So, not everyone's a feminist

Again he may have been making clumsy banter but why should women have to put up with men making references to porn

Being on your own with a man who is a stranger and he mentions porn can be threatening even when it does not feel that way why should women have to put up with it. many men know it is not something you discuss unless you know the person well so should we just ignore those that do not understand that. for many women it makes them feel uncomfortable for the sake of not hurting the mans ego should we stfu

bless your disingenuity

I go out for the day, and look who comes out of the woodwork.

Welcome back

Petula. What sexist behaviour?

is me seeing you exhibiting sexist behaviour right here glovender just part of my own inherent expectation that i will experience sexism?

Now now Buffy, what I actually said was that a regular FWR poster, who had already posted about expecting sexism, had reported to her FWR friends the guilty bastard ('march in the') making a reference to porn. With no further ado, said FWR friends - needing no further evidence (because of their vast experience in this matter) - pronounced the guilty bastard guilty and encouraged the OP to report the matter and be on her guard against possible escalation because it is a well-known fact amongst FWR posters that whenever one person mentions porn to another person it is an attempt to reinforce the strict patriarchal controls on women and that:

• there is no possibility that this was a crass and clumsy attempt at humour.

• there is no possibility that was a highly privileged person lecturing someone of less privilege on the importance of equality such that the latter took a cheap shot at the former being somewhat irked at the former's haughty didactic utterances.

My own guess is my original one. This was a rough and ready sort attempting a bit of clumsy 'I'm not into all that PC nonsense' banter with someone who, regrettably is rather into all that PC nonsense. The problem here is that, if you inherently believe that normal society is sexist, then people that act normally within society are also going to be seen by you as exhibiting sexist behaviour.

I have an uncle who speaks like this. It is repulsive and one day I finally had enough. He started asking me about my love life with my husband...at first I was polite as he is my dad's brother and is in his eighties, so I brushed it off and muttered something about DH being in front of the computer that day as usual (he is a network engineer so that's his job).

Anyway, uncle laughed and said he must be watching porn as what else is it for. That was it...enough!! I told him loudly and firmly he was not to disrespect me like that again or my husband and also himself. I didn't wait around to hear his reply....I was embarrassed for him and for myself and how he had made me feel. Also angry that so many men think they can talk like that. It's disgusting.

It's just a man being a twat.

I'd tell him to make his own fucking tea, shut the door and get on with my life.

I don't think I'd start pontificating about 'the working class' male and all their deprivation and consequent vulgarity.

If this forum educates one woman or helps them stand up to everyday sexism then it is working

Which it has done

I am not sure the op can answer

I have had these or similar remarks made to me when the discussion has not gone that way at all I am sure I am not the only one

And as for the porn point far too often conversations have been steered that way how it's come about is simply the man or men I have been talking to have wanted to mention porn

Why because women were just expected to put up and shut up when being told their opinions are stupid or feelings are not valid and sadly too many men and some women still feel
women create too much fuss about how they expect to be treated

Lol at justthe There's a lot of imagining going on there.

But then, given that I've supposedly said you are all irrational, hysterical and irrelavant coupled with being possessed of no sense of humour whatsoever, perhaps it isn't important what was actually said. Perhaps we can just twist things however we like so as to suit our pov.

There is genuine sexism and oppression and inequality in the world. There are also people who have made a bit of a hobby out these miseries and, let's be honest, Mumsnet FWR isn't an important forum for the advancement of women's rights is it. It's procrastination for people that did or are doing a Women's Studies PhD.

I really am trying to move on from my contribution to this thread...! I wonder, though, if any of you could explain to me what the OP said to the plasterer to make him enquire as to whether she was a feminist. I'd be grateful if you could also let me know what the OP said just prior to him saying he thought computers were only any use for watching porn on.

and we do not have a sense of humour

we have already been designated irrational, hysterical, and irrelevant

Glover do you not think many of us have experienced this and know how so often it plays out and do not want to put up with it or for other woman to have to deal with such behaviour

Why should have to put up with men taking about watching porn when they feel it is appropriate

If you can't see sexism right in front of your face then we can't help you.