how many working mums rely on their own mum for unpaid whilst they work?

it's my father who provides childcare support for us, and there are several other grandfathers who do the after school pick up at DS's school.

in another town we lived in it was far more common for grandfathers to be doing childcare support - there had been heavy industry nearby that closed down and the women ended up working while the men didn't so a generation later it was the men who were available to provide babysitting.

My mum has ds one day whilst dp and I both work. She is looking after ds for us both.

Pil both look after ds another day.

My mum (well, both my parents now but initially my mum on her own) provide free childcare every week for my DC. I would still have been able to work if we had to pay for childcare but obviously things are easier not having to pay. My kids have a brilliant relationship with my mum and she loves it so it's win win but we are very very very grateful and know we are very lucky.

My parents live over an hour and a half away. DH's live overseas. MiL has done a lot of care for BiL and SiL three children right from the birth of their first - DH and I worry about mil/fil because bil/sil work long hours and have expected mil to leave her husband for months at a time to come and live in with them. They did have a nanny and other household staff when SiL worked for the U.S embassy in India but none of that when they moved back to the U.S. Still, mil is a grown woman and can make her own decisions.

Not lucky because the men do it btw. Lucky because of all the help we have. It is lovely too because DD has very close relationships with all her GPs.

My parents look after DD (4) one day a week and have done since she started nursery when I finished mat leave. DH's Dad looks after her one afternoon a week having picked her up from nursery, and the odd time he can't do it, my Dad does, so not just female members of the family by any means.

I do realise how incredibly lucky we are.

Same with me growing up, my mum went back to work FT when I was a toddler. I went to a childminder.

Nope. Every bit of childcare we've needed, we've paid for.

Luckily our children are beyond needing it now.

My Dad looks after my kids 2 days a week. My Mum is there when he looks after the kids at their house, but it is my dad that does the bulk of it.

Where we live, it is pretty much the custom for mum to look after the grandkids. I used to get so jealous...I'd hear other mums talking about dropping the baby off on Friday and picking her up Monday - every week - I wouldn't want to do that, actually - but I would sure love to have the option.

My parents did do a day a week until the DCs started school, but that was their choice, we weren't reliant on it, they would have just gone to nursery for that day if the GPs hadn't done it, we could have afforded it. They have no other GCs.

No GP care for us as children, we lived 150 miles from ours.

I wish. My parents live overseas, but also are quite elderly. My mum has a chronic illness and can't walk well and isn't strong enough to even hold DD on her lap.
DH's mum is dead and his stepmum lives in London; we see her once or twice a year.

I was actually just talking to a friend about the phenomenon of the FulltimeWorkerMum. She and I are in the same position - we both have somewhat flexible working hours, but fixed workloads (IYSWIM) so that we are "able" to look after our DDs for some of the daytime hours, and then fit in our full-time hours by working at nights and during their naps, nursery slots, whatever we can find. I think there must be lots of us doing this, but nobody much talks about it, we're supposed to fit more neatly into a SAHM/WOHM box.

No
Only have one GP who is 78

DH and I are moving nearly 400 miles to be near Dd. We will be doing child care 3days a week for Dgc.

I used my dad for childcare when dd1 was small, but we are VERY unusual. My mum worked ft until recently but my dad was a sahd when we were little and then he was a ft carer for his mum when she developed Alzheimers.

I don't know anyone else who relies on a grandad for childcare, I do know lots of people who rely on grandma (or grandma and grandad but grandma does the "work" part and grandad picks and chooses which bits he does)

We don't use my mum or mil for childcare now for dd2, but when we thought there was going to be a dc3 we talked about mil doing one day a week and my parents doing another. We use a cm atm.

No. We're mostly on our own and totally reliant on flexible working and paid childcare. Family live over an hour away and youngest GP is 70.

We knew this would be the case so no angst and we both earn enough per hour to make it work.

Are working dads not reliant on childcare provided by family members, then? Or is the point more about the quantity of unpaid care being provided, often by women in families (not just for children, the burden of caring for parents and spouses falls inequitably on women too). It's a vicious circle - because you are less likely to be busy with work you are more available for activities which keep you out of the workforce.

My parents do one day a week childcare for my db's children and have done for the last 7 years. They love it, but I don't think would be keen to do any more than this.

I've often wondered how this works. The stats for grandparents providing childcare are quite high (is it a third or did I make that up ), but where are all these 50 something women who aren't working?

My mum retired at 60 which was the year after ds1 was born, but I was 34 when I had him, so hardly young. If I'd had children earlier (and had lived close enough for them to provide childcare) then both my parents would have still been working full time.

Do women give up work to look after grandchildren? And what sort of knock on affect would this have on them in terms of pensions etc?

I won't retire until at least 68 (health allowing), so even if ds1 has a child age 30, I'll still be working, and by the time I'm retired will probably be considered too old for childcare purposes...

Both my parents and DH's would love to have a more hands on role, but as they all work FT and live 2-4 hours away, it was never really a possibility. Myself and DH always knew that paid childcare would be happening and budgeted accordingly.

Having said that, when DS gets older, we already have places reserved at both for part of the school holidays! As one is by the sea and the other in the city, he will have a fab time.

Both my mum and MIL were/are working parents. No family help, so they juggled it around children.

We have never used family for childcare. We used a nursery when they were babies and wraparound care since at school. It is very difficult and expensive and has had a massive impact on what I now laughingly call my career.

My mum made it quite clear when I was PG with DC1 that she would not do regular childcare. 7 years on she has kept this promise. It makes my DH furious as we did a huge cross country move etc to be near them.

However, DH & DC don't seem to notice the emergency deliveries of sandwiches, diet coke (for mum!) & treats for DC when DC is hospitalised, it has happened a few times... when we used the washing machine & tumble dryer in the middle of norovirus... & most importantly with an AS child the unfailing regularity of granny's Sunday Lunch, same food, same time, same place, every Sunday. Oh, & for various reasons I have no PIL around.

The downside is I hold down 3 part time jobs as a childminder for my 2 DCs is more that what I earn an hour in any of those jobs & I work odd hours

When I was pregnant, my mother said "Well don't think I'm going to babysit or look after it." So I have never asked her. DMIL is a very hands on Granny, but has never done "unpaid childcare" although they do go and stay with her for the odd weekend.

Nope. I work, DH is currently a full-time student. DD is 2 & not yet in nursery. We have to manage between the two of us, except for about 45 mins, one day a week when we couldn't make it work, PILs look after DD then.

My mum does however, look after my niece, quite regularly. My Dsis is a SAHM.

I never even thought about asking my parents to look after my children regularly. We lived too far away and as I'm the youngest of four and they didn't look after any of my nephews/nieces it was just never an expectation. My mother was a SAHM so not an issue when I was growing up. She is generally disapproving of working mothers so would not have wanted to enable me to work.

dh was looked after by his aunt after school for a while, but mostly his mum worked shifts so his dad took the hands on role in the evenings. By the time our children were born dh's mum was dead and his father had moved away but I'm not sure we would have wanted them to do anything regular regardless.

We had a nanny, nursery and then a childminder plus dh has been a SAHD too.