Observations on public spaces: watching men and women

"Meanwhile, female colleagues would buy lunches of not very filling things like a salad bowl and then stuff themselves with biscuits at about 3."

That's because women are not supposed to eat- they are judged if they do- by both men and women. The classic "naughty but nice" (ugh) "the lighter way to enjoy chocolate" type campaign are exclusively aimed at women. No man is ever judged for eating- rather the opposite.

But the men watching women on Whyte's film, that's surely true!

I think both men and women block doorways like that. It's something to do with thresholds perhaps, or the protection a doorway provides. Sort of explains why the best conversations take place as you're saying goodbye after a party.

No idea if this is true BTW, pure speculation.

Enjoyed the film Lomaamina linked. Thought the way men were observed preferring to stand in the main thoroughfare to hold their conversations interesting as that is something I associate with women and space in my office, they block doors and hallways as if they have to look like they are on their way somewhere.

Oh stop it, I'm starving! :o

Mmmm

They had roast pork, lamb, chicken, turkey, beef. Still hot and you could ask them for crispy bits. Then condiments. And fresh fresh doorstep cut bread.

I miss it!

A warm pork and stuffing roll, unless you can't eat pork (for whatever reason) is a fine thing :o

Oooh I just thought of an observation. Thinking of food!

Where I used to work there were lots of places to buy lunch and one was a stall with fresh roasted meat and they would make sandwiches. It was utterly delicious. I was usually the only woman in the queue.

Meanwhile, female colleagues would buy lunches of not very filling things like a salad bowl and then stuff themselves with biscuits at about 3.

Food is a very gendered thing. Surely men and women don't have different tastebuds, and even when taking health things into account (women apparently better at healthy eating on the whole) that doesn't explain why the vast vast majority of people buying the delicious meat sandwiches were men and the vast vast majority buying 200 cal salads and then supplementing with biscuits & cake later were women? Esp as in the end the health and calorie intake probably ends up much the same.

I find it sad i guess that many women have an unsatisfying lunch because they want to be slim / stay slim / feel guilty about eating and then because it's so tiny end up eating rubbish which probably makes them feel worse? I am guessing that's what's going on. Why not have a decent yummy lunch in the first place.

I'll shut up now

You can tell the class of the breakfast by whether they have an "egg bar" with someone cooking what you want, also by whether there are options for things like kippers and the like.

God I'm starving

Oh I really go for it.

I get something involving bacon and eggs and stuff whatever I fancy and follow it up with fruit and then if still peckish maybe some bread and cheese continental stylee.

Try it owllady, you'll never look back

And you can sit there with coffee and a paper feeling all grown up which is nice as well!

I don't know, my mum always used to it too but I suppose it those days French rolls and croissants were unusual

I remember I once stayed with her in a hotel in the lake district (she was a single mum) and she decided against the continental to the door option and myself and my sister had to watch her wax lyrical about the grapefruit peeled in juice etc
We weren't allowed bacon, not with all the fruit on offer! :)

lol owllady

Why?

I like it when they have a cheffy person doing eggs for you. I get VERY excited about hotel breakfasts

If I travelled alone I think I would ask for a continental breakfast to be delivered to my room
How dull is th as t

Oooh the research continues BranchingOut!

Of course he was surprised what on earth are you doing out by yourself woman?

They are obviously not used to sneaking in places. Maybe its a working class thing but you have to act brazen if you want anything.

I've had drinks sent over. By Canadians, in London, in my early 20's. My friend and I went over to them with the drinks, put them down in front of them and said thanks, but you are getting no sex out of this, so please have them back again. They were quite horrified that we thought this was what they were after - apparently it is common in Canada to do this... ( where's SGM when you need her)? And they insisted we have the drinks as we 'looked like we were having a good night' and they wanted us to enjoy ourselves. We pointed out how weird this was (would they have done it for two men having a good night?) and parted on good terms.

In the interests of fairness we sent them some drinks back later (being Northern, we liked to stand our round ).

Having worked in a pub in the late 80's, it was incredible the amount you got hit on. I wouldn't say I was particularly attractive (or even approachable - apparently I have 'psycho bitch' resting face and I called out every bit of sexism I came across quite vocally) but nonetheless I was asked out by many, many blokes. Even when I had a boyfriend and said so, one particular loon said 'yes, well when you finish with him, can I have a turn?'

Regarding breakfast, yes it is more socially acceptable for a woman to dither and smile and look for help. I tend to pause at the door of a 'new' hotel simply to spy out the lie of the land before sitting down - I don't want to eat with the queue for the toast machine wending its way around my table. Also the 'rules' are different for each hotel, so it seems - do you find your seat, do you wait to be seated, do you have to show your room key, etc etc. From my limited observation of DH and work trips with other men, they tend to just barge ahead and sit down because they are largely oblivious to such niceties. And get away with it - is this because women are held to higher standards?

Ah, if it's unwritten rules of behaviour that interest you, I'd also suggest reading 'Watching the English' by Kate Fox. Brilliant anthropology of the English.

I have marked this thread to watch the video later. It looks fascinating.

I like your informal hotel studies! It doesn't surprise me. I think woman are more obliging, not wanting to "offend" etc. it's why we are the nicer sex flame me

DH and I argued yesterday over his, IMHO opinion, appalling driving. It was a 50/50 who should go first and the other vehicle was a moped and it was wet. I would always give way in that instance as it is easier for me, in a car, to stop. DH ploughed on regardless and obscenities were exchanged..... "Why should I stop?"

It's this flipping attitude that causes wars, I tell you!

I'm sure there are differences, as you say, between men and women, but also across cultures.

BTW There is a famous study of people in public space by William Whyte, see link here www.pps.org/reference/wwhyte/ and brilliant film here

m.youtube.com/watch?v=p_bWklhjvWc

Some bloke years ago in some posh bar I was in sent over a bottle of chablis to the group I was with -a mixed group of men and women. He then came over and asked for a dance (it was a jazz club IIRC). Got to say, I felt swanky, he was a brilliant dancer. He didn't ask to join us afterwards or anything, so no obligation.

I've never had a drink sent over

I wouldn't buy someone a drink just because tho. A drink doesn't mean sex obviously but surely you'd at least get a conversation because that's courteous of the recipient. Maybe I'm just greedy.