This post on 10 things about raising boys has given me The Rage

OMG, I have 2 DDs and have just read the "10 Things about Girls". Absolutely none of it is true for my two daughters, with the exception that one of them likes being read to (the other one's not bothered). Nearly all of it is about looks - supposedly girls, and their mums, are obsessed with pink, hair, dresses, looking sexy, clothing accessories, make-up. Well not here they're not (and my girls are 9 and 12).

1. Clothes shopping will be a piece of cake.

I told my DSs they are buying their own clothes from now on - had enough of "it's too black, it's too white, it's too yellow, it's not yellow enough, it's too long, it's too short etc etc etc".

however:
10. Boys adore their moms.
They all do. After all, I am awesome.

My feelings exactly.

BOYS

1. There will be planes, trains and automobiles.

1. Boys don’t stop moving.

1. Clothes shopping will be a piece of cake.

1. His fascination with his penis starts sooner than you think.

1. Roughhousing is innate.

1. You’ll probably make a trip to the emergency room.

1. Pee will be everywhere. Everywhere.

1. You’ll learn not to compare your son to girls.

1. The goofiness starts early.

10. Boys adore their moms. They all do. After all, I am awesome.

GIRLS

1. You'll buy her stuff she doesn't need.

1. She may be way girlier than you are.

1. Her desire to borrow your heels, jewels, handbags and more will start as soon as she can walk and talk (and grow from there).

1. Everything starts early.

1. She'll strike a sexy pose.

1. You'll relish the excuse to read "Black Beauty," "Nancy Drew" and Judy Blume again.

1. She'll likely go through an "I'm only wearing dresses" phase.

1. She'll hoard ... everything.

1. You'll fight over her hair constantly.

And they say feminism divides the sexes . Boys and girls are more alike than they are different even in this insistent society that seeks to separate them as much as possible. As others have mentioned it is impossible to distinguish innate differences because of the socialisation that starts even when they in the womb.

I still remember DS, aged about 3 at the time, finding a pink dressing table and mirror in the Early Learning Centre (or "Pink Shop" as he used to call it) and sitting at it and primping and preening. I watched trying not to laugh visibly (was severly worried about my pelvic floor) and thinking "where the hell has he got that from because he has NEVER seen me do that?" The pervasiveness of wider culture is incredible.

Interesting girl one. My DD is 10. I put the fact that she does not strike sexy poses/borrow my clothes or any of that other stereotypical stuff down to the fact:

1. women's magazines are banned in our house
2. so are newspapers - we watch tv news or I read online
3. we monitor TV and computer use - no exposure to soaps ever and only 'U' films or select PG films
4. I don't spend money on my looks or clothes so don't have much in the house that she is likely to borrow
5. i try hard to find her adventure books that include female roll models
6. i do not let her listen to many pop stars for instance Rhianna, Jessie Jay because of the sexualisation. I've nothing against it, they are artists and they can express themselves how they want, only not within earshot of my DD.
7. if she watches something on TV it's almost always recorded - thus without adverts depicting women in swimwear whether it's for a car ad, cereal ad, toothpaste ad etc etc etc...

It may sound really strict in our house, but it's really not. It's really peaceful without all that media bombardment.

She loves nail varnish and clothes etc, but she only goes on who she knows - her aunties, me when I go out, girls in the street who stand out, her idol Taylor Swift, some celebs on The Voice, which is just about all the celeb exposure she gets.

Leaving magazines about is the worst thing I'd say.

You'll buy her loads of girly stuff and be even more excited by it than she is..

and then it say even though you try and be gender neutral she will still love princesses

Also yes, boys are obsessed with their genitils. Like ALL children. I could barely get a nappy on DD because I could never keep her hands away long enough.

and what adult woman calls a penis a "his thing" really?

Don't fight with dd about her hair...because it is her fucking hair. If you don't put loads of crap in your son's hair it's hardly a surprise you haven't got to battle with him is it?

The first two points of the raising girls one are ridiculous:

1. You'll buy her loads of girly stuff that you didn't have as a child

2. She'll be more girly than you.

Er, you think? Could there possibly be some kind of connection between the first point and the second?

Actually - I wonder if a bit of posing isn't innate because DS1 can't help himself in front of a mirror - his head goes on one side, hip pushed out, posing and smiling at himself.

I don't have magazines, I'm not girly-girl, TV is more cartoons and sci-fi than anything that might have an influence so goodness knows where he got it from if it didn't come naturally.

"At the age of 4 she asked for a bra and heels". Jesus wept.

And honestly, a penis does not disqualify you from cleaning the toilet if your wee should stray outside the toilet bowl. Do people put up with this kind of things?

I only have DSs and various bits of various lists are true at various point in time.

My imaginary daughter would be stuffed - no high heels, no make-up, definitely no sexy pose, barely own a hairbrush, no handbag, and don't buy things we don't need (small house no storage).

She'll strike a sexy pose.

Of course, children imitate adults. Adult women are shown in those poses in media all the damn time. The author acts like this is something suprising and innate, though.

My God - I've just discovered I'm a man based on those lists - except for the penis bit……

Not only that both my daughters are men too.

Among the three of us we kept A and E in business.

Hey! Enough with the mother of boys sniping! I only have boys and even so I'm about the list, I do care about girls being made to wear skirts as uniform.

I'm capable of noticing gender stereotyping even though I only have one gender example in front of me just as well as people with both because my two boys are both totally different to each other, totally different to their cousins and friends, and generally just themselves not 'generic boy' - is that not the point of what we're saying?

I am fairly sure I was a boy when I was younger, well according to that list.
I have 3 girls and one boy and I can see bits of them on each list because they are different people not just whatever gender they happen to be.

I'm doing woman all wrong too. I couldn't strike a sexy pose for all the gold in the world.

Maybe post a link to Delusions of Gender in answer to the post?

She'll strike a sexy pose is just fucking depressing.

I must be doing being a woman wrong because I'm not at all girly or interested in being girly myself.

How would my imaginary daughter be obsessed with my heels and handbags when I don't actually have lots of handbags or heels? My imaginary daughter also wouldn't have lots of accessories because I wouldn't buy her them because it's not something I am interested in.

The only friend I have on FB who shares this kind of crap has only boys. It drives me bonkers. It's so unnecessary.

There is bugger all evidence that differences between genders in childhood are inherent, and loads of evidence that it's cultural/nurture. So why people feel the need to stereotype children when there's no underlying basis for a division is beyond me, it just limits them. The world is tough enough without cutting the options in half.

What a load of gender stereotype nonsense. People believe this shit though don't they so they encourage their children to fit into their own narrow expectations of gender norms, then say look - boys are like this, girls are like that.