Manshake

Olivia is on fire tonight!

Thanks for having our backs MNHQ!

Why can't we just bow like the Japanese?
Very civilised in my opinion.

Italy makes me feel very feminist. I bring my own tea..

In the past, I've had a farmer wring my hand in a very 'hearty man of the soil' manner, and, as I had just recovered from a broken wrist, it hurt a lot.

But he was used to pulling lambs, chopping logs, and milking cows, so I had to think it wasn't personal- he just didn't know his own strength, and didn't have any radar to think that he didn't need to use the same strength he used to bale hay shaking hands at a cocktail party.

(He smelt a bit of silage too, so I think he was a real, live country mouse, on a quick trip to the city, and hadn't quite figured out the running water and soap!)

I never shake hands, and if someone sticks out their hand to me, I fist bump, in a bro styleé, but mostly I keep my hands full of books, bag, phone, keys, and I waggle them and nod a bit when saying hello. Seems to work.

Better than head butting à la Thorin Oakenshield I suppose.

Vena
As an evil feminist my plan to solve this issue is to smear period blood all over my hands so no-one wants to shake them. Take that patriarchy!

Going to Italy, where even the waiters hug and kiss you and nowhere has any tea, makes me feel profoundly English.

I hate hugs or kisses except from family and close, close friends. Mind you, I don't get handshakes either. Just pointless touching . When I used to host meetings I never initiated them, though obviously participated.

Welcome to MN Vena. Just posting on FWR, or will you be spreading your 'wisdom' around the rest of the site?

I hear 'The Doghouse' is a friendly sub forum.

Handshakes are now "masculine", "sexist" and "misogynist"? That's a new one. Better break down the "patriarchy" quick so we no longer have to shake anyone's hands.

I have to do quite a lot of hand shaking in my job, with men and women.
I have osteoporosis and an overly firm handshake can break my bones.

It's really awkward trying to find a way to get round this.
Usually I pull out of the handshake just as it's beginning. Having to explain this by telling new associates about my condition is hardly appropriate though.

And it's ALWAYS men that I have to pull out with - never women.

I like handshakes because of the distance

Me too, there are certain people I would like to keep about 2-3 feet away from me .

I like handshakes because of the distance, I really don't want anyone's face that close to mine unless I really know them well and want to hug them.

The OP's neighbour is definitely odd though, I can't imagine shaking the hand of any of the my neighbours, maybe on the very first meeting but beyond that? I think that he was enjoying deliberately intimidating her.

I'd not stick my hand out to someone I didn't like unless I felt I absolutely had to. If that makes them feel awkward then tough.

I will happily do the peck on the cheek thing with other women. I do find it a bit weird with men though. I have a pretty firm handshake, but have also come across men who like to out-firm your firm iyswim? It's a bit disturbing to be honest.

I tend to take my cues from others, so, Buffy doesn't do touch..... Nod, smile and say hello, but another friend is a hugger..... So will do a perfunctory hug. If I know someone well then hugging is fine, if I don't, I have a fairly large area of space around me which I don't really want to be invaded.

Do I have to hide my comedy specs and whoopie cushions and be a humourless feminazi now? Oh poo :(

I've never had any problems handshaking and have a firm but not crushing grip (hate limp handshakes). However, on a purely practical note, since I've developed arthritis in the hands a crushing grip is not merely painful it is bloody agonising. I wonder how many of these crushing grippers ever give a thought to that? There are quite a few of us around with arthritis nursing their painful hands I imagine

Having heard From Our Own Correspondent this morning on Radio 4 though I feel really grateful I don't live in Liberia. The journalist was talking about how Ebola had meant people were stopping touching each other, including hand shaking. He then said that a handshake in Liberia involved a firm grip plus each then pulled the forefinger of the other making the joint crack. Apparently the harder you did it and the louder the noise the better the greeting.

I've never seen 2 women do this outside of work

Really? That's how I greet new acquaintances, male and female. I don't do it outside work after that. I do it in work on first meeting and then only on very formal occasions after that (we have a customer that goes in for it a lot and so many of the more senior people will shake hands with us at every meeting).

So the fact your neighbour wanted to do it every time is weird and unpleasant. I think it's interesting that you didn't feel able to simply say "I won't shake your hand thank you as you hurt me" and not offer your hand. Not at all unusual for the way we are conditioned to be socially compliant.

I don't get Reddward, I'm not sure it translates to American.

Sure. I just thought the OP might be narked if she thought I was making light of something she wanted to start a serious thread about.

Are we not allowed to be lighthearted now?

Tbf though this wasn't a particularly light hearted discussion so I can well understand the oops...

Never mind though eh.

Maybe we should start posting red dwarf links generally to cast off that while humourless thing. Or would it attract more MRA,s... Would they get so confused they implode? Might be with thinking about...

We can be light hearted, y'know!

Nah you can't go wrong with a bit of red dwarf! Well unless it's one of those ones they made recently :D

It's meant to be a light-hearted post, which doesn't really seem to be the general tone of this part of the forum. So I probably wouldn't have posted at all if I'd remembered which forum I was in, not wanting to disturb the discussion (which I realise I'm doing now, but you did ask). Were it possible to delete posts, I'd have just done that.

It always interests me when people say that. Would you have posted differently if you had known it was FWR?

(I can't watch the video as I am in the land that 3G forgot and it can barely load the thread)