Please help me clarify my thoughts around this Mother's Day Assembly...

Surely there are mothers among the teachers peddling that shit? Working, educated mothers.

What the bloody hell are they thinking? A song that says my mum's a bit shit, a bit thick, but hey, she cooks a nice dinner so that's ok?

I think if I heard that song I'd have stood up and starting bloody heckling!

I do agree whole-heartedly that the song is absurd. I can't imagine who could think otherwise, it is baffling.

OP isn't upset because she'd got a degree.

OP is upset because little children have been taught to sing a song which says that women don't have degrees. Others have children who have been taught to sing songs about how "mum" does all the cooking and cleaning.

These are poor messages to be inculcating in small children.

While I agree that school events should be inclusive and so stuff like mother's day is potentially going to be very upsetting for some children, I don't think that is a reason to ignore the fact that the children are being taught sexist songs. Why would it be?

No it wasn't you mummytime. Apologies. It was Roshbegosh. I know where you are coming from and agree though Roshbegosh. As I said the whole celebration of Mothers Day in general is exclusionary and very 'othering' of families that don't follow what is viewed as the norm.

Rosh, agree that it's bad for children in your situation, but do you also agree that the song is a heap of shit?

Don't bring it up at parents' evening bike, there's not enough time!

This has interested me as I think it fits in with a huge amount of pigeonholing that goes on at DD's school. In all fairness that song would have been slung out of the window by the teachers but there is a sense of 'all mum's are SAHM's who have all the time in the world to attend everything at odd times, when in reality as a childminder I often attend mindee's events because their parents have to work. Again, the leadership team is female. How significant is this do you think?
There seems to.be a distinct lack of imagination there, they have a grandparents session in the middle of the day, planned with the assumption that they are retired, when in reality most GP's here are still working.

If it was me, I was irritated that this issue was all about the 'I've got a degree, how dare they?' OP rather than thinking of children present feeling excluded and rotten. As a foster Carer I see the children being made miserable by these things.

Scallopsrgreat - if it was me you thought had a swipe at the OP, could you please point out where? Because I certainly didn't mean to.

I did mean that in my DCs school a lot of Mums have very important jobs - Surgeons, work in the City etc. where having time off for an assembly is totally impossible. Rather than denigrating the OPs job. There are jobs where you can rearrange things to occasionally get time off, there are jobs where this takes 6 months planning, and jobs where its really not possible.

Of course there are also people who have other caring roles who couldn't attend a "Mother's Day" assembly.

As well as the song which is complete shite, someone mentioned upthread about those children without mothers or who have father's as primary carers (although they used it to have a swipe at you OP. Not sure why that was necessary). It's all very exclusionary.

As is the timing of the assembly which is a really important point. As if a mother's time isn't as important as the rest of the working world. It was an inconvenient time. And I think that is very much worth raising.

Wow. Thanks for the heads up on that naff song. If I ever hear it from my dds (presently 3&1) I'll definitely be taking further.

Mad!

I have complained to my DD head about the various meetings and the lack of consideration for working mums. They now video and publish all meetings online. We have a female leadership team (not sure if it's relevant)
My friend in the same town complained and was told, oh our mums don't work. WTAF!

Why bother educating girls if work/careers/education have to end once you breed.

They don't do this at the DC's school, thank goodness. I will be grilling the dc's to see if they sing the song though.

Nursery always hosted a Mothers Day tea in March and a Fathers Day tea in June.

This song gave me the rage! Am planning a quiet word with the head. The 55 mins of chatting would annoy me too. Our assemblies are always immediately before pick up.

I've never heard of the song, but how fitting that it is from 'Out of the Ark' publishing. Because it has a very outdated view of the world.
images.scholastic.co.uk/assets/a/9f/8f/my-mum-lyrics-524534.pdf

Yes I'd ask how it fits with their policy of equal opportunities, and high academic expectations for girls.

It's less likely there would be a Fathers' Day assembly, because unlike Mothering Sunday it has no roots in the Church.

I'd ask why they have chosen this time (first thing after drop off, or last thing before pick up strikes me as more suitable). It would definitely be worth making the point that, whilst you acknowledge that there is no perfect time which suits everyone, you hope that times will be varied so that it isn't the same group which faces difficulties every time.

They shouldn't be having Mother's Day assemblies IMHO (fortunately DCs school never has). There are too many children in "unconventional" family set ups, for whom it would just upset. Never mind the "mummy has an important job" and can't get time off for every assembly.
(Or even grumpy SAHM like me, who really still have better things to do with our time than trapse into school every week).

OP I hope you ask them about what their aspirations are for girls, and how these are re-enforced through the songs they sing.

Well just think of the children there either in foster care or without a mother and you can be sure they will feel worse about the whole shite thing than you do.

That's awful! DS had one but it was a 3 minute song and ten mins before school kicked out and the song was all about listening to their mums and doing what they were told! The lyrics of that song are outrageous. What the fuck? I have two degrees fuck you very much. I'd be apoplectic if I had heard the children sing that.

I was going to start a thread on this last night, but tiredness got the better of me.

My eldest is only in a Reception, so yesterday was my first Mother's Day assembly. It was the same format as described by the OP, with the degree song and the cleaning/cooking song and others of a similar ilk.

I was too stunned to be cross at the time, but I spent all evening mentally composing my letter to the headmistress! I was amazed that none of the entirely female staff had ever raised how dated and sexist the songs are. Hardly aspirational for the girls!!!

I asked ds what he thought of the songs. He said they weren't fair on Dads because they did cooking too. So maybe DS recognises the songs as boloney.

I still want to raise this with school. Would Parent's Evening next week be appropriate?

"she may not have a degree"

Fuck that! I have a degree, and I'm a sahm thank you very much. How insulting - which ever way you look at it!

Yeah - I thought the 15 mins was bad - my dc school tends to do 2.30-3.00 stuff, then you hang around 'having coffee' until 3.15 chucking out time. It's just so....I don't have words - but have taken pictures for many a working mum friend that can't make it, in the past... it's crap- but I don't know what the solution is.

"she may not have a degree"? just wtf? not to mention she might be...er..working to support her family and not be able to make it to their twee little assembly.
I would mention it yes, it is bloody awful.

Tbf my school does father reading sessions at 1430.

That song is outrageous! I also agree that it is unlikely that they would hold an assembly for fathers at 2.30.

I've worked at a school that had 'Father's Day Breakfast' where they dc and fathers came before school started. Perhaps you could suggest something like that for Mother's Day next year. I didn't notice if the school did a Mother's Day one as it was before I had DC and organised by the parent's committee and therefore off my radar.