Minor male entitlements

Buffy thank goodness for you!! Yes, you have got it in one!

Buffy thank goodness for you!! Yes, you have got it in one!

Has anyone seen Pans?

...ns... What is keeping you so long??

Pa

Helloooooooo........

Ok...so again, what is your point?

I can confirm to you then Pepper, that you aren't 'smart enough', despite the bar being quite low.

What exactly is your point? I am not sure I am smart enough to get it, according to you, so can you repeat it? What is your point here?

yes, thanks, I read your post properly the first time, Pepper. Still reads unpleasant, quite stupid and 'wrong', no matter where you have lived fwiw.

I was asking QUESTIONS....not making statements. Can you tell the difference? Actually, my questions were designed to illustrate that men are not thick..they sometimes CHOOSE to be wicked. Go back, and read again

I lived in SE Asia for five years, by the way. Just so you know.

Thick Asian men, and women being ''most human". Maybe you aren't as "smart enough" as you think you self-declare, Pepper.

Greengrow....are Asian men THICK? I always think that no matter what my culture was/is, I would always be smart enough to figure out that the male and female human is ALWAYS human!!! And therefore EQUAL!!

It is funny how men act so superior yet women are the most human.

Surely men are grown up enough to notice when they are being greedy twats or lazy twats?

Some men don't appear to be (some).

Just look through the Relationships section of this very site and you'll see that there's a huge problem with grown men displaying this sort of behaviour to sons/etc and it becomes "normal". The amount of threads on here that I've seen about grossly unequal disposable time after work (even in couples that both work roughly the same hours and don't even have children yet!), for example, is depressingly high. And that continues...

I see a number of couples sharing lifts in the morning. The man drives the car to his work place then the women jumps out to drive the car to hers (or home I suppose). Why don't the women just drive at the start if they're going to be the last ones in the car. Makes no sense.

Then what is the difference between the men who do it and the men who don't - because they are surrounded by the same influences. If it isn't upbringing, then what? Innate niceness? Superior awareness? Greater intelligence?

And to what do we attribute the behaviour of rude, pushy women? Because they exist too. Where does their entitlement spring from?

Oh, and why do people need a reason to point out rude behaviour? From your own statement - it's (just) subconcious entitlement, i.e. they are not conscious that they are doing it. You said so. So, how else do you make them aware?

he=hold!!!

One thing I hate is the expectant look on men's faces when they hold the door open....it's like "thank me NOW". When women he the door open for me, their demeanour is so different.....they are smiling and Just being kind!!

I can't put myself directly in Callani's shoes because I don't know her or her family. I am not criticising her - she has her reasons for not saying anything.

Why does she need a reason not to point out to her male relatives that they are rude? They are adults, it's not her job to point out their rudeness, they should take responsibility for it themselves.

It's not poor parenting, it's entitlement. It's gowing up in a society that presents you with daily examples of others like you being the most important people; being in positions of power, getting the most of things such as food/space, being represented as the default people in the media/in sport etc etc.....and on and on and on - inevitably, you will believe you are more important, too, and entitled to all of those things as well, and others in society will sub-consciously treat you that way too. The point is, the men who are grabbing the bacon or barging their way to the front of the pub or hogging armrests or whatever don't think they are being rude. They don't realise or notice it or even recognise it as rudeness - it's just sub-conscious entitlement.

On the tube men pretty much always spread their legs as wide as possible and hog the armrests. Never seen a woman behave like that in nearly 30 years..... It's usually women who hold doors open for people, I find. And then end up standing there forever because no one else takes the door and you can't very well let go so it slams into someone's face apart from that bloke in Harrods a couple of weeks ago who did let it slam back into my arm

You're right Rosa, it shouldn't be wives and mothers policing this. Surely men are grown up enough to notice when they are being greedy twats or lazy twats?

Having worked behind many bars in many countries, I can tel you that a bar person worth their salt takes note of who is where behind the jump and ignores the pushy men who wave money at you. They also make those men say please and thank you, or they fail to serve them entirely

If someone did that at my table, I'd tell them that they were being a twat, Rosa. But they don't because I was not brought up to be an inconsiderate twat, and neither was anyone in my family. I don't expect only women to police this behaviour, but obviously they have a role to play. If a mother or father allows this behaviour as their kids grow up, who's fault is it that the kid grows into an inconsiderate arsehole? Just common sense and good parenting really.

I can't put myself directly in Callani's shoes because I don't know her or her family. I am not criticising her - she has her reasons for not saying anything. Transposed to my home or my mum's home though, and I would not stand for it. It isn't chivalry, it's good manners and due consideration for others.

Interesting that some posters think it's a woman's job to police their male patners' and relatives' behaviour and reprimand them if they take too much bacon etc. Is that because those posters think that good manners are the responsibility of women? Or because they think men are infantilised and can't be responsible for their own bad manners? Either way, depressing.

And if, as some posters suggest, many men are good at being "chivalrous" towards women - opening doors for their prams to go through etc - then shouldn't it be the male members of the family who police the rude men and tell them not to take all the bacon etc? In, fact, if they are so "chivalrous," why aren't all the non-rude men spontaneously and indignantly telling off all the rude men rather than leaving responsibility for "chivalry" and good manners to female members of the family? While they are there, the non-violent men could take responsibility for telling the violent men not to be violent..........oh wait. Merry-go-round, anyone?

Well then you're very lucky, I realise that sounds sarky, but I do mean it.

As someone said above the saddest thing is most of them don't even realise what they've done. it so deeply ingrained that they are in the right.