Need help on deciding whether to continue seeing this CPN

Glad you have real life support.

I absolutely do not want to derail this thread into details, but to clarify, NanaNina at no point did I or AskBasil say that this should not be reported. In fact if you read my post I said "if you feel up to it, then I think you should make a very serious formal complaint about him." It absolutely does not help to tell someone who's been abused that they must make a complaint. There is no must about it, it is totally up to the person themselves if they feel up to it, and at no point should they ever be made to feel that they are responsible for the sick fuck who abused them. They are not responsible. Making a complaint is a good thing, and every support should be given to a person who wants to complain, but if they feel their mental health isn't up to the stress of complaining then forcing them through that process is just victimising them all over again IMO.

I think there is greater awareness these days that not everyone who works in a 'helping' profession is actually fit for the job, and people are less inclined to take the attitude of 'But he's sucha Good Man in such a Caring Job, she must have misunderstood.'

I hope he gets prosecuted. Well done OP. Glad you have RL support too.

OP, I am positively spitting with anger on your behalf right now. What a disgusting, seedy fucker that CPN was. There is NO excuse for the things he said to you - he has abused a situation of power terribly. He is the one to blame here, not you. I'm so glad you have good support and you're not going to let this drop. Look after yourself and be kind to yourself. You've been through some incredibly distressing things and it's OK to feel upset and angry about it all. hugs

Itsmynamechange, it’s good to hear that you have some IRL support!
This thread hits close to home, something very similar happened to me once. Fucking creep tried to groom me when I needed help and wanted to visit me at home. I never let him do that, but I also never dared to make a complait & have really regretted that. I think it’s great that you’re actually planning to do that.
There is nothing wrong with you, you aren’t evil. The evil ones are those who prey on vulnerable people.

It's possible that this horrible man has a track record for unprofessional, inappropriate behaviour. He might be new to this particular practice, having been shunted out of previous ones, and with any luck your complaint will be the last one ie enough to have him sacked and banned from the profession. Plenty of handholding and support available on MN for you, best of luck.

Morning hope you are feeling a bit better and managed to sleep

Fucking hell that man is vile.

Do not see him again and if you feel up to reporting him then do, glad you have the support of your friend.

As an aside I saw a male cpn after I had post natal psychosis and spent time in a psych unit. He was nothing but professional and brilliant. I also discussed previous sexual assaults, he did not minimise them in any way or talk about his own sex life (can't believe your creepy shit cpndid that! So out of line and not on). Mine was compassionate and understanding and the utmost professional. So I hope you get a lovely new cpn like I had.

Take care of yourself and don't believe a word that vile man said to you, xxx

Unfortunately, predatory abusers are often drawn to 'caring' professions. Men like this shitbag think that they can get their jollies from patients without being punished as they believe (WRONGLY) that no one will listen to a 'mad woman'. They also get off on abusing the vulnerable.

None of this was your fault. This man was hugely unprofessional and sounds dangerous. I'm glad that your friend is going to help you put in a complaint - he should be sacked at the very least.

As an aside, AskBasil and Caillin are most definitely women.

Oh love, for you. Nice people are told horrible things by disturbing and predatory men who want to abuse their position of trust and power. I'd be seriously concerned about this man - and I'm so pleased you have some good real life support there.

You are not to blame for any of this.
.

cannot control people..

No no no. Nasty unprofessional people like him say such things to anyone. This is how HE operates not you.

Write it down in your safe place.

Do you use any techniques to center yourself, to calm your mind...

You can control people BUT you can control how you respond. You are going to pursue a complaint. This is a logical and sensible response.

It is ok to feel upset as he wasn't professional and has undermined you.

Oh gosh, rushed through thread utterly shocked at what this so called professional has said to you.

Do make the complaint.

Any form of therapist, no matter what framework they operate in, should not be giving opinions and passing judgement. You should feel secure and free to explore whatever issues you need to without being told anything. You should be facilitated.

Please write down any key words or phrases, or C & P from your OP. Put it in some form of statement.

I would be strongly wording that he tried to invalidate your distress by contradicting your experiences in those situations. In doing so he also contradicted legally recognised definitions of rape.

He also shared information with you about his sex life which you did not feel comfortable with and had not agreed such open boudaries fromt he outset (I presume)

Write how the session made you feel.

This is truley horrifying. I know it may be hhis word against yours but they may be a historical complaints.

Take care HTH. FWIW I think you are learning boudaries as you questionned this monstrous excuse for a HCP and you were right. I hope this at least signifies some progress for you.

I speak as a CPN- report this man to the team manager and absolutely follow this through. I am so sorry you have had this experience

AskBasil and Cailin - totally disagree with you. Of course it is the manager's job to ensure this CPN carries out his job in a professional manner but how are they going to get evidence unless he is reported. In any event I think the OP needs to make a formal complaint for herself, and the way in which she was treated.

I can't believe that you think this should go unreported - are you men by any chance?

Don't let him near you. You are in a vulnerable state and he is in a role of authority. Who knows what he could say/do in the seclusion of your home. Its a dangerous situation.
It makes me sick to think of professional people having that view but to openly admit to doing it makes me so angry and heart broken.
Even my dog knows not to hump people while they're asleep!!!
Keep yourself safe. Cancel the appointment, complain about him (if you feel strong enough, we'll all support you either way) and avoid all contact with him.
Don't let anyone tell you what happened to you was ok - none of it was. they were crimes. They were evil. most importantly they categorically were not in any way your fault.
You CAN get through this
You ARE strong
And you CAN DO ANYTHING you set your mind to.
Others have put you down and pushed you around but now is the time to stand up and say "enough is enough". Set an example for you children and don't put up with any more crap.

The CPN told me he had done this to partners of his

sorry, my post was in response to this ^

Even if he didn't think it was rape in what way did he think he could discuss his "sex" life with you? He is a predator, and unlike the posters before me I do think you have to report him. If you aren't up to giving personal testimony etc I can understand that, but literally what you wrote in your post. Send that to his boss. Send that to somebody. Just so someone somewhere has the idea in their head that this person needs to be watched.

As above contact his manager, this is far from professional and acceptable behaviour.
Also find out the number of your local PALS, should be on the health trust website. They will support you with any concerns and complaints.
I work in mental health and would report a colleague for this behaviour.

I agree with AskBasil. The fact that he treated you badly does not mean that you are responsible for him. If you don't feel up to reporting him, that's fine, don't feel guilty. It's not your job to protect the world from fuckwits.