What surname do your children have?

I don't like double barrel names, where does it stop. Say a couple both with double barrel names have a child, does that child then get two double barrel names? But that's just my view

My DS who is double barreled and my DiL, also double barreled don't seem to have had this problem for DGD. Like I said upthread... odd that you didn't see it. They took one of his and one of hers and double barreled that. It's not hard, and there's no real need to sneer about it

There was a thing about double barreling and bastard children, but the one in my family is because 2 titles were marrying and it would have been the end of the line for one of them, so it was double barreled.

thebeanpole it's not about fragile egos, i just want our children to have same name as their dad. I will never have OH surname, even when we marry, because it rhymes, think along the lines of Isabelle Bell (!) so if children have my name, what about DH?! I carried the children so I feel like I don't need the name x

DH and I are married and I have his surname as do our children.

I had my father's surname even though he isn't on my birth certificate and it meant a lot to me for a long time. I was unaware for years he was a prat. I just wanted to belong somewhere given that I had never lived with my father and not with my mother beyond the age of two. However I didn't like my surname as a name as it was so easy to be used as an insult so was another reason I was happy to get rid of it.

My PIL are very traditional and would not have been happy if I hadn't taken their son's name and/or given it to our children. This had no bearing at all on my decision though.

We are a family and I wanted us all to have the same name and to be a team. My whole life I was the odd one out and no way was I going to be the only one without the family name.

Everyone should do what they want to do. I have no issue with people choosing to keep their birth name, give either or both names to their children, marry or not but what I do have an issue with is the somewhat sneery comments that are sometimes made when a grown woman chooses to take her husband's name or when she doesn't, or isn't married, yet still names the children their father's name.

Quinto - yes, I understand Spain does not have great feminist credentials generally!

Nigella - my thinking was that, if you can now choose which name goes first, the female nsme could pass on. and let's face it, even one generation is more than is common in the UK.

Yes bit that can be avoided by taking birth certificates or id with you as you are told to!

And it's for security and child protection/abduction reasons perfectly reasonable imo.

It can have some consequences if you don't have the same name in your little family unit. My BIL had a tough time with passport control leaving France last year. He was traveling alone with his dc, who have the mother's name, and the passports therefore did not show a relationship between BIL and the dc. He had to wait for ages while the authorities tried to contact the mother in the UK, and she had to find and email the birth certificates. He was very upset at being suspected of child trafficking his own dc.

that is good prof - but it is not your 'maiden name' it is your name fullstop.
maiden = virgin

We're married, I kept my maiden name and the dc have my surname.

I'd have quite liked to go double barrelled as our surnames together sound quite comedy posh but dh wasn't keen.

Ah, just typed message that disappeared.

DD has my name. We're not married, but even if we were, she would still have it- and I mine. We did briefly consider having DP's name as a second middle name, but he thought it sounded clunky. He chose her middle name, which happens to be the same name as my matriarchal Great Grandmother, so we've got the feminist naming down here.

Outself- one of each is a great idea. A close family member has done exactly that, and we might consider it if we have another.

Childminder88- why would DD need DP's name to feel more connected or involved? His ego isn't that fragile I should have thought all the parenting he does will make him feel connected, eh?

I don't think it has any impact on being seen as a family unit- families are made up of all sorts of permutations these days. I don't really care if her teachers are confused (!) but doubt they would be anyway.

I dint get the same name need.dp and I have different surnames.and weans have double barrell

We aren't married. My dds have my name. Dd1 is from a previous "relationship" and has my name so that is why mostly. It never occurred to me to do otherwise. Ils less than impressed and cards come with dps name but its no biggie

Me to nigellas. Nice thought, maybe we could just make a new on up

Ds has dads name as do I.

I don't like double barrel names, where does it stop. Say a couple both with double barrel names have a child, does that child then get two double barrel names? But that's just my view

i can understand that minnie - also it must be nice to all share a name - just bugs me a little that is (usually) has to be the man's.

We all have the same name, DHs surname - we are the X family, no need for other name confusion, maybe because I was happy to leave my past behind?

My dcs have dps name, we were/are engaged so assumed we would be married and all have dps name.

My whole way of thinking has changed since then, now I don't think marriage is for me I'm quite happy to stay partners but I do wear my engagement ring as a symbol of us, if we did ever marry I certainly would not change my name, so dcs have a different name to me. Could not hyphenate as our names sound terrible together.

When I married I double -barrelled, as I didn't think my now Ex's Surname went well with my Christian name.
When my children came along I gave them my Surname as a middle name.
So when I split with my husband, I just went back to my Surname.
The children still had my Surname and their Dads.

My ds has myname dp'sname, when we get married in a couple of months me and dp will also have myname dp'sname.

The reason we chose to do that was because dp's name is very Swedish, we live in Sweden and there is quite alot of predudice around people with a "forrin" name, ds's name clearly shows he is Swedish but I also felt it was important for ds to have an English last name (along side the Swedish one) as ds is half English, he has a Swedish first name and I wanted him to have a little bit of Englishness in his name.

I found it useful for ds to have my name when I have traveled alone with him, if he had only dp's name we would have different names and different nationalities, it may have caused a faff at passort control.

I really like my last name, it isn't especially interesting but it is quite unusual and very English sounding, I also love dp's last name, it means swan mountain which I think is quite poetic.

Double names are very rare in Sweden, they are officially not allowed but they tend to let immigrants have double names as otherwise it can be classed as cultural discrimination, it causes some confusion, we were in A+E yesterday and when they called his name they seemed a little confused, but I'm sure it won't be a huge hinderance in life, ds can always choose to send job applications with just his Swedish names if he feels it will be an advantage when he is older.

totally agree sm - that is why my children have my name first and his name second (which as I said has since dropped off due to his lack of interest/input) -

There is no we in carry and protect for 9moths he didn't carry

Mine have my DP's surname for similar reasons to OP's. But both DD and DS have my surname as their middle name. I know it probably won't get used very often, but it's there and will continue my family name in a way.

DD has both our surnames, DPs is 10 letters long and 4 syllables, mine is 6 letters and 2 syllables. No hyphen because we didn't want one, DD can choose to use both, either or change her name to Smith if she wants when she gets to 18. It's her choice then but I feel we have given her the option and that she can make a considered choice if she wishes.

I never considered anything other than my children having my name.

I think you misunderstood me, I meant we as in moms carry their children. I hate the collective "we're pregnant" no, I am!

Let's be clear,we didn't carry a baby,we dint have piles or pre-eclampsia.i did
There is no we in being pregnant

Indeed mn is awash with women who think it's only a name
And can't wait to get shot of their funny,clunky,tiresome name for a shiny new mans name