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Original poster

This mornings everyday sexism

28 replies

IsChippyMintonExDirectory · 04/06/2014 12:39

Went to wash car with DH in supermarket car wash this morning and a woman was inflating her tyres nearby. She came over to us in a flap and said "excuse me does your husband know how to inflate car tyres I've done it wrong?". This annoyed me the assumption that a man must know about cars and not me. I was smug pleased to be able to say "I can help you with that" and showed her what to do. AIBU to be irritated by this?

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ReallyFuckingFedUp · 05/06/2014 09:47

Definitely a part of it spever.

Wasn't that good billnted ]grin]

PlumpPartridge · 05/06/2014 07:12

Good point, speverend - I've seen that before.

In fact, I may have used it myself, indirectly; at my last place of work, I would ask the man in charge whether I could have some help with acquiring such-and-such. He'd explain, with much arm-waving and expansion, why it simply couldn't be done.I'd nod along, mention how I didn't know anything about this stuff and thank him for his time at the end. They always seemed pleased by the deference and more willing to help me out in future, curiously.

To be fair, I think a young man who had listened deferently and politely thanked him might have got the same response, although that sort of behaviour doesn't seem to occur often in man-man interactions - there seems to be a sort of unwritten rule of not showing 'weakness' by admitting ignorance, whereas woman are 'allowed' to because we're considered to be weaker anyway.

I'm actually feeling retrospectively annoyed, come to think of it.

SpeverendRooner · 05/06/2014 07:00

Is there an element of self-justification in the woman's behaviour, do you think? "I can't do this simple thing! How do I ask for help without looking clueless? I know! I'll present it as women just aren't good at this kind of thing."

I've certainly heard gender-reversed (and gender role-reversed) version a few times, and I'm pretty sure that that is the subtext there.

ballsballsballs · 04/06/2014 21:16

I used to manage a team and my senior team member was a very big man.

Cue some awkward moments when suppliers immediately assumed he was the boss, despite his lack of experience.

Sigh.

BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure · 04/06/2014 21:11

Now I wanna hear your joke Grin

dementedma · 04/06/2014 21:08

Why do you use the term mens/menz?

BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure · 04/06/2014 21:03

Now I wanna hear your joke Grin

ReallyFuckingFedUp · 04/06/2014 20:58

damn it then.

BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure · 04/06/2014 20:52

Nope - mine was a split decision between "wasps" and "flies"

ReallyFuckingFedUp · 04/06/2014 18:20

I want to make a WASP joke but not sure if you just did or not?! Grin

BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure · 04/06/2014 18:04

But what about the wasps?

ReallyFuckingFedUp · 04/06/2014 17:55

those damned bees.

DoctorTwo · 04/06/2014 17:41

Something similar happened to me at the weekend. I was round a friend's house and she was waiting in for somebody to put in cable. When the bloke arrived he asked me where to drill through the wall. I told him it was nowt to do with me, it was her house and she makes the decisions. It was quite funny.

KristinaM · 04/06/2014 17:17

The clue is in the little blue bar at the top of the page -This is feminism/ womens rights chat

It would be out of place in " beekeeping " or" baby names" as well

And it woudl be even more annoying if the beekeeping people kept gate crashing other topics to talk about bees. And beekeepers had more privilege in society than non beekeepers

< gets tied up in own analogy >

ReallyFuckingFedUp · 04/06/2014 16:49

in what way?

TheSultanofPing · 04/06/2014 16:47

doesn't it end.

TheSultanofPing · 04/06/2014 16:45

That's very informative Kristina, but doesn't end up making the discussion a bit one sided?

ReallyFuckingFedUp · 04/06/2014 16:45

It's not running, if you mentioned it to your friends it would make sense to comment on it then.

If however you are on the FWR section where I would bet money that none of the regular posters have ever made the comment "Aw bless men just don't see dirt" it seems a bit tit for tat for the sake of it.

The op is not a bloke. The bit of every day sexism you are speaking about was not a bit of every day sexism to her.. Sometimes women are allowed to talk about their own experiences without giving equal time to men.. it happens constantly frequently the other way around with no on ever feeling the need to comment.

It is interesting how quick people are to comment what about the menz when no one who isn't a dedicated feminist ever seems to give a fuck about proper sexism.

KristinaM · 04/06/2014 16:26

Running - this article explains it

finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/10/18/phmt-argument/

BriarRainbowshimmer · 04/06/2014 15:35
Wink
BriarRainbowshimmer · 04/06/2014 15:35

Not all women

runningonwillpower · 04/06/2014 14:58

Why is it annoying to suggest that women can be equally guilty of this?

KristinaM · 04/06/2014 14:53

< hands out bingo markers >

KristinaM · 04/06/2014 14:45

Can I please be the first to say ....

Not all men are like that

CaptChaos · 04/06/2014 14:39

Yup, we love a nice what about the menz here, we do.