1992 presidential campaign, you never heard Hillary's maiden name mentioned at all (and in the US it is customary for women who take their husband's name to use their maiden name as their middle name). Then on the night before the inauguration at the presidential gala, she was introduced as Hillary Rodham Clinton. You could almost see her thinking "ok, I've compromised to help get us here, but now I want my name back." I wish she would run now as Hillary Rodham, but that would be political suicide, I think.

Oh really? Haven't come across her before!

Would just like to say how struck I am by the eloquence and grace/dignity in argument of Buffy, Ehric & Voyager.

Have been following the thread closely as feminism is an area I feel v. strongly about. SO agree about how hard it is to always make the 'right' choices given the way the patriarchy is stacked against us. No one on this thread seems to be claiming 'feminist perfection'. I hold my hands up and confess I have botox regularly.

But if we can't debate these broader things then things will never change. I sincerely hope that the more we discuss and question the way our society is structured the more things will gently shift towards a fairer world.

And FWIW, Bonsoir, yes I DO think equality is an extremely big deal and should be the bedrock of any civilised society. Equality in its broadest sense, not just for gender.

I'm not sure about the suggestion that all newly married couples should choose a new name. Partly because it would still create the problem of making it harder to trace who someone used to be (for people in professions where that's important), and partly because not everyone sees marriage in quite that starry-eyed, 'everything is different now' way.

I appreciate it would be less patriarchal than the current situation, but I think there are better answers.

NOT rtft

I agree not every choice is a feminist choice. But I don't think feminism is about the ball busting of individual female's choices. Especially when those choices are a part of a long standing tradition that if you break with you are making a statement. It's like I think it would be unfair to say "lena Dunham shaves her legs and is therefore stupid and coerced". We're all just trying to poodle along, and dismantle the patriarchy in our own way.

I think this sort of thing and some articles I've read are quite offensive and I sure as hell don't think she is stupid or coerced by George Clooney . A non specific thread about married names would be fine.

It's the uncompromisingness I like.

Borg Queen: We are Borg.
Seven of Nine: I am an individual!
Borg Queen: You're only repeating their words. You sound like a mindless automaton.

The Doctor: You're a woman, Seven.
Seven of Nine: Is that an observation or a diagnosis?

Tomin: Heeey. Why don't we go back to my quarters? I studied Human mating rituals.
Seven of Nine: Remove your hand or I will remove your arm!

Aaaahh :)

If I got married to the actor I fancy I'd certainly change my name- to
Mrs Fuck Yeah Richard Armitage.

i haven't yet qualified for committee meeting attendance. i have to wait for the minutes to tell me how to do feminism and who i should be shunning

I'm unable to see being compared to the Borg as as bad thing! I love the Borg.

"implies that there really is some sort of Borg-esque sisterhood that has monthly committee meetings to judge women's behaviour"

Are you saying that this isn't what happens here in FWR, Buffy? I thought that our board was the political epicentre that ruled the world. So very disappointed

why would it not be acceptable?

Actually most of my post was a genuine question. If I actively chose to change my name is this acceptable?

"So those of us who changed our names haven't seen the light yet"

No, only 50% of you! because if we lived in a truly equal society where free choice was just that, free, we would see roughly half of women changing their surnames and half of men changing their's upon marriage.

But when something that is apparently a free choice always seems to go in one direction not the other AND there's a dodgy back story (such as the daughter being handed over as property from father to husband) then the feminist antenna goes up.

So, to summarise, it's not to say that you definitely made a non-free choice but that there is a 1 in 2 chance that you did.

And it's certainly not patronising (or intended to be) to say that, because we ALL make non-free choices ALL the time. Hell, today I shaved my legs and put on eye makeup and lipstick. In MessyUtopia there would be no need for such frivolities but I live in this world and I've been brought up to see this behaviour as normal. And, it makes life easier.

Hate the game, not the players.

Would it have been ok for her to change her name if she wasn't a high flyer then

Perhaps she just likes having the same name as her husband I can't understand why that means she is stupid or was coerced. I think that's a patronising thing to say.

Ive lived in countries where women keep their own surnames and i actually prefer to have the same name as the rest of my family. It's much more practical. However, I think a nice new family name is much better than 'taking' (yuk) the mans name. I think every newly married should come up with a nice new original name.

'I'm far from thinking I've got to the end of it - scales still fall from my eyes quite regularly, I still take new steps in realising where I've internalised inequality'

Same here - its enlightening and depressing at the same time!

I agree about lightbulb moments. A friend of mine was fully committed to changing her name when she got married, then she thought about it for a while and listened to some arguments (including mine) about why she should keep her own name, and had a 'WTF am I doing?' moment. She decided to keep her own name and feels really good about the decision.