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Original poster

'Asking for it'

58 replies

catdoctor · 27/05/2014 20:14

Hi
Can you help me with my DM?
Since marrying my DSF she's developed - or maybe rediscovered sensibilities I find disturbing.
I won't bore you with the claptrap on gay marriage, the most recent conversation was regarding women 'asking for it' ie rape, through their dress/ behaviour.
I was ashamed that I couldn't counter with anything other than - ' no one in their right minds asks to be subject to any violent act'. Please explain to me in words of one syllable why, evidently, no woman asks for it
She was a JP for several years, I could weep.

OP posts:
wafflyversatile · 27/05/2014 20:31

What sort of help are you looking for?

Set statements for when she comes out with this stuff?

A way of letting it wash over you?

Stopping her new DH's influence over her opinions if you think that is the source?

HeyBungalowBill · 27/05/2014 20:30

It makes me sad that some people think that way, how can it be anything other than the rapists fault?

I like what a pp poster said about how a woman can dress revealing, get really drunk or do whatever but at the end of the day no rapist = no rape.

I'm sure there's plenty of women who dress fully covered and aren't drunk and still get raped so I don't see her point! I suppose women who are drunk are just an easier target Sad

Raskova · 27/05/2014 20:29

To think a woman is asking for it cheapens men? That's really not what I meant tho I suppose that's not too wrong.

I meant... To think Men are like this cheapens them

wafflyversatile · 27/05/2014 20:29

like a magistrate.

wafflyversatile · 27/05/2014 20:28

Justice of the Peace?

Raskova · 27/05/2014 20:27

Yes what's jp? I'm sure once you explain it will be obvious.

Men are not animals driven by carnal urges. They are the same as us women and have the ability to look at a naked or skimpily dressed woman without losing all control. To think a woman is asking for it cheapens men.

A woman should be able to wear what she wants, where it is appropriate and not be seen as a sexual object for the enjoyment of men. These women may well be asking for attention or acknowledgement from suitors of their choice but the still have the free will to say no to who ever they wish.

CaptChaos · 27/05/2014 20:21

The only person who is ever responsible for rape is the rapist. It doesn't matter what a woman wears, if there's no rapist around, she won't be raped. It doesn't matter where a woman goes, how much she drinks, whether she goes back to a man's flat or not, if there is no rapist about, she will not be raped.

vosuji · 27/05/2014 20:21

JP? Japanese?