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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

5 questions for people who advocate legal prostitution

288 replies

AskBasil · 25/08/2014 10:23

genderdetective.wordpress.com/2014/08/10/five-questions-for-people-who-advocate-legalizing-prostitution/

Made me fink

OP posts:
CaptChaos · 03/09/2014 14:14

I'll bet it is.

I'm really sorry you're in this position. I'm sorry it hasn't changed for the better.

migsymoo · 03/09/2014 14:07

He said that we'll sort the debt together. He is looking for work though but like other people are finding it, it's really tough. It's a grim situation round here when it comes to jobs.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 03/09/2014 13:42

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BriarRainbowshimmer · 03/09/2014 13:34

Welcome back migsy. I remember you and have been wondering how you were doing. It worries me that your "friend" has even more control over your situation now.

FloraFox · 03/09/2014 09:36

migsy you said before that you had debt to pay to this man. Is that still the case? Did he say you could forget about that now that you are together and you are completely supporting him?

migsymoo · 03/09/2014 09:22

I see what your saying about men having sex with other men for cash, i know for a fact he wouldn't do it. But when I am with a client it's not a million miles away from 'normal' heterosexual sex soil find it hard to compare it. No I don't want to have sex with my clients but I do have sex with them because they pay me to. We got together a few months back and things have been ok between us and I'm feeling better in myself. I know I need to stop doing this, it's just that I need to find the right time without taking on more debt.

WhatWitchcraftIsThis · 03/09/2014 08:52

Why can't he do webcam work, he wouldn't have to touch any men then? Just expose his body for other people's entertainment

AskBasil · 03/09/2014 08:13

Why would it be a bit much for him but it's not a bit much for you?

If prostitution is so equal and empowerfulising, he could stipulate what he was prepared to do sexually so that he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want and of course his punters would respect the boundaries he laid down, wouldn't they.

OP posts:
WhatWitchcraftIsThis · 03/09/2014 07:47

It would be a "bit much"? What to expect him to do what you do? Genuinely how many of the men that pay to fuck you would you want to have sex with if they weren't paying? Whats tthe difference? No one expects a man to have sex with someone they don't want to. If you're attempting in anyway to prove prostitution isn't a horrible situation to find your self in, you're failing miserably and I hope you see that soon

JustTheRightBullets · 03/09/2014 06:43

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scallopsrgreat · 03/09/2014 00:10

migsy, seriously, think about why he is watching over you. Is it really for your safety? Because if it was there are plenty of other things he could do to ensure your safety. Like get a job so you didn't have to put yourself at risk.

And now, instead of having access to 40% of your income he has access to 100% of it. And still doesn't have to work.

You are taking all the risks here. Why would someone who cares about you want that to be the case?

FloraFox · 02/09/2014 23:39

Do you fancy the men old enough to be your grandad? Do you want to have anal sex with them? Isn't that a bit much? It makes sense for him to be fully supported by you and to suck up the cash you could be saving to do your course. Did this all come about after your previous posts where you were thinking about leaving him and going to stay with a friend? Now here he is living with you and you're still supporting him. migsy you could do a lot better than this creep.

migsymoo · 02/09/2014 23:34

Just managed to pop on quickly. No I don't give him 40% but since I'm the only one working I pay the bills and do the food shop and stuff. As for him being a gay prostitute, that's a bit much since he's not gay. He stays in the flat partly because he doesn't work and can't hang round his mates all day, and also because I told him I'm not happy working alone, so it made sense for him to stay at home.

FloraFox · 02/09/2014 21:18

Exactly Briar. Prostitution is the world's oldest oppression (I didn't think of that). Seems like a good place to start.

PetulaGordino · 02/09/2014 20:58

"in many parts of the global sex trade, women are the main buyers"

where?

BriarRainbowshimmer · 02/09/2014 19:49

We need to fight (and eat) kyriarchy in all it's forms

So why shouldn't we abolish prostitution? This makes no sense.

FloraFox · 02/09/2014 18:37

spork's congratulations on a concise distillation of all the nonsense in liberal feminism / women-last progressive politics. Do nothing about exploitation of women until some magical revolution will free us all from every form of oppression. How will this happen?

A large percentage of women in prostitution are disabled? Really? Of course the writer must be castigated for daring to discuss women without focussing on transwomen.

CaptChaos · 02/09/2014 17:46

Seems to be working ok in Sweden. 15 years no prostituted women dead. Germany and the Netherlands where it's all legal and lovely and women get to 'choose' to be exploited by men, how many dead?

And yes, I know, there has been one prostituted woman killed in Sweden, however, she was killed as a result of ongoing domestic violence perpetrated by her ex partner, so, nothing to do with her 'work'

TheSporkforeatingkyriarchy · 02/09/2014 17:41

I think the main problem with that article is the idea that making it illegal/making it disappear overnight would solve any of those problems. It wouldn't. (1) It would give people with few options fewer option, (2) those women would be even more economically disadvantaged [and he ignored disabled and trans women who do make a large percentage as well], (3) most major industries these days are built upon and extort through colonialism, genocide, femicide, white supremacy, patriarchy, racism, and classism or any other part of the kyriarchy, which is why (4) male voices like the blog post's writer get more air time to discuss and prioritise what they see as the issues within any industry, [and why women sex workers, particularly those in the categories discussed, get the least amount of voice in the conversation], and (5) eliminating prostitution wouldn't teach anyone more respect for women and wouldn't make people in other sex industries better (and this part ignores that in many parts of the global sex trade, women are the main buyers and this is interlinked with racism, classism, and exotification of men of colour in representation).

The reasons to get rid of prostitution could be said of many modern industries (yes, down to rape and death) and is putting the cart before the horse. We need to fight (and eat) kyriarchy in all it's forms, take apart and build new systems, give real opportunities and equality to the groups discussed because without that we'd just be making them more vulnerable. If the studies say they would leave if they could that pretty much means that there are no options so what good is taking only one away without doing anything else first? It's just cart before horse and rather paternalistic and exuding privilege to think if we top down took that away that people would make 'better' choices and think better without getting real input and putting anything in place.

CaptChaos · 02/09/2014 17:10

When iirc they had to stop production of all porn in the valley because 2 'actors' were found to be HIV+. You'd think porn was exploitative enough without campaigns to make it less safe.

YY WWIT, you'd have to be a really special kind of asshole to be able to sit and listen to someone you're supposed to care about getting fucked every which way but Tuesday without thinking that it might be a good thing if you got a job. Unless he not only earns money out if but gets off on it as well.

WhentheRed · 02/09/2014 16:28

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WhatWitchcraftIsThis · 02/09/2014 15:07

Do you think he would still be happy to be with you if you caught AIDS or some other serious STD?

WhatWitchcraftIsThis · 02/09/2014 15:06

I#m pretty sure if I cared even a tiny but about my partner listening to them being fucked by someone for cash would be more than I could handle. Espeially when I could get a job.

CaptChaos · 02/09/2014 11:58

Good point, Grimble. Migsy, you've been busting your ass for him for however long, maybe time he busted his so that you can fulfill your potential. 60% of a nurse's salary might not be much, but anything has got to be better than your 'partner' sitting in another room of a flat he makes you pay rent for listening to you being fucked by other men for money, surely?

grimbletart · 02/09/2014 11:39

I did ask Migsy earlier, when she spoke about money shortage, why her partner could not work as a prostitute himself as he clearly thinks prostitution is fine. But got no answer.

Migsy, why doesn't he? That would solve your money difficulties and allow you to do the course you want to do. Seems only fair.

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