Is fancying a particular sex and not a particular gender bigoted?

There's been a twitter war going on between a lesbian porn performer and trans activists attacking her for saying she does not want to have sex with any transwomen. Trans activists are demanding that she "casts" or "books" a transwoman for her porn i.e. that she has filmed sex with them and calling her transphobic for saying that she doesn't want to. At the same time, they are claiming they are not trying to coerce her into having sex with a transwoman. This is trans activist logic.

genderidentitywatch.com/2014/06/15/lily-cade-lily_cade-and-chelsea-poe-chelseapoe666-internet/

Arf you are bigoted even in your dreams.

There is no hope for you.

I've become so freaking vanilla. Last night I dreamed about trans sex but rather then actually having it I was discussing it.
Does not having sex with transpeople in a dream make me bigot?

I was going to write a longish post about why I choose to have sex with a male with a penis but then I thought Hey fuck it, it's my fanny and you know what I get to choose who touches it. That is really the end of it.

I think she is confusing being "right-on" with being an arsehole.

cal - oh, absolutely. I am boggled to all get-out.

flora - well, yes, that's more or less what I was trying to say! Judging individuals is not useful. I can believe many individuals are doing the best they can in a shitty social structure. What I cannot get around is the way that feminists have been trying to get recognition of oppression for decades, but in some contexts, trans activists have got the same rights much faster, simply because society is much happier with this binary idea of gender. And yet ultimately that binary idea doesn't solve anything much!

Hang on a minute...I'm confused as hell!

So even though I'm straight and fancy dp like hell I'm a bigot because I wouldn't want to screw a vulva? On a man?

Wow never thought I'd be classed as a bigot! Do I get a badge?

I agreed with the article - basically about being tolerant and not nosey/inappropriate - until the bit about sexual preference, which is absolute nonsense, given what she says about rape earlier.

Flora, your post makes a lot of sense to me.

LRD I think there's a difference between judging transwomen who have penises or transmen who have babies and looking at these situations as examples of how transgenderism has moved from what society understands as transsexuals (i.e. men or women who want to live as the opposite sex and have genital surgery and other treatments and who typically and who want to be sexually "straight" post op) into, well who knows what? A lot of people, even if they have gender critical politics, are sympathetic to people suffering severe dysphoria and are okay with accommodating those people's needs to a certain extent. When we get the post-modern "anyone can be anything without doing anything other than saying who they are", there is a clash with women's rights and needs. It also becomes a snake that eats itself - what are they transitioning to and from?

The right to be a prude, and not have to be "up for anything" is pretty much feminism 101, I would have thought.

Bill, you are right that is a massive health issue. In particular FtoM's tend to be resistant to having cervical smears and preventing STD's. But lesbians with MtoF partners where they have PIV, may not be used to thinking about contraception or STD's either. There are a whole lot of health needs taht can be difficult to meet.

Surely one of the benefits of sex without PIV is no risk of PG? And the lack of unwanted PG risk (and minimal STD transmission risk) is implicit in lesbian sex, no?

Maybe some MtoF are taking hormones which make them infertile but not incapable of erection so maybe I'm wrong that that is a risk?

Oh, and if a straight man had a lovely ONS with a straight woman and then blogged about her not having PIV, grumble grumble, he too would be a massive nincompoop.

I agree LRD that we shouldn't blame individuals. But I am pretty boggled at the idea that you want everyone to see you as a man, but you get pregnant and give birth.

Coming from a perspective where I really hope (and believe) that if we got rid of constructs of gender life would be better for all of us, I am uncomfortable with the idea that we should judge transwomen who have penises or transmen who have babies. Sure, in specific instances it can be an issue - eg., I have issues with people who say 'well, pregnancy isn't a feminist issue because men get pregnant too!'. But surely, someone who wants to be a man and wants to have babies is someone who is constrained by painfully shit and limiting ideas about gender?

If they wouldn't want to change their body, but want to change how they're seen by society, well, isn't that what we all do?!

A fairly small group of Trans people say you need body dysphoria to be Trans e.g. Drakensberg on Tumblr. Most say you don't have to have any body dysphoria at all.

Have people heard of the "cotton ceiling"? This is an idea that women won't generally have sex with MtoF's and therefore MtoF's need help to get women to have sex with them.

The concept exists because most lesbians will not have sex with MtoF's.

And incidentally I have seen plenty of MtoF's say that they prefer to have sex with lesbians rather than bi women, because with a bisexual women they can never know if she is having sex with trhem because she sees them as a women or a man.

Just because Partner A owns a strap-on (or a penis) doesn't mean that Partner B is duty bound to have sex with the strap-on/penis.
Partner B may even feel that Partner A is a bit of a bore, banging on about their strap-on/penis and that this might be one factor which leads Partner B to start looking for Partner C.