Manshake

Oops. Thought this was in _chat.

How about this, between Kryten and the gelf?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=P-wflY-PVkA

in business contexts I do tend to stick my hand out first precisely to get over that awkwardness

Me too, Petula. There is nothing more awkward in business than the other person (male or female) standing there thinking "Do I shake hands or not?" While they are having that thought, I stick my hand out for the shake, and usually they look relieved. The other thing is that, on a psychological level, handshaking in a business context means that you have physically connected with that person, and because you have physically connected with them, it will strengthen any psychological connection you have with them in a discussion (provided the meeting goes well, of course). Then once you shake their hands at the conclusion of the meeting, you are strengthening that connection yet again.

In more personal interactions with family and friends, I tend to hug people, with/without a kiss on the cheek. I would only shake the hands of men I was in the process of forming a friendship with, accompanied with a wide smile and happy demeanor. If an acquaintance did the the whole crushing handshake thing, I would think "Yuck, how quickly can I get away from this dick? I wonder if he does this to other people?" It is a show of dominance, and it speaks to the insecurity of the person doing the crushing handshake.

I don't try to hurt people though

I find Mr Handbreak very disturbing - like the kind of man who thinks it's "funny" to pinch his wife and when she protests that it hurts says it was an accident or a joke

Actually these days in business contexts I do tend to stick my hand out first precisely to get over that awkwardness - people can be relieved that you've made a decisive action! It doesn't come naturally to me but I find it useful. Though I do work with lots of people from overseas so it may be interpreted differently

Oh and my grand-dad used to do the mega-hand-squeeze thing when we were kids and yes it hurt and yes WTF.

I haven't had one at work.

It is weird for a neighbour to "formally" greet you like that - "cheery wave" is my default neighbour greeting!

Interesting.

I see handshakes as masculine.
Also I think (and have heard and read) that the Brits in general are terrible at greeting each other and saying goodbye - we don't have any set embedded "rules" and we are all rather uncomfortable with the whole thing.

Shaking hands has always felt really unnatural to me. At work I notice that women generally are a lot more tentative about it. I actually noticed the other week - a couple of men at work greet each other with a smile and a generous handshake and a sort of shoulder slap thing - a very natural greeting. Thinking about it the blokes I know generally will often meet in the pub or whatever with a handshake. The women I know don't tend to do anything just say hello.

So having had a think, I would say that yes it is a male greeting in society generally that women do not do and that shows in the work environment. It's a greeting between men isn't it, they are used to proffering their hand it's a normal thing, and consciously or subconsciously a lot of women feel a bit silly when they do it.

Or OP you could just punch him in the throat

people always shake the hand of my husband before they shake mine - men and women do this.

it always feels wrong to me anyway. I don't think it is necessary unless you are making some kind of firm contract...

How about a slight bow or nod of the head?

I'd be quite happy to do away with them as I don't really need to meet a stranger and then immediately take on a load of their germs. Do we need bodily contact with strangers? Can't we just say hello?

treacle maybe he got in to the habit of overcompensating (if he is quite small) so doing the big hard man shake with other men?

I've never had the over-squeeze (although DP has - he coped, then decided not to employ the guy), I have had both the hand on top thing (technique for showing dominance), the putting my hand on top (to make me think I was the one in control apparently), and the one I hate - the shake and elbow/upper-arm squeeze (for faux concern/friendliness).

Actually, each time it was not because of the action itself, but because I could see they were using it as a learned technique to try and put me in a certain frame of mind for their benefit.

I wouldn't want hugs, but I don't mind european kisses from actual Europeans, or people who are genuinely friendly.

Handshakes are definitely masculine. Male members of families (especially in this culture) tend to greet with handshakes rather than hugs. They are also used by men in a secret squirrely kind of way through organisations such as the Freemasons and Scout movement.

And I've never had a hand-breaking handshake off a woman, only men.

I am with you OP on just doing away with handshakes altogether as it can descend into some kind of competition. But as with others I would feel very uncomfortable accepting a hug off someone I don't know.

Overbearing handshakes are alpha male willy waving, no?

I've just realised that my bil does this, I think. Not to me, because I've never needed to shake his hand. But I know he hurt my elderly father a couple of times with his bone crushing hand shake. Obviously that's not sexist, since it's another man, but it is very clearly a weaker man, since he is elderly and frail.
My bil is a bit sexist (eg doesn't wear a wedding ring but doesn't like his wife not wearing hers) but at the same time, aside from that he is not generally disrespectful or bullying, he doesn't put his wife down or criticise, he doesn't mansplain or talk over women.

I sort of don't want to believe that he does the handshake intentionally to hurt and yet reading this thread makes me suddenly think 'but how could he hurt someone by accident? He is a tiny little man, not someone who is so muscular that he doesn't know his own strength'.

I would rather poke my eyes out than hug most people, certainly anyone less than CLOSE friends or family.

Handshakes all round with me.

For angry mr handcrusher I would ask loudly and directly, "why are you trying to hurt me?"

I make sure i push my hand into theirs between thumb and forefinger, then they can't squeeze as hard

A bit unrelated, but I hate family/social goodbyes. I stress over whether I should offer a hug or not; or a cheek kiss or whatever. Can't people just say bye and leave!! Sometimes I dread days meeting people just because I know I'm going to stress all day about saying goodbye to them ....

I have never considered a handshake masculine. In the same way I have never considered work environments to be inherently masculine because men dominate them. Rather, I consider them get another thing that men find ways to exclude women from.

I shake hands. Nothing annoys me more than someone refusing to shake my hand - either because it's a man who just doesn't think to shake he hand of a woman or a woman who is clearly just uncomfortable with hand handshaking.

It's a well accepted form of greeting in western, and in fact in many other cultures too.

Having said that, people who try to dominate on handshakes are just dicks. I haven't really experienced this myself but I know men find it with other men quite often.

This bloke is a knob.

If the standard greeting was a hug, he'd squeeze too hard or brush your boob or something.