Amal Alamuddin has changed her name professionally

i don't think there's any question of anyone being less of a woman

Taking your husbands name makes you no more or less of a woman. I choose to take my husbands name but it in no way means I'm less than him or that he gets top billing in our relationship. It was MY choice and for me it showed our status as a family unit ourselves rather than being seperate. Just because its not your choice OP does not make it wrong or make the women who make that choice stupid or oppressed.

yes, but what i'm getting at is how did that become "tradition" in the uk? and is "tradition" a good enough reason? it is ok to question these things

i don't see women moving away from that as a natural evolution - women have fought long and hard for changes and real choice and they don't have that choice free of external influence yet

Petula, like I said it's traditional. That's reason for a lot of things. It's traditional for the man to propose, it's traditional to send cards at Christmas etc

Of course that's not always the way it goes these days, but things change slowly over time. In 50years maybe it won't be so common for women to take their husbands name, that's just how things evolve IMO.
Of course these "choices" aren't made in a vacuum but are influenced by upbringing, culture, society and tradition. That doesn't make the choice wrong, stupid or anti-feminist.

I agree with you Buffy, re the whole symbolic aspect to this. There is an aspect that dates back to women being acquired by men rather than entering an equal relationship, and that is worth questioning. How do you feel about what the OP said re stupidity and coercion? Should people use terms like this?

when so many women make this "individual choice" and so many men don't, it's obvious that it is more than a choice made in a vacuum

whether someone sees that as a problem or not is another question, but i don't see the issue with acknowledging the fact

when you take the history of ownership into account, regardless of whether individual marriages now are based on that premise or not, it is a hangover from that time

some people will see that as a signifier of inequality on a societal level, others won't. i certainly do - while many marriages are "equal", there are an enormous number where that concept of ownership is ingrained and the recognition of personhood of women in our society is fragile at best. so it is something worth discussing

"Yonic, probably because that's not what people do!!!! Like it or not, traditionally the husbands name becomes the family name"

why do you think that is?

Yonic, probably because that's not what people do!!!! Like it or not, traditionally the husbands name becomes the family name.
Why is this such a huge issue?
People are free to choose whether or not to change their name, combine their name, make up a new one.

I never understand the fuss over this, if you get married and you don't want to change your name, that's grand. If you do, that's grand too.
No-one else's business.

Maybe in the future traditions will change and the majority of women won't change their name or more families will take the wife's name or double barrel, but maybe it will just be this way and so what?

Yy showme. I've also seen lots of comments on similar discussions that women took their husband's surname so she would share her name with the kids; its just assumed children will have their father's surname.

I don't think people do automatically think that a woman will take her husband's name. No one assumed I would. People asked if I would. And I don't think it matters what a name changed symbolised in days gone by. Symbols change their meaning, and this is an example of this. And even in the old days it was normal for a man to take his wife's name if she came from a higher status family. So name changing symbolised cultural values of social status as well.

profanity I too am known internationally in my field. But all that recognition actually came after my marriage and thus is in my married name. I didn't have a problem with changing my name, I went from one dull one syllable very common surname to a dull one syllable but unusual surname. I like my husband, I'm glad we have the same name. I'm the one who's made it well known in a niche professional field, so I don't regard it as his name but ours. As for Mrs Clooney - why not. It's her choice. Its not like nobody will know who she is.

That's kind of what I think showme
I know lots of women who didn't change their name. I don't know any that gave their children mum's name rather than dad's.

I think for Amal, changing her name was a free choice though. No one would have batted an eye if she hadn't. Lots of woman in the public eye don't change their names.

All the marriage of convenience for his political career conspracists will love this as they predicted she would change her name as part of a 'deal' to make a power couple of them to further his chances

I wouldn't have wanted to change from my previous identity either if I didn't associate my old name with bad memories. I did think long and hard about it, as it pretty much went against my own principles.

In strange way I'm weirdly grateful for the social norm that meant it was unremarkable, expected in fact, that I change my name. If I'd been male I'd either have been stuck with my old identity or I'd have had to change it by deed poll which would have had loads of people questioning why I'd done it. As a woman I could quietly slip off into the new me and no one thought twice about it.

Is changing your name really a free choice in a society where many people automatically assume women will change their name? Where its always the women doing the choosing, and the possibility of name changing would never occur to most men?

(I don't have a problem with individual women changeing their names. But the decision isn't made in a cultural vacuum)

I find this debate fascinating.
Those of you who didn't change their name when you got married, what name do your children have?

And treaclesoda choice is what I think of name changes. It's a change of identity she is seeking. She wants to do away with her past. I don't. (And it's the norm for my culture). That's why I kept my name.

Bridget, why do you think that none of the husbands took the names of their wives?