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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Are women who have been treated badly by men more likely to be feminist?

34 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 06/08/2014 07:51

I have had an appalling track record with men sadly including severe abuse issues. It was this that attracted me to feminism . I don't hate men , I crave a connection with a decent man but I do detest the sexist culture which fuels an abusive mindset.
I sometimes wonder if I was happily married to a loving man with a comfortable life , if I would even think about feminist issues. Sometimes I think my independant spirit has led me to be single. Thoughts please?

OP posts:
Bonsoir · 06/08/2014 08:27

You are absolutely right, dreamingbohemian, that being the victim of injustice makes people think harder about how society functions and may make them interested in feminism and other movements that combat prejudice.

TheFirstOfHerName · 06/08/2014 08:22

Although I haven't been treated badly by men, many women are underpaid, undervalued, abused, mistreated etc. It didn't need to happen to me in order for me to feel strongly about it.

Likewise modern slavery, poverty etc.

TheFirstOfHerName · 06/08/2014 08:20

Not in my experience.
I have always been a feminist.
My father is a feminist, which helped. Both sets of grandparents and my parents all had marriages based in equality and mutual respect, as do DH and I.

I was a SAHM for a few years, and my parents found it quite hard to get their head round that choice. Both my grandmothers had careers, as did my mother.

DS1 is already a feminist. The other day, someone told him not to be such a girl, and he replied that that isn't an insult, because there's nothing wrong with being a girl.

dreamingbohemian · 06/08/2014 08:14

I see what you're saying

I think it has more to do with people feeling they have been treated unjustly -- whether that's abuse or exploitation at work or overt sexism or what have you. Injustice makes people think about the world, about why people do things, and gets people thinking about things like feminism.

Happy people who have never had to deal with injustice may still believe in things like equality and rights but may not feel as strongly about it -- although this is a big generalisation.

I think the danger in your question is that a lot of people think feminists are bitter old man-haters who are just causing problems because a man treated them wrong. And that is absolutely not the case.

But I do think being treated badly in life, in whatever fashion, makes people more amenable to movements that want to change society.

callamia · 06/08/2014 08:11

I don't think so. I'm pretty sure there are many feminists who aren't in relationships with men, as well as those who are in good relationships.

My feminism grew more out of observing workplace inequality, historical and current, and about wanting to feel part of and develop something important. I do think that feminism has a lot to offer humans in general.

PetulaGordino · 06/08/2014 08:10

I don't know about in general, but I can speak for myself. I have experienced sexual assault from strangers and acquaintances, but the men I have had the closest personal relationships with (father, brothers, partner) are kind, generous, gentle, supportive etc. There is ingrained sexism that I have called them on and they have taken it in board, but they are not abusive men.

And I think that this is as it should be, and every woman should have this experience of the men who are close to her, and I want to fight for that for other women. My good opinion of my father, brothers, partner etc means that I don't believe that men can't stop themselves being violent and abusive

Bunbaker · 06/08/2014 08:03

No. I don't think so. You could use the argument that it is the non feminist women that gets badly treated because a feminist wouldn't have got do embroiled in a relationship with an abusive man.

I'm not saying that is the case, but it is another point of view.

superstarheartbreaker · 06/08/2014 08:00

I know what you mean but I guess, to put this differently, are women who have had a lovely time with men less likely to be attracted to women's' rights? Married or not?

OP posts:
Atavistic · 06/08/2014 07:55

No, no, no.
Being happily married doesn't mean you don't believe in equality!
Seriously deranged thought process.