Amal Alamuddin has changed her name professionally

I don't think she owes the "sisterhood" anything, particularly when that same sisterhood is prepared to label her as stupid etc.

I am internationally known/recognised in my field and at my level of seniority 90% of my colleagues are male. The majority of women in my position have kept their maiden name as their professional name, quite frankly because it made good business sense. When women who work for me have got married, i haven't made it my business to judge them on whether or not they change their names. I should say dfil was shocked when I kept my name. It doesn't make him a bad person, he is a man I love dearly and he got over it.

At home I am known by my married name. If people want to interpret that as dh being seen as the head of the family, that's actually not my problem. Most people who know what I do professionally recognise my status and just can't imagine me being subservient to dh. Those who don't know what I do see my relationship as that of two equals and just treat us as they see it.

she certainly looks as though she is enjoying herself in the limited images i have seen. i hope that that's genuinely the case because all that attention is a tough thing to handle for the rest of your life if not

With regard to a women 'owning' her name. My mum had been married to my dad and had his surname for more than half her life so it seems a natural choice that she 'kept' this name when she divorced.

I was brought up with the name, as were my siblings. Despite having no contact with my father this is now 'my' name and unless something drastic happens (gun to my head etc) I will never take someone else's name. The only concession to that would be if me and dp agreed on a new name that we both changed to or both double-barrelled. My daughter has a double-barrelled surname combining both our names.

I do not think a woman who takes on her husband's name is stupid or coerced etc. I think it's just the done thing and is usually done without thought. And yes I do think think that Is a real shame. I do not believe you can really truly separate that from the idea of women as property to be owned.

To me it is a societal problem. If it were just as likely a man would take his wife's name as she to take his or them to double-barrel or invent a new name altogether then I would say women do really have choice. At the moment (actors aside) it is unusual to not take the man's name. The amount of comments we got for giving dd both our names, plus the assumption from many that she only had dp's name, showed me this.

What she has achieved in her career is extraordinary and entirely on her own merit. How sad that the OP seems to be fixated on what she has called herself and has labelled Amal as valuing her marital status over her career.

Nobody and nothing can take away her achievements as a global human rights lawyer. If her changing her name changes your opinion of that then it's you with the problem, not her.

PetulaGordino - I don't know whether the Clooney-Alamuddin show is serious or tongue-in-cheek. I hope it's at least partly the latter and that calling herself Mrs Clooney reflects a sense of humour. I hope the Venice weddingathon was also not entirely intended to be taken seriously...

why are you ducking londonrocks?

Who gives a shit? Alamuddin, Clooney, we all know who she is.

I don't get the excitement over this coupling. Person marries person. Wow.

Lotta people have said they are disappointed in her, that she must have been coerced, that she must be stupid! That in my view is not a very good feminist stand point although I guess my idea of feminism must be different to a lot of peoples on here.

Personally, if I were to marry which I doubt I will I would keep my surname, I wouldn't want to be a Mrs and I wouldn't wear a ring. That is my choice though and I am not disappointed by others who choose otherwise. Its bizarre!

but given that everyone knows she's married to him (as she hardly has a common name herself), I don't get what difference it makes that she's taken his name, she's not going to get anymore recognition as his wife.

A lot of men would love to shag, or even marry, Angelina Jolie or Scarlett Johansson. Yet they don't tend to moon around imagining themselves giving up their birth/professional identity to become Mr Jolie or Mr Johansson and imagining that would be some kind of improvement on their life. Why not? Doesn't that say something about how women who think that way see themselves?

do you think that's the basis of her decision bonsoir?

"A lot of woman would have relished the opportunity to call themselves Mrs Clooney."

Then they can change their name by deed poll to that.

I kept my name, the kids have DH's name.

The first was a more feminist choice than the second (not least because I didn't really think about the second)

Does anyone disagree with my assessment of my own choices?

A lot of woman would have relished the opportunity to call themselves Mrs Clooney.

Yes she has the right to choose to call herself anything she wishes, of course she does. And I have the right to feel disappointed by her choice, given the wider implications. She doesn't know me, and I'm not going to harass or troll or bother her about it. I am sure she does not give a monkeys what I think, but it's what I think.

puds, not a single person on here has asked just who she thinks she is and suggested that she should be ashamed of her decision. Of course it's her choice. But for some of us, that's not the end of the debate - it throws up all sorts of questions about marriage, gender equality/inequality, the reasons why people make decisions about relationships, identity, priorities. This would be a very dull place if every thread just consisted of 'oh well, her/his choice, mustn't judge'.

IT IS HER CHOICE! She has the right to choose and I cannot believe people are 'disappointed' in someone they don't know over THEIR choice.

She chose the name. Doesn't make her any less successful, intelligent or less of a person.

JEYSUS! This sort of shit makes me sick! We are supposed to be supporting peoples right to make a choice, not bullying them into doing what we think is right! You don't like it, boo hoo. You don't have to live with it.

I have not read the whole thread but I find this extremely disappointing. I try not to openly judge people, and keep my opinion to myself unless asked, but I very much disapprove the changing your name thing. Personally I did not considered it for a moment in either of my two marriages.

(When my MIL in my marriage said to me "oh that's OK you can be Dr X as your professional name and Mrs Y in your private life" I told her I am Dr X wherever I am, because that is my name. She never really liked me after that and first H told me years later that she was very unhappy with me about this attitude, which she fond in some way rejecting of her son).

I defend her right to call herself what she likes, and send out what message she likes. What I won't accept is that it isn't important or that it can be a feminist choice.

Plenty of women perpetuate sexism and inequality. I just hoped that a brilliant high-profile successful lawyer would be one of the ones not to. That she would be a feminist and help equality move forward. Hence, disappointed. I'm not saying women should be banned from behaving in ways that disappoint me. But I'm allowed to comment and argue that it's an anti-feminist act.

Petula, no, not contradictory then. Just judgemental, given that she cannot know the reasons behind any such decision. Clever people can make bad decisions (not saying this one is). It does not make them stupid.

Excellent post Voyager - sums up the main objections perfectly. Your example of how ridiculous it would be if black people had to take white partner's names is a great one

I must have misunderstood this ---> Successful women who change their names professionally always strike me as either stupid or coerced

Lots of reasons to do with the past, but the best thing for the future is for each family to make its own choice. So no Mrs Cockhead, for example . More men with womans name would be good, but it's not for us to criticise when it's the mans name that is the family name. Thats one option.

For me long clumsy double barelled names are a bit silly. But again, its a personally choice. Your children don't choose though so choose carefully

what I don't like about all this is the assumption by some that because she has fallen in love with and married a very high-profile man, she now shouldn't make decisions for herself, as the rest of us are free to do, she has to do so for all of womankind. And to me that is a very slippery slope - if she has a baby, would it be right for the breastfeeders of the world to tell her that she should bf her baby, otherwise she is doing women/babies/breastfeeding itself a disservice? I certainly hope not.

DH and I made the choices that were right for us. Frankly, naming the next generation is not our problem, or our business. DD (hyphenated surname) will make her own decisions.

There are lots of different ways it could ve done. If DH and I both had hyphenated surnames, we would have found a way to combine them into a manageable surname. We'd probably combine the halves of our names that sounded best, or have each used the name of the parent of the same sex (ie DDs surname would have been MyMumsSurname-HisDadsSurname.)