Justifying long term SAHM to DDs?

Earning your own money allows more money into the family pot.

Well which is it handcream? Your own? Or part of the family pot?

We don't live in a vacuum. Our choices, and the OP's scenario is certainly one of choice, do have an impact beyond our own families. We make the society in which we live and in which our children will live as adults. Justifying our choices in terms of family interest is quite different to justifying them from an ideological perspective, which is what the OP was asking. I dare say a high earning husband and an educated SAHM wife is very beneficial to many families while children are young, but that isn't a feminist justification. Feminism is a movement against the oppression of women. Not for choice to make decisions which may impact negatively on the lives of other women.

That's not to say we always need a feminist justification for everything that we do of course. Another perspective may be more important. An economic reason for example. But I'm not sure about making it feminist just because it involves a choice, without examining the societal pressures that influence that choice.

Oh dear! There are some things in life that an education or money can't buy. I'm hoping this thread is a wind up

We have insurance too. However some chose not to, like the chaps who demanded to be seen in the Far East a few yrs ago. They were English, had turned up at the hospital where I was waiting myself and who didn't have any insurance.

Apparently 25 percent of people going on holiday don't take out insurance. It's another example of people who think their choices are their own business until it becomes clear that they chose unwisely and then they look to blame others, look for others to pay for their choices

I don't think being a long term SAHM needs justifying at all & actually think its a ridiculous thing to say.

So, my mum worked part-time, was a latch key kid & pretty much neglected. My DD's are almost 11 & 8 & I have, at the moment, no intention of getting a paid 'conventional' job...because they are my job.

I also hated coming home to no-one, I hated having processed junk for tea & eating alone.

Please don't underestimate the importance of being there.

handcream

There are many sp on benefit, do you not agree with this?
Some don't have a choice and don't need to be vilified for this.
For the record, no I wouldn't have to go on benefits if dh left me. I have my own money. Everything is in my name and we owe nothing, neither of us.
My standard of living wouldn't change because there would be no reason for it to.
Surely my situation isn't unique.
As for gaining employment there are opportunities for work and employers are less picky in the min wage none career jobs. I have seen it with my own eyes. Long term sahp doesn't mean you have nothing to offer and employers look at the skills you have gained whilst doing this.
Hotel house keeping anybody.

owl that's terrible! I don't really know much about insurance, just enough to know that we are probably over insured . My bank is always trying to persuade me to switch our insurance (which is with a patchwork of providers and mainly something to do with either our pensions or our mortgage) to them (I always nod smile and forget about it - I'm very change averse). Perhaps if you spoke to your bank you could find out what your options are? I know both people being insured for 50% of our mortgage was a condition of getting that mortgage... Sorry I can't be more help.

I am sorry about your mum too, and all the other death in young people's lives. It's devastating x

Do some posters really think that a women out of the workplace would really get a role as easily as some in employment. That just isn't true...
Someone who said well a SAHM could always go on benefits... Well no wonder our benefits bill in this country is so huge. Everyone working is paying for that choice!

I earn my own salary and of course wouldn't be in exactly the same position if my DH and I were not together but I wouldn't be badly off. I certainly wouldn't think I could always claim benefits. That is an even worse message to give out to your children. Do what I did, choose unwisely, stop working, and then when or if it goes wrong claim benefits

I cannot get insurance hercshipwright
If anyone wants to guide me with that, that's fine :) I have no immediate or chronic health conditions

Nobody has to justify anything

owllady are you not insured too???? That's something I'm fanatical about - my mum died when I was young. Uninsured. My DH's dad died when he was young (and his younger sister was really little). Uninsured. One of my closest school friend's parents both died (separately) around the same time as my mum, one before, one after. Both insured. Also small children (2) in the picture. The difference in experience of the properly insured family and mine (and DH's although I only met him 10 years later) was...striking. I suspect we are ridiculously over insured but it's not something I will ever leave to chance, given what I've seen.

Although I do sometimes wonder if it's wise that DH (and for that matter the kids) know how much better off, superficially, they'd be if I stumbled out of a moon door...

How do any of us justify our choices? There are pros and cons inherent to every choice, you make the choices that best suit at the time.

I am a SAHM. I have no regrets, I don't believe in them. I can explain the decisions I make, but justify them? Why would someone demand I justified the decision to be a SAHM, other than my husband who was happy with this decision?

What is the lifestyle of a wealthy sahm?

Most of this thread concentrates on money, which people need to live. If you don't need more to live, whatever your lifestyle, who else's business is it anyway?

I haven't let the side down, I am empowering someone on it

Well put ubik1.

You've cut through the fog nicely.

The OPs premise was SAHM with husbands on 6 figure salaries. In that scenario benefits and 15% of the husband's salary (if he doesn't hide most of it) will in no way compensate for the income and lifestyle of a SAHM with a very wealthy husband. No way.

I think there are many reasons why women stay at home, many are economic and structural rather than about perceived 'opting out' or laziness or whatever claptrap makes everyone feel better.

I get paid £63.15 in carers allowance every week
, nothing else, no child benefit either or anything else. If I died my husband would have to give up work to care anyway. If he dies I get 300k plus… in the case of death, he would be much more worse off financially

I do hope this helps

Yes of course, with no recent work experience employers will be climbing over themselves to employ them

I doubt most WOHMs have children in private schools or mansions and given they already have an income would be far less screwed than an unemployed person that has been home for years.

Of course a sahm could get a job as easily as anybody else

Some might. Many couldn't. Especially those with little employment experience.

Most wohm would be well screwed without their dhs income

Some might be. Many wouldn't be. And at least they'd have a job already, not be faced with having to find a job.

You seem very money motivated handcream, nothing wrong with that but I'm sure that for some SAHP it isn't about that. Besides, I did my contributing to the money pot before we had dd and worked my backside off in a job I really enjoyed which had a crap salary btw so if I did go back to work full time now I wouldn't really be bringing in any more than I be earning, we don't claim benefits either fwiw.

handcream

In your experience, earning your own money allows more money into the family pot. Every situation is different and my point is you can't generalise.
The poster up thread who claimed sahms were foolish to not work because if disaster struck would be destitute without their dh income is wrong in some cases, that's all.
I know several women who would lose the lot if they divorced and they work.

SAHMs cant just walk into a job and would have to rely on the state whilst they attempted to find work

Or a life insurance policy? Or savings? It's not as black and white as 'ohh man has died, must claim benefits'

HappyMummy

Of course a sahm could get a job as easily as anybody else, in fact it would probably be a lot easier as they wouldn't be confined to certain job roles and career to provide the standard of life they were accustomed to.
Most wohm would be well screwed without their dhs income, have to sell the house, maybe take dc out of private school etc.
No difference at all.

Of course there is a difference. Earning your own money allows more money into the family pot. So are you suggesting that you can either work or claim benefits? Benefits are for the most vulnerable, not people who have chosen not to work and then find themselves unemployable because they have left the workplace