"Clever girl" - I'm pregnant

I think it's patronising. I got called "stupid, stupid stupid girl" by my GP when I got pregnant while I was waiting to go to Oxford to start my degree I'm not sure which is worse!

I think it would annoy me also because it sounds as though becoming pregnant might be more of an achievement than other things (career, success, etc etc) you may have done in your life. To my mind there's a hint of "you've finally fulfilled your promise!" about it.

Unless of course your mum has been saying "clever girl" every time you've done anything. Always possible, I guess!

It's annoying because it is:

a) Patronising - you are clearly an actual woman, not a girl - and;
b) Illogical - you don't have to be remotely clever to get pregnant.

It would have annoyed me too. I would also have complained about it to someone else and not said anything to my mum, as you are.

It wouldn't bother me at all coming from my mum.

But, then, although I didn't feel particularly clever getting pregnant, I couldn't get over how clever I felt when I produced a baby that I'd made in my body!!!

She's your mum who was probably chuffed to bits that all was okay and used a daft term that yes, if you analyse it, is wrong. But she was probably caught up in the moment and I cruelly think you're being a but ott about it (personal opinion)

Have you spoken to her about it if it bothers you so much?

Yes OP please can you stop over analyzing sexism on MN so we can have precisely fuck all to talk about and MN can implode and netmums can take over the interwebz?

oh and purple could you maybe stop underanalyzing things?

There's always one!

They do seem to be lining up to take shots at FWR posts this week though.....

Purple, it's pretty clear OP is posting on here to avoid upsetting her mum.

YY to the "well done" comments
It made me rage during my first pregnancy.

WhatWitchcraft is right, some people are a bit weird and prone to sexist remarks when faced with a pregnant woman. They mean well though, I think. Maybe as a society we're just not very good at knowing the right thing to say.

Overanalysing majorly. She's happy about it. She used old fashioned words. I hope you are going to let this go.

I had a son first. When I then had a daughter, I was called 'clever' by various colleagues, neighbours, friends etc. I found it utterly bizarre.

My best friend, who had a very quick, no-intervention water birth was called 'clever' by all and sundry. She made a point of saying 'lucky!' Every single time.

People can be most odd about this.

I think I got "clever girl" from some of dh's friends.. I definitely got "well done".

People are weird (and sexist) especially when you are pregnant.

"Clever girl" is one of those parent phrases that pops out without any thought, isn't it? I think parents say it so often it loses meaning until it just becomes just a bunch of sounds that expresses approval and satisfaction.

On a (vaguely) related note I had two slightly weird experiences this week - on Monday my best friend said "good girl, well done," in a sort-of jokey way for something I'd done that she'd been teaching me and I was so mortifyingly pleased I had to run away. Then yesterday my aerobics teacher asked my name and when I told her she said (very sincerely) "Ooh X, that's a lovely name." Again, I was ridiculously pleased. Two patronising things that you would normally only say to a child and I was delighted, perhaps because such words would never ever pass my parents' lips :(
Anyway, what I'm ramblingly saying is, it's a parent thing. It's patronising, yes, and slightly sexist but meant in a good way. I think if you admire the person and want their approval (as I do with my bf and my aerobics teacher) then even though it's patronising it still feels sincerely meant and the sentiment overrides the words.

Get used to it, it will be a constant stream of "good girls" from HCPs now

Ugh. When I was pregnant with my first my DH's aunt texted 'well done, clever you' to DH!!!!!

YANBU.

Is your husband also aclever boy?

Do you keep your brains in your ovaries?

The phrase 'clever girl' calls to mind the moment in Jurassic Park where Bob Peck realises he's been outflanked by the velociraptors just before one moves in for the kill. .

I would ask your mum if that's what she meant.

True. My toddler married another toddler and they have a toddler of their own. Very sweet, all living together in their own house and driving cars, going to shopping by themselves and making their own decisions about bedtimes.
Its a parent thing.

My dad snorted with laughter at the idea of me being a grown up not long ago... Despite the fact I'm married, pregnant and earn more PA than his very grown up employees (I have a more responsible job as well). I've been living independently of his support for almost ten years.

I think it's a parent thing