Treating girls and boys differently at primary age

On the other hand her primary was great with this sort of this. Loads of girls wore shorts and a few boys wore cardigans as well, boys shoes were popular with the girls as well because they're better for running around/playing in than girls shoes.

The headteacher and chair of governors of the primary school I work at (and that my kids go to) are both very keen on treating boys and girls the same, same as they treat children of differing abilities/needs the same and of different races the same.

Uniform list doesn't specify boys or girls, it's just:

White shirt/blouse
Grey trousers/skirt/pinafore/shorts
Grey cardigan/jumper
Royal blue tie
Blue gingham dress is optional for summer
Long hair must be tied back, no exceptions.
Jewelry is strictly limited to one pair of small earrings.

So technically the boys could all rock up in skirts should they so desire. To date, none have.

PE is mixed - whole class does it together. All children are encouraged to try out for the football team (still mostly boys, though), all children are invited to join netball club. Role play areas in KS1 classrooms are in gender-neutral colours. Nothing in classrooms that depicts perceived 'gender attributes'. No segregation by gender in queues, groups etc. Children encouraged equally in classrooms in terms of maths, science, reading. Our literacy coordinator is pretty fab - she set up a book club to encourage all children to read more - last month we read Wonder (yes, I go, and yes, I cried).

Before now, I just assumed that all primaries were like this these days. Looking at this thread, maybe we're lucky.

fluffydoge is that actually legal?

TeWi they haven't. Last year DD and her friends went on there and got told to leave as it was for the boys to play football on. Even when they asked to join in with the football (not to play just to see if it was because they were girls or not) they weren't allowed because apparently it gets too rough

Yes, at DD's school they have a rota for the all weather pitch. I think the girls turn cartwheels on it, rather than play football though!

At DD's secondary school boys are allowed to go on the Astro ( the only outside space that isn't concrete) to play football at break times. Girls aren't allowed on it.

To the uniform issue in the OP, the other thing I think is that the girls having more complicated uniform choices is not feminism gone mad, but reinforcing femininity. That is to say, in the adult world, men have fairly straightforward clothing choices to make in a professional context; women don't, they need to spend time on what they choose to wear, how they look, decide if it appropriate for the context etc. So giving girls an array of complicated uniform choices is making an issue of their external appearance, which is not just based on function.

Bit when girls cry a lot, it's because theyr'e going to be chatterboxes.

at how stupid people are.

It starts at birth. DS cried a LOT compared to DD; I literally could not get out the house when he was a baby because he had to have his daytime nap at home. Otherwise, he screamed the place down and would not settle. DD was very portable and slept anywhere. When I mentioned this at all, the explanation was that it was because ds is a boy.

DS is very active, very physical in what he likes to do. Well, that is because he is a boy. DS is a cheeky monkey - well, what else do I expect with a boy?!?

I mean, it is just the way he is, but if I had money for the number of times people have said, it is because he is a boy, I would be rich.

He is not even in school yet, btw.

At my DD's school (primary) the girls play in the football team too, if they wish. My DD's friend plays. They are pretty good at being inclusive, bar one example which actually prompted me to write to the school to point out the sexism.

Ph god yes, boys aren't interested in literature! I've already had "wait till he can read all those great non- fiction books" last year from DS' s reception teacher. She totally ignored me when I said we'd spent all weekend with him writing books (with me as amanuensis) - fiction books.

The problem is that then by the end if Y6 you do have this difference with girls in general being behind in maths and boys not liking reading/literature.
And then the teachers will say 'look. I was right. Girls aren't good at maths'.
Except that in my country, it's girls who are better at maths. More if them do a science/maths Aleveks and they get better results....
But it's in the genes for girls not to get maths.

It's pointed out in "Delusions of Gender" that children at primary school are constantly addressed as "boys and girls" rather than "children" or "Year four" or "everyone/all of us".

It sounds like a little thing but I had literally never ever noticed before and it's so true - it separates children out right down to how they think of themselves at a time where they are really searching for their "tribe" and how they fit into the world.

I hate all of the "get boys interested in literature" too, it just gives the assumption in the first place that boys won't be interested in literature. How about "how to get an uninterested pupil engaged in a topic", it doesn't need to be gender specific or topic specific, even.

Yes, stories. The only film that the DDs have seen at school with a female lead character is Frozen, everything else has male characters. I need to write and complain. Or give them our extra copy of Arriety.

There was a discussion (I think about the time of the 'no American writers in the National Curriculum' news) that spoke about how making literacy appealing to boys consisted of reading lots of war stories. Because boys just like fighting.

I really hate the separation of boys and girls for sports activities. And the domination of football by the boys is really annoying. DD1's friend had a football birthday party recently, DD1 loved it and was really competitive but she refuses to go to football after school because 'it's for boys' (it's not but the social pressure is strong). One of the sports weeks over the summer holidays has a 'boys sports' option (football, rugby etc) and a 'girls sports' option (gymnastics, dancing and cheerleading). Luckily we could vote with our feet and the DDs are attending one that does a big range of 'gender neutral' activities rather than segregating the sexes. It's so daft, my secondary school did mixed gym classes all the way through, some sports like hockey and basketball were fabulous as mixed sports because the girls and boys on average brought different skills to the game (e.g. all the netball the girls did at primary meant we were far better than the boys at passing the ball during a game of basketball. That taught the boys a thing or two about relative physical skill.).

Our school actually has a comment about 'celebrating difference' in their equality policy which although intended positively I think allows sexism to leak through. I checked our work policy to compare and it's far more strongly worded about stamping down on the -isms.

The only difference at my DCs primary is the uniform, boys aren't allowed to wear skirts or dresses.

I did once have to pick up the deputy head on a comment he made when I complained that DS2 had hit DD in school and he wasn't told off - apparently because they were siblings. The deputy head agreed with me,then said; "Yes, she's younger than him.....and a girl." WTF does her being a girl have to do with it?

Lumiere: I'm weird too then as I go into a shop, race around with a list. In and out like a dose of salts. I hate it when DH comes with me because he pootles round grabbing things here and there and agonising over what brand of whatever to have. Shopping, whether for food or clothes should rate as an extra circle of hell

There is a notice on the door of the Reception classroom at my kids school. It reads:

'Boys (n) noise plus dirt'

Just to make sure we get that straight from the beginning.

I have sons so tend to notice the things that 'box' them more. This week it was a letter telling us about all the things they were going to do to make literacy more appealing for boys. Because no boy could possibly be engaged in literacy as it is now. And because girls who are not engaged don't count.

In my home country, ball games aren't allowed on the playground. They take OP much space and stops the quieter children from enjoying themselves too.
And it's also reinforcing that apart from football there is nothing else interesting to do (male orientated sport etc)

He is a boy so that's normal he is good at maths. He is a boy so that's normal he us struggling with spelling.
Said along side of 'girls aren't good at maths bits a fact and I know better than you because I'm a teacher' when I gently pointed out I didn't agree with the statement.

I've also had a male teacher explaining to the class that when 'men' do dome shopping, they go int shop take what they were looking for and come out. Whereas 'women' look at a lot of other things that they don't need, spend a lit if time in the shop to come out with a lot of stuff but maybe not what they went in for! If that teacher hadn't been a really good one (apart from that!) I would have gone guns blazing. Because then ds was trying to convince me it's ok to say so 'because that's what most women do'. I know you don't mummy but you are just weird and doing in a different way than everyone else anyway.