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Original poster

So, not everyone's a feminist

205 replies

Vivacia · 18/08/2014 10:37

Plasterer arrived today for the first of four days. I am working from home but everyone else is out.

So far we've had,

"You're not one of these modern women are you?" - don't know, not sure what that means.

"Are you a feminist?" - "Of course I am, aren't you?".

OP posts:
CaptChaos · 20/08/2014 15:06

Maybe tomorrow, don't ask him, but tell him that he will have to be finished by X time, no explanations, just a time he has to be gone by?

I really don't envy you at all.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 20/08/2014 15:06

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Original poster
Vivacia · 20/08/2014 15:02

I am desperate to ask what time he'll be finished (because I just like having this kind of info and being able to plan tea and evening etc) but he seems to like having that control, so today I'm not asking. Also, it would mean prolonging contact with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Vivacia · 20/08/2014 15:01

My feeling today is to stick it out. He's at the messiest part of the job, the least likely time someone would want to pick up the pieces. His work seems good and he takes pride in doing a good job.

OP posts:
BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 20/08/2014 14:55

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Original poster
Vivacia · 20/08/2014 14:49

He's only half way through, I'm not disappointed in anything yet though.

What are you thinking?

OP posts:
BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 20/08/2014 14:41

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Original poster
Vivacia · 20/08/2014 14:39

He hopes to be finished by Friday.

OP posts:
BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 20/08/2014 14:33

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Original poster
Vivacia · 20/08/2014 13:36

I've had the same thoughts myself about his exact use of language.

OP posts:
SevenZarkSeven · 20/08/2014 13:35

Why don't you buy him a copy of the gay times to read on his lunchbreak, given that he is obviously very pro-gay rights type issues Grin

Seriously though "fuck what you like" - that's horrible. What if "what you like" doesn't like to fuck you? Nasty.

PetulaGordino · 20/08/2014 13:34

not at all

i think you have the measure of him viv

Original poster
Vivacia · 20/08/2014 13:33

He was also suggesting he won't be finished until Friday or in to next week now.

Sorry, I feel that I'm making this a bit too chatty for FWR.

OP posts:
JustTheRightBullets · 20/08/2014 13:31

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Original poster
Vivacia · 20/08/2014 13:30

Was the '...' "fuck"?

He just kind of jutted his head forward and left the blank there. It took me a second or two to fill the gap in.

OP posts:
Original poster
Vivacia · 20/08/2014 13:29

Oh, I didn't think you were suggesting that, I was musing out loud and wondering what I do feel.

Absolutely on the rest of what you said. He reminds me of my dad in some ways. Working class scum that he is.

OP posts:
JustTheRightBullets · 20/08/2014 13:29

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SevenZarkSeven · 20/08/2014 13:24

Wasn't saying you were scared sorry that came out wrong! Just telling my own experience there.

IME a lot of men seem to think it's "funny" to do what you say "gets a kick out of pressing my buttons and I think he sees me as a bit of a challenge, like a horse needing breaking. ". I don't really understand it. I guess they like women to be sort of deferential and don't like it when they aren;t?

Original poster
Vivacia · 20/08/2014 13:22

Not really, we live in a fairly isolated spot and I won't leave our dogs here alone with him. I'd never forgive myself if one of them got out on to the road or in to the fields.

I'm not scared of him. I think he gets a kick out of pressing my buttons and I think he sees me as a bit of a challenge, like a horse needing breaking.

(I do have a chair up against the door though).

OP posts:
SevenZarkSeven · 20/08/2014 13:13

Can you go out?

We had a plumber that I was genuinely quite scared of and I made myself scarce while he was there.

PetulaGordino · 20/08/2014 13:07

(If I've got it wrong, hopefully there's someone somewhere on the internet who's willing to show me my errors and assumptions. It's so hard for women like me, so often everyone just agrees with me and never challenges my POV and lived experience at all. Won't someone take pity?)

Original poster
Vivacia · 20/08/2014 13:06

"We're living in a nanny state"

"I don't feel that I am"

"I do. I think you should eat what you like, drink what you like, smoke what you like and ... what you like".

OP posts:
PetulaGordino · 20/08/2014 13:00

(Have I worked out how to do this devil's advocate lark? Have I?)

PetulaGordino · 20/08/2014 12:58

We only have viv's word for it that she didn't ask him what he thought of her eyes beforehand, or she might have complimented him on his biceps

CaptChaos · 20/08/2014 12:56

Of course not Just.

I bet Vivacia was fluttering her middle class eyelashes at the time as well.

Hmm
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