Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Learning about The Beauty Myth and fat etc.

55 replies

Sulis · 20/07/2014 13:37

Hello Smile I used to post here all the time - FlamingoBingo for anyone who remembers me!

I'm on a mission to truly, unconditionally love my body - initially motivated by having four daughters who I want not to internalise The Beauty Myth. So I have my books piled by my bed:

The Beauty Myth I'm half-way through.
Fat is a Feminist Issue
Susie Orbach on Eating

I'm reading fantastic blogs like Dances with Fat.

I'm finding inspiration from articles like this about allowing yourself to be photographed for your children and this about not refusing to wear a swimsuit to play with your kids on the beach.

FWIW I'm a size 12/14, 5'1". I lost a load of weight a couple of years ago but have put it all back on. I dance at least twice a week and am fairly fit and very healthy.

Anyone else want to talk about this? What are you doing to support your daughters' body image? What work on your own issues are you having to do? How's it working for you? Have you got any body-love inspiring resources to share?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sulis · 20/07/2014 16:51

But fat doesn't equal ill-health. In fact, the opposite. It's been known for decades now that women, in particular, are healthier and live longer if they're a bit overweight. It's the fear of ill-health, dieting and self-hatred that causes ill-health, not the fat itself. Except in the case of morbid obesity...which isn't going to happen to someone who loves themselves unconditionally because it is an addiction, which is a mental illness, and, in general, happens to people who keep trying to diet rather than people who are happy and healthy and overweight.

The shame thing is a real issue, isn't it? It's so awful to read some of the things people write about overweight women - that awful unsisterly Liz Kelsey article made me so furious. Daily Hate link

OP posts:
MontyGlee · 20/07/2014 16:21

Not DS, DD! Acronyms Confused

MontyGlee · 20/07/2014 15:56

I can't answer this from a DS perspective, but I'm interested in the general topic.

I find it very difficult to find the right balance between various factors.

Firstly is the shame that I think I'm supposed to feel about a certain amount of body fat. Within this are two factors 1. I'm not supposed to be fat and, 2, if I am, I'm supposed to be actively trying to do something about it. As someone observed very well on another thread, you'll get support if you're fat and trying really hard to do something about it, but god help you if you laugh too much. I want to try and ignore all this and concentrate on:

A lot of people aren't actually as bothered as I think they are and a bit of body-confidence actually goes a long way. Think Beth Ditto etc. BUT

I also know that food is becoming ever more addictive and that bad food is easier/cheaper than good food. Modern lifestyles are sedentary in nature and therefore I really ought to be careful about exercise and diet.

Getting it right is tough.

Original poster
Sulis · 20/07/2014 14:32

I'm not sure encouraging people to be sporty is helpful, either, though. I'm wondering how about how to undo 'encouragement' I experienced in childhood that did harm to my relationship with food and physical activity. I've also read Diet Recovery 2 by Matt Stone - all about the harm dieting does to our health. I have a book about children and food he's written that I need to read too: Food Ninjas. And another book called Kids, Carrots and Candy. There's a lot out there about the harm that having 'good' and 'bad' foods does to us. All these judgements!

OP posts:
TheSameBoat · 20/07/2014 14:16

I am on the same mission OP! So thanks for the resources.

Can't say about DDs as I don't have any but I would say my friend who has 2 DDs does an incredible job with them. She encourages them to be sporty, comments on their strength and if she compliments their looks she does so equally with their personalities.