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Original poster

Justifying long term SAHM to DDs?

967 replies

whenwilltherebegoodnews · 19/05/2014 13:35

I have a few friends who, because their DHs are high (6 figure) earners, are able to be SAHMs, and have no intention of ever returning to work. These women are all at least degree educated and previously had successful careers.

I just wonder, in such a situation, how a long term SAHM encourages her DD to realise her academic/career potential, if the example she sets is that her education is only a short term requirement until she meets a high earning man?

I'm not trying to start a bun fight, I'm genuinely interested. My own mother is university educated, and has always worked in some capacity, successfully managing her own businesses with being the main carer, and encouraged me to be financially independent.

Personally, I feel I have invested too many years, and too much money, in my education and career to give it up forever after only 10-15 years. I like to think I am setting a good example to my DD that career and family are not mutually exclusive.

So how does a long term SAHM reconcile this? Am I thinking too simplistically?

OP posts:
FidelineandFumblin · 21/05/2014 15:30

Eh?

So if I list my name, address, DOB and contact details in my next post and someone then refers to me having outted myself then that would be appalling ironic because this is the feminism section would it? [confusion]

Anything you say word Hmm

FidelineandFumblin · 21/05/2014 15:28

Actually it was an allusion rather than an outing per se.

TheWordFactory · 21/05/2014 15:28

She did it to herself.
She's only got herself to blame.
She didn't protect herself well enough...

Oh the irony in the feminism section.

I'll leave you to it.

Owllady · 21/05/2014 15:26

I was just waiting for the suggestion of employing a Croatian nurse then I would have had thread bingo. It's quite dull in the shires you know

FidelineandFumblin · 21/05/2014 15:24

Word she really does out herself. Repeatedly.

Ridiculous distinctive identifying info regarding who paid who what magnitude and type of divorce settlement when she split from husband and family size and educational arrangements for her DC and their careers and on and on and on. Every new NN she does it again.

That's before we even get to the Margaret Thatcher posting style.

She clearly doesn't mind regulars knowing who she is, she just doesn't want to be searchable. I just very carefully DIDN'T giver her full previous NN, so she is still unsearchable.

barrackobana · 21/05/2014 15:24

Shame you don't feel as heated about it when she insults other people on here, including their children, i suppose you admire her intellectuality, tickles you perhaps?

barrackobana · 21/05/2014 15:23

I haven't outed her! She has outed herself and yes it is hilarious each time it happens.

Retropear · 21/05/2014 15:18

Slightly over dramatic.

And to be fair you'd need to be aware of her very extreme and rather insulting views to know who the hell Fide was hinting at.

TheWordFactory · 21/05/2014 15:16

Bullshit barrack.

Do don't out people. You can't escuse it to yourself. And you shouldn't find it hilarious and slap those on the back that do it.

Horrible behaviour!

FidelineandFumblin · 21/05/2014 15:16

Possibly Word Blush.

But in that case it is also a bit daft to repeatedly out oneself by persisting in posting in such a distinctive, imperious and one-track way, repeatedly referring to the same issues and identifying info.

She really is the only person I could identify as NCer on here EVER. I find it hard to believe it isn't deliberate.

Retropear · 21/05/2014 15:16

Exactly.

3 of us knew,I'm sure we're not alone.

barrackobana · 21/05/2014 15:14

WordFactory - She outs herself!

MarshaBrady · 21/05/2014 15:14

Yep agree, don't make it personal.

TheWordFactory · 21/05/2014 15:11

It is really shitty to out people .

Really, really poor form.

People NC because certain twats hound certain posters and make their lives miserable. Outing their RL names. Outing their DC. Sending a multitude of twatish private messages.

Retropear · 21/05/2014 15:10

FideGrin

barrackobana · 21/05/2014 15:10

GrinGrinGrin

PeachyTheSanctiMoanyArse · 21/05/2014 15:10

' Anyway for many many women being home and doing what you do there is not a balanced life. It is boring as it just is one aspect of life '

I should be starting a voluntary placement working in a PRU soon, around the boy's needs.

So not always true.

FidelineandFumblin · 21/05/2014 15:09

More to the point barrack why does she keep picking such dull NNs? At least X sounded glamourous, this is like being chided by a succession of Mother's Union members Grin

PeachyTheSanctiMoanyArse · 21/05/2014 15:08

Dh also has to show domestic input.

My 'job' is the boys, and given that means juggling 4 schools, therapies, 3 statements and all the rest that is not a part time thing.

Domestic is shared, although I always cook as I like it.

barrackobana · 21/05/2014 15:06

JaneParker -ah! dear dear! knew you would pop up soon, why do you bother changing your name ?Grin

MarshaBrady · 21/05/2014 15:04

I think I just know some very hard working people, with or without the wife at home they'd still have to do it. And if they didn't someone else would.

FidelineandFumblin · 21/05/2014 15:04

But so many jobs could be more flexible. One of the main reasons they're not is that the fifteen people in the meeting room are men with wives doing all the domestic duties

Yes! Exactly That.

TheWordFactory · 21/05/2014 15:04

I suppose what I'm saying is that his job still affords him plenty of time with his family.

It is doable for a parent of either sex, providing they have the right support.

Nearly all his senior colleagues are parents. In fact, I can't think of any who aren't. But a diminishingly small number are women Sad.

Retropear · 21/05/2014 15:03

I beg your pardon Jane.

Says you.

What utter rot.

capsium · 21/05/2014 15:03

It is boring as it just is one aspect of life - missing out the work area, professional success which for many is part of that holistic thing which is a good balanced life.

Speak for yourself. I am not bored. I find being a SAHP more interesting than when I went out to work. I choose how to organise my day.