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Original poster

Changing my name

54 replies

ManAliveThisThingsFantastic · 01/07/2014 12:52

You can all probably guess that I have started this thread upon reading the Feminist Wedding one. I am engaged to my wonderful, supportive DP and we're in the process of planning our wedding.

My current surname is the surname of my abusive, estranged father and I am very ashamed to say I have never got round to changing it. However, my DP has a very pleasant surname with good family history.

A large part of me feels I would like to change my surname to his but another part of me questions what does this mean for my feminist beliefs. I am also very keen to keep my "Ms" title after marriage.

Can anyone give any words of support/advice?

TIA

OP posts:
Cardinal · 01/07/2014 13:09

The feminism I believe in allows women (and anybody else) to make the choices they want without fear of judgment, shame or guilt.

I am a feminist who took my husband's name. Simply because it is a lovely name that sounded nice with my first name - I don't even have as 'good' a reason as you.

Choose and use the name you want to have. Anyone who restricts your choice in doing so isn't a feminist. They are forcing you to conform in a different way - not dissimilar to the oppression we are trying to overcome.

BelleCurve · 01/07/2014 13:02

My father was abusive and estranged. Didn't change my name. It was my name. Names don't just belong to men.

BelleCurve · 01/07/2014 13:01

Your surname is not just that of your father. It is YOUR name. Your identity.

HauntedNoddyCar · 01/07/2014 12:56

Surely the point of feminism is ultimately to give choice and freedom back to women. If you want to change your name then that is up to you.

Use Ms if you want to.