anyone seen this blog about being a mum of boys?

By hammer home I mean I never stop hearing about it, not that I agree AT ALL with GS.

Nothing much to add except you guys make me feel like I've come home! I find motherhood hammers home gender stereotypes more than I could ever have imagined.

My 2.7 yo DD loves sticks, diggers, princesses, pink, rough-and-tumble and quiet stories. She's just a human being!

That blog could have been written by my neighbour. Whenever DS acts out she says "it's because he's a boy". Really helpful thanks!

Her DD on the other hand is a complete "boy" in that she is very physical, climbs all over the sofas and loves DS's Nerf guns. She never seems to put 2 and 2 together and still believes that girls are the manipulative ones, often referring to her DD as a bitch!

It's an amazing amount of confirmation / selection bias and will no doubt lead to self-fulfilling prophecy, and so the cycle continues....

That blog is ducking depressing. Do people really think like that?

I have 2 boys and a girl. They are all individuals.

So harmful too, letting children get away with awful behaviour because certain behaviours are somehow innate to their sex (gender?) Wtf is it about weeing everywhere? It's a penis, not a sprinkler system. And the indulgent "boys will be boys" when they hurt other people. That really makes me .

Good response:

geekmom.com/2014/09/11-thing-parents-girls-will-understand/

That blogger is a loon.

So, I wasn't a proper girl? I've never been a giggler. Hate shopping, unless its for books. As a child I only wore dresses when required to for special occassions. No disney princesses. My barbies were pushed off cliffs then nursed back to health with nutella. Closest I came to tea parties was making mud pies. Much prefererred running around outside and exploring.

Are there really women who spent their entire childhood having tea parties, shopping for pretty dresses, and learning how to paint their nails? I thought it was a myth.

It infuriates me that strangers comment differently on DD (21 months) based on her clothes. If she's in a dress walking near the pram she's 'such a good girl helping mum do the shopping'. In jeans and her favourite dinosaur top she's 'spirited' 'adventurous' 'full of energy.' If she bolts away down the street wearing 'boys' clothes she gets indulgent smiles; dressed as a girl its all frowns and disapproval at how 'wild' she is.

People are delighted by her obsession with flowers, books, and kissing all her teddies, but don't want to know about her love of sticks, rocks, trucks, balls, dinosaurs and trains. Why do people feel the need to put children in boxes?

I hear this very often

'Boys wreck your house, but girls wreck your head'

Bloody annoying, but not new

What utter tripe.

And has the blogger never thought of just washing a dirty bath mat?

DS2 was into stones. Interesting stones. 1000s of bloody 'not quite as interesting as when they were wet' stones. And bugs. And tutus. He liked and nice dress as well. And a well stocked toy kitchen. Cars.

What I'm getting at is that he liked things. I know that I was maybe less prescriptive about what he played with, being a more gender neutral parent, but he just liked what he liked.

The bit about girls being manipulative was vile though. I wonder if she's met my mother? She comes out with stuff like that as well.

Reads strongly as if she really wanted daughters and is trying to get over her gender disappointment by going too far the other way and criticising girls.

Note how the "bad" things about boys on her list are minor and funny (pee on the bathroom floor and fart jokes) whereas the "good" things about boys on her list are huge (uncomplicated love and affection).

Basically she's trying to convince herself that having a girl would have been awful because the girl would have been stroppy and manipulative and thank god her boys aren't like that.

I just posted a massive rant about this when someone posted it on FB today. Got a defensive answer, but several people I've never met liked my rant.

Oh dear!
I have two DDs, one loves totally unconditionally, absolutely no strings attached.

The other is more measured, more inclined to hug you if she wants something. She lacks her big sisters deep self confidence, she tests you love her, because she needs to feel safe.

Ds1 not into sticks
Dd not into sticks
Ds2 really into sticks

Not sure what that proves but I do have a ginormous stick in the kitchen at the moment

Actually, I think that just proves that all children are different...dammit, I thought I was on to something there

Penguins your reason 1 resonates with me!

lol @ smarties for boys v girls

our shop has "gingerbread shapes" i was pleased to note

Oh god, that blog is terrible, i have three boys and i get sick of people saying 'oh they are such boys' 'well that is boys for you'

Shut up, shut up... SHUT UP!

I don't know. I really don't.

I guess I think because people who characterise their children so strongly really believe that they are observing something important about their child when they say these things. They have invested heavily in a gendered identity. And you saying 'oh, that's just a kid thing' therefore annoys them.

Also, I think that there is an element of "Oh, my boy takes silly risks on the climbing frame because he's a boy" (i.e. not my fault gov). So when I say I struggle with a girl, it becomes a personality/parenting issue.

Oh I hate that shite.

I'm mother to two boys. Or actually two people. Obviously I only know what it's like to parent those two individuals. I would have no more idea what a third boy would be like than a girl.

There are many reasons I hate that kind of blog. One of my children is an incredibly sensitive child, who loves crafts, imaginative play and "feels" everything incredibly deeply. By contrast, his brother is a whirlwind of energy and is very happy-go-lucky. He loves physical activities. Are those things really "boy" or "girl" traits or just human traits?

I just don't like the idea we put boys and girls into normative boxes and tell them that's how to be.

If a girl plays with a stick her womb falls out

Why do they look so pissed off do you think penguins?

WHY?

It's so weird.

lol @ sticks being a highly gendered toy

what happens if a girl plays with a stick? is it a phallic issue? lol