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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Is sex working ever 'acceptable'

420 replies

neverthebride · 16/05/2014 19:54

Hi everyone, this is my first post on this board so please be gentle (!) but I'd really appreciate some views.

I have a friend who is a sex worker. Very 'exclusive' kind of thing, earns a lot of money etc. I've known her for a long time but it's only recently that she's confided in me that that's how she earns her living.

I've known several sex workers in the past (I work in MH) and those people have been at the 'street level' and were invariably drug addicts and/or very damaged individuals who were abused in so many ways in their personal lives and as sex workers and would not have been sex workers if they felt they had other options.

My friend has apparently been doing sex work for a long time. She is highly educated, has no history of abuse in her life and seems to have made an informed choice to go into sex work as a 'business'. Her clients are big-spenders and she works in an environment where all possible safety precautions are taken. She does not do anything that she doesn't want to do and has made an enormous amount of money (which she admits she is 'addicted to').

I'm really torn on this issue which I didn't think I would be!. On one hand,I think HER experience might be positive but it's perpetuating the idea that sex and bodies are for sale and I absolutely disagree with that and know that the overwhelming experience of sex workers is just horrific.

On the other hand, I think she's an adult woman who's educated and informed and who am I (or anyone else for that matter) to say that she can't make the decision about what she does with her own body?.

I won't not be her friend because of her choices but I feel so uncomfortable with either of my thought processes. Help!

OP posts:
vofomasu · 21/05/2014 14:27

s29.postimg.org/cl8aqzghz/image.png

Here's a screen grab from another. And this woman is a feminist.

BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure · 21/05/2014 14:16

"Clients aren't the ones approaching the daughters of sexworkers telling them their mother will die, sending letters saying they should be gang-raped or putting dog sh*t through their letterboxes."

Nor are feminists. HTH.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 21/05/2014 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 21/05/2014 14:10

People did more than stick their tongue out at Caroline Criado Perez. They threatened her with rape and murder, threatened her children, told her she would 'die tonight' and published her home address. Online abuse that lasted months.

vofomasu · 21/05/2014 14:06

"Feminists, or even just normal sportswomen/comediens are constantly the target of online/twitter attacks."

I know. Recently on Twitter a sexworker of Asian ethnicity had received threats and saying how the police were doing nothing about it. Yet as people were pointing out if you even stick your tougne out at that banknote woman (a blonde white middle class woman) the police will come running.

vofomasu · 21/05/2014 14:03

The source of a lot of those anti quotes IMO is stigma. Which you want to increase.

"Traffickers and pimps do call themselves sex workers,"

A sex worker is someone who sells sexual services.

A "pimp" is sometimes called an agent or manager, but not a "sexworker".

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 21/05/2014 14:00

Traffickers and pimps do call themselves sex workers, though. It's a subterfuge they use to campaign for the sex industry, to protect their profiteering.

The source of a lot of those "anti" quotes is also misogyny - the same misogyny that allows websites like PN to exist. It's all misogyny.

Feminists, or even just normal sportswomen/comediens are constantly the target of online/twitter attacks. I don't think sex workers have the monopoly there Hmm

vofomasu · 21/05/2014 13:58

Or are you the one who called social services on GlasgaeLauraLee and calleing her an unfit mother after finding out what she does for money?

vofomasu · 21/05/2014 13:57

"Or maybe its those gangs of naice middle class feminists beating them up, is it? "

Are you the one who threatend to stalk AnarchaSxworker? or are you the one who told Hayleystevens she was an "attack dog for teh menz"?

Which anti are you?

Bellezeboobian · 21/05/2014 13:56

I'm a sex worker so yes.

vofomasu · 21/05/2014 13:55

"What about your attacks on Rachel Moran?"

maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2014/04/08/slush-fund/

Speaking of which, I noticed everyone ignored the link that exposed her as putting grant money meant for her NGO into her own personal bank account.

I'm not making this up, there are emails on that link as proof.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 21/05/2014 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vofomasu · 21/05/2014 13:52

@johannafeminazi
"Your job is rape for pay" Thanks, dicks, I've been raped, and I bone for $$, I can damn well tell which is which #whenantisattack

@MorganeMerteuil
I don't dare to put photos of my face on my escort ad because I'm afraid antis find it and write bad comments #whenantisattack

@Maggie_McNeill
"I believe you were never a prostitute, that you are just a punter yourself." #whenantisattack

@singult
You CLEARLY are a trafficker, not a sex worker. You're a man! #whenantisattack

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 21/05/2014 13:52

What about your attacks on Rachel Moran?

vofomasu · 21/05/2014 13:49

Some things sexworkers have been told and had done to them. Not by clients, but by "antis":

@ManCrack
#whenantisattack "I hope your children reject you. You should never have been allowed to have kids in the first place.clearly you're unfit."

@whoreseyeview
"You are a rape-enabler" - that's word for word. #whenantisattack

@Hayleystevens
Being told "You're an attack dog for teh menz" for writing about sex workers making empowered decisions. #whenantisattack

@AnarchaSxworker
They stalked me online, got as much info as they could find and threatened to expose and report me #whenantisattack

@GlasgaeLauraLee
Telling me I'm an unfit mother and calling social services 'cos I'm a sex worker #whenantisattack

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 21/05/2014 13:47

NotAllPuntersAreLikeThat

vofomasu · 21/05/2014 13:46

"NAPALT"

wat?

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 21/05/2014 13:46

Nor are feminists. Feminists - certainly not the MN feminists - do not stigmatise or abuse prostitutes.

However, the MURDER and VIOLENCE comes from pimps and punters. That is undeniable - and yet you try to cloud the issue.

Nobody on MN supports what that Irish tabloid did - there was a thread on it at the time. Not one poster agreed with it.

vofomasu · 21/05/2014 13:45

"No, clients are just beating them up and murdering them."

And your source is what?

vofomasu · 21/05/2014 13:43

"Oh, that can be checked on PN with ease. "

Some (not all) can be found by typing them into Google. But it would be far easier if they had the ID of the review next to them. Almost as if she doesn't want readers to check them.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 21/05/2014 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vofomasu · 21/05/2014 13:41

"Who is it that harms them? "

storify.com/itsjustahobby/sex-workers-speak-whenantisattack

Clients aren't the ones approaching the daughters of sexworkers telling them their mother will die, sending letters saying they should be gang-raped or putting dog sh*t through their letterboxes.

And clients aren't the ones making fake bookings then going into their house with a hidden camera running, then leaving and posting the recording on youtube. (An Irish tabloid I forget the name of did this about a year ago, the video was on youtube for about a month before it got removed). The reporter was a supporter of the nordic model.

And then of course there's the harm that comes from all the unannounced raids...

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 21/05/2014 13:40

Oh, that can be checked on PN with ease. ALL the reviews are vile, even so-called positive ones.

Making comments on Buffy's time is a bit rich coming from you - the "man" who never tires of making up new MN registrations and posting on every prostitution thread going - to defend your little hobby.

vofomasu · 21/05/2014 13:36

Question- Why hasn't Nia put the number of the review next to each of the alleged quotes so people can check them to verify she hasn't edited or added bits?

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 21/05/2014 13:35

Oh, and here's us thinking you were a brand new poster, vof. Not. Wink

Do you see yourself as a Punter On a White Horse, charging in to defend all Punters?

Why are women working as prostitutes in London 12 times more likely to be murdered than women in other occupations? Who is it that harms them? Is is the police, or feminists? No - it's the pimps and the punters. And saying NAPALT just won't wash.

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